Haunted 1

Bam wandered unsteadily along the road. He was starting to think he'd been slipped something in the bar because the amount he'd drunk wasn't enough to fuck him up like this. For the life of him he couldn't even remember how he'd got wherever the fuck he was.

Where was he?

Looking round as his head got clearer, he realised he truly had no idea.

“Just great.” Sitting down on a garden wall, he went through his pockets. Keys-- check, beanie-- check, cell phone-- check, wallet... Bam tugged on the chain attached to his belt buckle and came up empty. “God-fucking-damn it!”

There was a noise like something falling behind him and he swung round in time to see a shadowy figure hurrying away round the side of the house he was sitting in front of. Pausing for just a second to frown at the decrepit and forbidding looking house, he jumped over the wall and followed.

“Hey wait!” It was the only sign of life he'd spotted, a chance to ask where he was. “Please.”

Bam followed the house round to the back and stopped. There was nobody there.

“Hello?” He peered into the shadows. “I just need to know where I am. Hello?”

Near the opposite corner of the house, the dark figure appeared again; a boy with a pale face and huge eyes just visible in the moonlight.

“Fifth and Weston.”

Bam could barely hear the whisper and unconsciously took a step closer. The boy inhaled sharply, pulling back into the shadows.

“Sorry.” He raised his hands slowly, “I didn't mean to frighten you.” He backed away. “Thanks for your help.” As he turned for the road, he heard another whisper.

“You're welcome. Happy New Year.”

By the time Bam looked back, the boy was gone. Weird. At least now he knew where he was, he could find his way home. He was more than a little intrigued by the boy though. Maybe he'd have a look at the house tomorrow.

@>*~

Bam woke with a groan. His head was pounding and his mouth tasted like shit. He dragged himself out of bed and stumbled into the bathroom. A late night and a few beers shouldn't have left him feeling so crap, he must have been slipped something.

Frowning at his reflection in the mirror, he splashed his face with water and brushed his teeth as he tried to remember who'd been near his drink the previous night. Trouble was, he could barely remember getting home, let alone who might have been at the bar.

At least it was Saturday and he didn't have to face school in the state he was in. He probably looked as bad as he felt and his headache was going nowhere fast.

He took a quick shower to get rid of the smell of stale smoke, dried off and got dressed. Small thuds from upstairs indicated the presence of his family and he jogged upstairs into the kitchen.

“Morning.” Bam smacked his brother on the back of the head and sat next to his father.

“Hey! What was that for asshole?”

“For being you.” Bam smirked. His mother grabbed his chin and pulled his face towards her. “Ape! Get off!”

“You look terrible.”

“Thanks.” He grimaced. “I feel terrible.”

“Here.” She plonked a glass of water and some aspirin in front of him.

“You shouldn't stay out so late.”

“Fuck you Jess.” Bam swallowed down the painkillers and tried not to retch as his stomach complained. “I wouldn't have been out so late if I hadn't gotten fucking lost.”

His brother sneered at him. “How did you get lost?”

“I don't know.” He shrugged. “I only had a few beers.”

“Well if you will go to that hole you call a club.” Ape shoved a plate of eggs and bacon in front of him.

“It's not that bad.” Bam glared at his mother, but his stomach seemed to have settled down and he shoveled his breakfast into his mouth.

“You should be more careful.”

“Whatever,” he sighed at his father. “I think I lost my wallet, give me some money, Phil.”

“What happened to please?” Phil nonetheless dug in his pocket and handed him some cash.

Bam paused long enough in his eating to shove the money in his pants, then he stopped altogether as a strange memory occurred to him. “There was a big, old house.”

Ape frowned at him. “The old Weston place on Fifth?”

Fifth and Weston. The strange boy. It all came flooding back.

“What were you doing on that side of town?”

“I don't know.” He shrugged and carried on eating.

“Shame about that house.”

Bam looked up at his mother impatiently. “What?”

“It's been empty for too long.”

“Empty?” Now he was intrigued again.

“Yeah, since old Mr Weston died back in the early eighties.”

Bam blinked slowly. “No family?”

“I'm sure he had a daughter, but there was some big scandal, all very hush hush, I don't know.”

“Weird.” Bam finished his food and shoved his plate away. “I'm going to take another look.”

Ape sighed. “Try and resist the temptation to trespass.”

He grinned at her. “Yeah right.”

He ran downstairs to grab jacket, sneakers and his board.

@>*~

Scowling at yet another up-herself old bitch looked down her nose at him, Bam flipped his board up into his hand and growled at her. She squeaked and hurried away but he felt oddly unsatisfied. With a sigh, he walked round one more corner to come face to face with the huge, scary mansion. The Weston Place.

It looked like it had been empty since the early eighties, shabby, decrepit and dark. Paint was peeling off the walls and the wooden frames were all splintered and damp looking. Yup, scary. And not empty because he had seen, had spoken to, a boy.

Unless the guy had been trespassing and that's why he'd seemed so scared, because he'd been caught sneaking around.

Glancing round the street quickly first, Bam hopped over the wall and walked round the back of the house again. The back was a complete contrast to the front. Well, the garden was anyway.

It was beautiful. Carefully tended beds, full of darkly coloured evergreens, wound their way in an intricate pattern through the lawn. Trees, stark and skeletal without their leaves, dotted round the lawn in a circle, small and perfectly formed. It was completely out of place.

Bam absentmindedly picked a leaf, crushed it and brought it up to his face to sniff softly. It was fragrant, as lovely as the garden itself. Someone had obviously put a lot of time, love and effort into it. The boy maybe? So who was he?

Unable to help his curiosity, he leant his board against the wall and walked to the corner he'd seen the other kid at the previous night. There was a shoddy looking door that looked like it was coming off its hinges and Bam couldn't resist. He forced it open and snuck inside.

The atmosphere was dark and gloomy but surprisingly, the place was spotless. He was in a huge kitchen but it was very sparsely decorated. A few cupboards hung doorless on one wall, there was an oven of sorts, a table and chairs and what looked like a tiny, antique fridge.

Bam walked over to have a look inside. It opened with a quiet clink and tiny light came on. Inside was a loaf of wholemeal bread, vegetables, juice and what looked like... eyeliner?

Okay, that was weird. The cupboards were full of strange looking grains, seeds and tins of beans. All gross as far as he was concerned. Who ate that shit?

With a shudder, he moved silently out of the kitchen and found a small sitting room. It was even weirder. One table and chair and one saggy looking armchair. Two of the walls were completely filled with bookshelves that almost seemed to be groaning under the weight of all the books. A couple lay open on the table. The free walls were covered in a scrawl of writing in some odd looking language that he couldn't make any sense of, along with a strange heart symbol dotted everywhere.

Looking round the rest of the floor just revealed huge rooms with furniture all covered in dust sheets. No other part of the house seemed to have been lived in for a while. He frowned and stared at the large, sweeping staircase that led upstairs. He wanted to know more so he swallowed back a mild case of the creeps and headed up.

One side again had all the rooms filled with sheet covered furniture and Bam made his way through room after room trying to find more signs of life.

He opened a door, revealing a bathroom and as he stared at the running bath in shock, another door opened and he caught a glimpse of startled green eyes, a mess of long, dark hair and a pale, slender chest. They both made a noise and then suddenly the guy was gone.

He blinked at the door for a second and then bolted forward. It was locked from the other side. Without thinking, he ran back to the hall and tried the door of the next room. It too was locked.

“Shit.” Bam leant against the wall. He'd probably terrified the boy and he really hadn't meant to. Although breaking in and exploring probably hadn't been the best way to go about it. He knocked softly on the door.

“Hello? I'm sorry, I just wanted to say thanks for last night.” Bam knocked again. “Hello?”

“Go away.” A voice hissed through the key hole. He dropped onto his knees and peered through. He could see a green eye again for a split second and then it was gone and there was a noise like someone falling on the other side. “Ow.”

“Shit.” Bam shook his head. He'd made a real mess of the situation. “Look man, I'm really sorry... I'll just go.” He got up slowly and headed to the stairs. As he looked back, he saw a face peering round the door frame, staring intently at him. He couldn't help a shiver. He'd never seen anyone look at him like that before, a mixture of fear, curiosity and fascination. Managing a small smile, Bam jogged down the stairs and out the back, barely pausing to grab his board in his hurry to get out of there.

It wasn't so much that he was scared, but he had been a little freaked. The place was weird and he'd almost not expected to find anyone there. To see the boy, and half naked at that, had been a total shock. He regretted scaring the guy too, but Bam had never been one to resist temptation and curiosity, he couldn't help that he'd broken in.

Now he was even more intrigued. Why did that guy live all by himself in that horrible old house? Why did everyone think the place was empty? Who was the guy and what was with all the books and the scrawl on the walls?

@>*~

Bam barely had time to think about the old house and the strange boy for the next couple of days. School was hell and he got put in detention twice in a row for goofing off. The evenings were spent with his pals Dico and Dunn and a couple of others, skating and getting completely drunk.

It was great, until Bam had gone over on his ankle, spraining it badly.

He and Dunn were in his room, watching TV, eating and bitching in general. Bam couldn't help moaning about his ankle.

“It's not so bad.”

Bam glared at Dunn from across the room. “How is this not that bad?! I can't fucking skate like this!”

“Chill out man, we can play video games and stuff.”

“Yeah great.” Bam snorted, curling his lip up at his best friend.

“Man, I forget what a fucking bitch you are when you're hurt.” Dunn scowled at him and threw a nacho at him.

“Ah fuck you, at least I don't cry like a big baby.”

“I didn't cry, you whore!”

Bam smirked, “Yeah you did. Cry baby.”

Dunn stood up. “Fuck you Margera, I'm going. I'll see you when you're better.”

“Whatever, dude, fuck you too.” Bam glared at the closing door and then sighed. He really shouldn't alienate his friends when he was already bored as hell. What the hell did he do now. Fucking around with Ape and Phil just didn't seem to appeal and he didn't feel like calling any of his other friends.

Determinedly, Bam forced himself up to his feet, grabbing the stick Dunn had given him to replace the lame crutch from the doctor, for balance. He hobbled slowly out and across town.

He wasn't entirely sure how he managed it, but Bam ended up back at the Weston place. It was getting late and was already quite dark, but Bam decided he wanted to have another look. Even if he had scared the boy the last time.

He eased over the wall and walked as quietly as he could round the back. He stopped to look at the garden, which was slightly eerie in the dark. He was surprised to see a dark figure hunched over one of the flower beds, apparently digging.

From what he could see, the boy was all dressed in black and he could only catch a glimpse of his pale face under his floppy hair. Bam didn't really know what to do. He'd probably scare him again if he said something, or moved. And he didn't want to.

For some reason, Bam wanted to get to know him, not keep scaring the crap out of him. He leaned against the wall and watched in silence, fascinated by the constant motion of the boy's torso as he hovered over the ground, digging and tending to his garden.

Bam had never thought gardening could look so consuming, it had always just been a chore for him, one he invariably got out of by destroying the garden.

Eventually, he stopped and sat up straight, raising his arms over his head to stretch. Bam tilted his head to watch the curve of his spine and bit his lip. Was he ogling a guy? And a freaky one at that who had no idea he was even there. He felt strangely perverted and cleared his throat uncomfortably.

The boy shot to his feet and span round, gaping at him in terror. “You!”

“I, uh, yeah.” Bam shifted, leaning his weight onto his cane. “Shit, I keep doing this, don't I?”

The other kid was eyeing him warily and moving slowly sideways towards the door. “Why are you here?”

“I don't know really.” He moved forward again. The guy had a really strange accent and Bam was even more intrigued. Again the guy jumped and he looked down at the stick he was holding with a heavy sigh.

“If you're going to beat me, please, just get it over with.”

Bam felt his eyes bulge in shock. “What?”

“That's what you're here for, isn't it?”

The boy looked so resigned, so dejected that Bam didn't even know what to say. “I, no. I...”

“Then please, just go away.” He moved cautiously towards the door again and Bam just stayed where he was, not wanting to scare him any more. He was totally confused, why would he think he wanted to beat him up?

“Okay.” Bam hobbled back slightly, forgetting about his ankle momentarily in the face of the boy's expression. With a cry, he lost his footing and fell back.

Biting his lip, he bent his knee so he could rub his ankle, hissing quietly with the pain. A shadow fell over him and he looked up in surprise. The boy was staring down at him, dark hair falling in his face, eyes huge and almost black in the moonlight.

“Are you okay?”

Bam shook his head. “My ankle is screwed.”

“So the cane...”

“Is for walking.” He smiled tentatively.

“Oh.” The boy held out his hand and Bam took it, letting him help him to his feet.

“Thanks.” He took his cane back and leaned heavily on it. “I'm sorry about scaring you all the time.”

“Why do you keep coming here?”

“I don't know.” Bam shifted again and grunted as his ankle complained. “Just curious I guess.”

The boy looked back at him, some of his fear turned into curiosity of his own. “You'd better come inside and sit down.”

“Okay, thanks.” Bam was a little wary, but the guy was so skinny, he could probably take him, even with a bum ankle. “My name's Bam by the way.”

“I'm Ville.”

“Ville? That's a weird name.”

Ville let out a short, sharp laugh. “So says the boy who's named after a Flintstone's character.”

The sarcasm was so unexpected that he snickered out loud. “It's not my real name, man.”

“That's a relief.” Ville held the door open for him and Bam hobbled inside. “Go through to the sitting room. I assume you know where it is.” Ville shot him a look and he flushed, ducking his head in embarrassment.

“Uh yeah, sorry.”

Ville ignored his apology and disappeared upstairs, so he continued onto the sitting room and collapsed onto the armchair with a groan. Ville reappeared a moment later and knelt in front of him.

“Uh dude, what are you doing?”

Ville looked up, green eyes staring at him intensely from under his hair. Bam swallowed hard, an odd fluttering sensation filling his belly, almost like nerves.

“Checking your ankle.”

“Oh... okay.”

Ville took off his sneaker and gently unwrapped the bandage. Bam tried not to look like a pussy and gritted his teeth. Ville mumbled something that sounded like 'butchers' and picked up a tube he'd brought with him. He squirted a clear gel into his hands and carefully rubbed it into his ankle.

It was icy cold and Bam jumped. “Shit, dude, what is that stuff?”

Ville stared up at him, intensifying the odd sensation in his belly, and shook his head. “Arnica.”

“Arnica?” Bam frowned.

“It's good for sprains.”

“Oh.”

Ville stood up and pulled the wooden chair over. “Put your foot up here.”

As Bam complied, Ville disappeared again. “What the fuck?” He was totally bemused.

When he reappeared, Ville was carrying an ice pack and he laid it carefully on his ankle. “Didn't anyone tell you, you need to rest sprains?”

“Yeah, but I get bored easy.”

“You'll get more bored if you permanently damage your ankle and can't ever walk properly again.”

“True.” Bam nodded slowly. In his impatience he'd never really thought about it. Ville leaned against the table and stared at him silently. Feeling a little uncomfortable under the intense scrutiny, he shifted and tried to think of something to say other than constant apologies for scaring him.

“So... Ville huh? Where's that from?” Bam resisted cringing, it sounded so lame.

“It's Finnish.”

Racking his brain, he tried to remember some geography. “Finland right? That's like Northern Europe or something.”

“Yes.” Ville didn't quite smirk.

“You're Finnish?”

Ville did smirk this time. “Yes.”

Bam wasn't sure why but he felt extremely defensive. “Hey man, I'm not stupid okay? I'm just not big into studying.”

“I didn't mean to imply you were stupid.” Ville frowned, speaking slowly, uncertainly. “You're the first person who's known that.”

“Oh.” Bam looked down, then up again and nearly gasped at the intense sorrow he could see in the green eyes still fixed on him. “Oh hey it's cool, I get a little paranoid about that sometimes that's all.”

Ville nodded slowly but didn't say anything and didn't look away. Bam was starting to feel a little light headed and he swallowed hard. This guy was really weird but there was something about him, something that made him want to stay despite his discomfort.

“So how come you're living here then?”

Ville finally looked away, ducking his head against his shoulder, face hidden by his hair. “We had to leave.”

“We?” Bam was even more curious now.

“My mother and me.” Ville started to rock slightly and Bam almost felt frightened. He lifted his foot off the chair and forced himself upright, reaching for his cane for support. Carefully he shifted over to Ville's side and hesitantly reached out to grasp a shoulder. Ville flinched violently away from his touch, almost knocking him over.

“Jeez man, are you okay? I didn't mean to...”

“I'm fine.” Ville stepped a bit further back and Bam's stomach dropped. “Maybe you should go.”

He didn't want to go, he wanted to know what was wrong with Ville, but he nodded. “Okay.” He managed to put the bandage and sneaker back on himself as Ville stayed pressed up against the wall opposite him, not looking at him. “Can I come back?”

Ville's head turned slowly, eyes wide with surprise for a second, before blanking. “I don't know. My mother is sick.”

That was a non-answer that he wasn't going to take. “I can be quiet. Can I come back?”

Smiling for just a moment, Ville shrugged. “Could I stop you?”

“Nope.” Feeling a little more cheerful, Bam shook his head. “I'll see you.” He hobbled out of the house and made his way slowly back home.

All the while Bam contemplated his strange feelings, the fluttering he felt when Ville looked at him, the distress he'd felt when Ville had withdrawn. It was strange. But the Finn fascinated him and he wanted to know all about him, why they'd moved, why they lived in that decrepit old house, whether his mother really was ill and why didn't Ville go to school. So many questions.

@>*~

His mood with his friends hadn't improved and Bam found himself left alone after yet another argument this time involving Dico and Raab as well as Dunn. But this time, he didn't care as much; it was just normal bitching with them, plus it meant he could go and see Ville.

It was weird how he hadn't been able to stop thinking about the dark-haired boy, and that he hadn't told anyone about him.

This time, he managed to walk without the cane. Bam didn't want to make Ville even more skittish than he normally was. As usual, he climbed over the wall and went round the back. The garden was even more beautiful than he remembered and he couldn't help staring for a moment.

Then he pushed open the back door and went inside. He just remembered his promise to be quiet before he shouted for Ville. He'd have to just go and look for him.

Walking through the kitchen, he headed straight for the odd little sitting room. There was even more scrawl on the walls and a whole pile of books on the table. Open in front of them was a notebook with more writing. Partly in what Bam now guessed was Finnish but also in English.

Curiosity overwhelming his conscience, he picked up the notebook. A second later, he heard a noise.

“Don't!” A shape streaked into the room and snatched the notebook from his hands. He jumped in shock and immediately began stuttering out apologies before he'd even registered Ville hovering in the doorway, notepad clutched tightly in his arms.

“Don't say you're sorry.”

Bam blinked. “But I am.”

“If you really were, you wouldn't have tried to look in the first place.” Ville looked angry and a little betrayed.

“I was...”

“Curious?” Ville interrupted him. “Curiosity killed the cat.”

He couldn't stop the laugh that escaped him. “Are you going to kill me?”

Ville's expression shut down and Bam regretted his impulsive behaviour more than at any other time in his life.

“Go home, Bam.” Ville turned and started to walk away.

Heart sinking, Bam started forward but then remembered Ville's flinch the last time he'd touched him. “Ville wait. Please.” The other boy paused and he hurried to the doorway. “I really am sorry. Don't make me go.”

Ville snorted. “Why on earth would you want to stay?”

“Because.” He paused, trying to articulate his feelings in a way that didn't make him sound either like a weirdo or a girl. He couldn't. “I don't know.”

Ville glanced back at him, eyes wide and dark. “Come back when you know and maybe then you won't invade my privacy.”

Wincing at the sharp accusatory tone, he backed up to the kitchen. “Okay, I will. And I'm sorry Ville.”

The Finnish boy didn't reply, he just walked away and Bam swallowed back a sudden feeling of sorrow. He'd hurt Ville's feelings again and it made him feel bad. He hated feeling bad, it made him defensive and angry and by the time he'd climbed over the garden wall to walk home, Bam was angry with Ville. How dare the other boy be so judgemental? How dare he tell him what he should do?

Petulantly, Bam made the decision to never go back.

@>*~

His resolve lasted a grand total of two days. Hanging out with his friends had been great now he could pretty much skate again, but their interaction wasn't quite as fulfilling as it always had been before. It was like a side to him he'd never explored was demanding attention and for some inexplicable reason it was drawn to Ville.

His behaviour and subsequent reaction was making him think too much and he felt uncomfortable with it but it didn't stop him from wanting to go back and make things up with Ville.

So, Friday evening after school, Bam blew off his friends and made his way to the Weston place. After Ville's admonishment about invading his privacy, he went to the back door and knocked, hoping Ville would hear it.

A couple of minutes later, impatience kicked in and he hammered a little louder on the door, then leant his head against it with a sigh. What was he doing?

The door opened without warning and Bam all but fell on Ville. The other boy pushed him back and stared at him in shock.

“I didn't think you'd come back.”

Bam shrugged. “Yeah well, I thought about what you said and you were right.”

Ville contemplated him seriously. “Right about what?”

“About invading your privacy. I was a dick and I shouldn't have done it because I like you and I want us to be friends.”

“Friends?” Ville's expression remained solemn and slightly disbelieving. For a heart pounding moment, Bam thought he was going to have the door slammed in his face. “Well, maybe.” Ville stood aside. “Come in then.”

Bam knew he wasn't completely off the hook but he wanted the chance to prove to Ville he could be a good friend. He squeezed past Ville, ignoring the fluttering that was back in the pit of his stomach and the way he was actually noticing that Ville smelt good. He wanted to be friends with the guy, that was all.

“Sitting room?” Bam didn't want to make any assumptions, but Ville nodded and gestured for him to lead the way. He sat on the wooden chair and Ville almost smiled.

“You can sit in the armchair if you want, you are the guest.”

Bam shrugged, “Yeah, but I kinda invited myself.” He glanced round, noticing a horribly violent looking bit of writing on the wall near the door. He wanted to ask about it but bit his tongue.

“Why did you come back?”

“I told you, I'd like to be friends with you.”

Ville raised an eyebrow. “You must already have friends.”

“Well, yeah.” He nodded, smiling as Ville finally entered the room fully and sat in the armchair.

“So why bother with me?”

Bam winced. Ville's tone wasn't self-pitying, more like raw pain buried heavily under self deprecation and it made him ache for the other boy. What had happened to Ville to make him so... so hurt?

“Because my friends are all just like me, you're not.”

“How do you know?” Ville stared hard at him.

“I don't for sure, I guess.” Bam shrugged again, feeling uncomfortable under the intense green gaze. “You're... unusual. I mean, you write, you garden. Me, I just skate and break stuff.”

“I don't believe you.”

“Huh?” He stared at Ville in surprise.

“I don't believe that's all you do.”

“Why not? I mean, it's not like you know me either.” Bam was feeling defensive again and he wasn't sure why.

Ville sat forward and propped his chin up with his hands, elbows resting on his knees. “Because you wouldn't have come back if that was all there was to you.”

It felt like a compliment so he took it as one, leaning back in his chair with a grin. “Thanks.”

Ville finally smiled back and Bam couldn't help thinking it was a really nice smile. He wanted to make Ville smile all the time. He wondered briefly what that would take.

“Uh.” Inspiration for conversation suddenly ran dry and Bam struggled to think of something to say. “How come I haven't seen you in school?”

“What?” Bam shifted under a slightly derisive look.

“I'm twenty years old.”

Bam stared at Ville in surprise. Okay, so the Finnish boy wasn't that much older than he was, but still, he'd assumed they were the same age.

“Really?”

Ville nodded slowly. “How old are you?”

“Seventeen.” Bam leaned forward and stared at the older boy in fascination. “Did you go to high school here or in Finland?”

Ville looked mildly amused. “My mother waited till I finished school before moving us here. She didn't want to disrupt my studies.” His expression became bitter and Ville looked away, biting hard on his lip.

“Oh.” Bam wasn't quite sure what Ville was upset about. “So, uh, you didn't want to come over here then?”

“It wasn't that.” Ville sighed and shrugged. “I wanted to leave.” The older boy's face shuttered again and Bam guessed he'd managed to hit a nerve. Again. He was beginning to wonder if any subject was safe.

“If you're not in school, do you work?”

“Not exactly.”

Bam frowned. “What does that mean?”

“Why do you ask so many questions?” Ville countered him immediately.

Pouting a little, Bam sat back again and crossed his arms over his chest. “Well, excuse me. I was under the impression that asking questions was how people got to know each other and became friends.”

Ville's eyes widened again, both brows climbing his forehead and Bam sighed.

“Yes, I still want to be your friend. God only knows why.”

Ville smirked. “I do translation and editing for a couple of international companies.”

“Really?” Bam was quite surprised, seeing as he had the impression that Ville never left the mansion.

“Yes. All by post.”

“Ah.” Bam nodded. “Not internet?”

“I don't do computers. I might have to try though. My employers are getting annoyed with me because I haven't got email.”

Feeling excited, Bam leaned forward again, almost reaching out to touch Ville until he saw the other boy's not-quite frightened expression. “I can help you!”

“What?”

“I'm a whizz on computers, I can help you!” Bam was almost bouncing on his chair.

“But I.” Ville shook his head, his hair tumbling into his face. “Why would you... I mean, I couldn't pay you...”

Bam sobered instantly. “Dude.” He frowned at the other boy, feeling an immense amount of sorrow for him. “Have you ever had any friends?”

Ville sprang to his feet so abruptly that Bam nearly fell off his chair. “I don't know what I thinking!”

Bam stared up at the furious Finn in total confusion. He hadn't exactly been tactful but what had he said to generate the anger he could see in Ville's deep green eyes?

“Please leave.”

“But I...”

“Just go!” Ville stalked out of the room without a backwards glance.

Staring after the older boy, Bam suddenly felt himself having to blink back tears. He'd hurt Ville again and it made him feel like shit. Really badly. Would he be given a chance to make up for his big mouth this time?

He made his way out of the mansion regretfully and headed home deep in thought. There had to be something he could do to get Ville back.

It didn't even occur to him that the way he was thinking about the other boy was odd.

@>*~

Over the next couple of weeks, Bam gradually managed, with his friends help, to build a computer and research internet providers Ville could use.

It was the most dedicated he'd been to a project in a very long time, but Bam was determined to make it work. He really wanted to be friends with Ville, really wanted to be able to go back to the mansion.

The tricky part was hiding the real reason he was doing it from his other friends. He felt strangely possessive of Ville, didn't want anyone else to know him, or even about him. Which was stupid, because if anyone needed more friends, it was Ville.

@>*~

Finally, the computer was ready and Bam had managed to get hold of cheap but decent monitor, keyboard and mouse. He wrapped everything up individually, as excited as if he was going to be the one receiving them. He just hoped Ville would give him another chance.

He'd decided to leave the computer outside Ville's house in parts. One piece per day starting with the smallest. Today was the mouse.

Bam snuck over the wall and round the back, checking the garden before slipping over to the back door. He put down the wrapped mouse and knocked on the door before running for it.

His heart was pounding with excitement by the time he got home and he had a hard time getting to sleep, he was too busy wondering if Ville had found the mouse and what he thought of it.

@>*~

The next day, Bam left the keyboard. The day after, the monitor.

The day after that, Bam lugged the tower over and around the back along with a note listing internet providers, an apology and his phone number.

As he lifted his hand to knock, the door opened and Bam stared at Ville in surprise. He cleared his throat.

“Um, hi.”

Ville stared at him solemnly and nodded. “Hello Bam.”

Bam's stomach started fluttering and strangely enough, he realised he'd missed the feeling.

“Is this your idea of an apology?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you even know what you're apologising for?”

“Not exactly.” Bam grimaced worriedly. “I'm not sure what it was I said that upset you, but it's hard getting to know you when everything I say seems to upset you.”

Ville looked bemused. “And yet still you seem to want to try.”

“Yeah.”

“Why?” Ville sounded incredulous.

“I like you.” Bam ventured a hopeful smile.

“Enough to give me a computer?”

Bam grinned. “Enough to build you a computer.”

“You built it?” Ville stepped back and leant against the door.

“Yeah.”

“Oh.” Green eyes focused on Bam again, glistening in the moonlight. Bam cleared his throat again.

“Need some help setting it up?”

“Yes.” Ville moved sideways suddenly and Bam smiled happily, squeezing himself past the more slender boy, enjoying the contact in a way he didn't want to think about.

“Where do you want it?”

“Sitting room.” Ville followed him into the small room where Bam found monitor, keyboard and mouse on the table.

“Have you got an extension cable?”

Ville looked at him blankly for a moment. “Oh, yeah. I'll get it.”

“Cool.” Bam carefully put the tower down on the table and started to hook it all together, rearranging everything so it was positioned in front of the chair. Ville came back with the cord and Bam plugged it all in. With a grin and a grand gesture, he switched everything on.

Ville smiled softly. “I haven't a clue what to do with it, but thank you.”

“Well, I'll help you with that otherwise I wouldn't have gone to the bother of building it for you.” He pointed at the chair. “Now sit.”

Chuckling quietly, Ville did as he was told and sat in front of the computer.

Bam discovered quickly that Ville really didn't have a clue and started right at the beginning. It was fun. He was spending time with Ville and they were managing to steer clear of subjects that upset the Finnish boy. Before he knew it, it was really late and he needed to go home.

Earlier, he'd squashed himself onto the chair with Ville, forgetting the other boy's seeming dislike of being touched. Ville had held himself very stiff for a long time, but had gradually relaxed and Bam had enjoyed the warmth and contact. It wasn't, however, the most comfortable position in the world.

Getting up from the chair, he stretched his arms up, arching his back with a satisfying crack. Straightening up, he caught a strange look in Ville's eyes, one that disappeared instantly but not before it made his belly tighten. He cleared his throat uncertainly.

“I should go.”

Ville nodded, not really looking at him. “Okay.”

“Can I come back?” Bam still wasn't completely sure of his welcome.

There was a pause, long enough to make him fidget uncomfortably, then Ville looked up, part of his face hidden by his hair.

“I'd like that.”

“Cool. We can set up the internet for you if you like?”

“Okay, but I'll definitely need your help with that.”

Bam reached out without thinking and Ville jerked away. It hurt. More than Bam could have guessed.

“Sorry.” He backed up slowly.

“I...” Ville paused. “I wasn't expecting it. You made me jump.”

It wasn't quite true, somehow Bam was certain of that, but he appreciated the attempt to make him feel better. He forced a smile. “Cool. Well, I'll see you then.”

“Okay.”

He could feel Ville's intense gaze on his back as he left the room but he didn't look round; he had a sudden, deep urge to get back to his room and be by himself for a while. He needed to think.

@>*~

Back home, the place was filled with people, his brother's band, a couple of his friends, his parents and his uncle, Vito. There was no way he was getting to his room anytime soon, so, with a resigned sigh, Bam took a running jump and landed on top of Raab and Jess.

“Yeah!” Dunn laughed.

Jess shoved Bam to the floor and leapt on top of him and the whole place degenerated into a mass wrestling match while Ape screamed at them all to be careful.

Eventually, Bam did manage to get to his room, but with Dunn crashing over, it was hard to actually think. He lay in bed, half-listening to his best friend ramble on about school and skating while he wondered about Ville.

What was it about the Finnish boy that made him want to go back? Ville was weird, quiet and nervy. Normally, that would just either bore or annoy him, but Ville was different. He wanted to know everything about him, but especially why he hid away in that house and had been so scared of him.

“Bam, you asleep dude?”

Bam rolled over. “Huh? No.”

“You're just ignoring me then?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Fucker.” Ryan turned onto his stomach. “Ignore this.” He started to snore loudly and Bam laughed.

“Dude, you snore like that anyway.”

“I do not.” Dunn sat up and threw a pillow at him.

“Whatever man, go to sleep. I'm tired.” Bam turned away and tried not to think about anything, especially Ville.

@>*~

After school the next day, Bam headed straight over to Ville's feeling excited again. He was looking forward to spending more time with the other boy, which made him feel a bit girlie, but he didn't care.

He knocked on the back door and leaned against the wall to wait.

“Bam.”

Moving back, he looked up. Ville was leaning out of an upstairs window, hair in his face, his pale shoulders and chest hanging over the window ledge. Bam tried not to stare as his heart stuttered oddly.

“Hey Ville.”

“Go inside, I'll be right down.”

“Okay.” Bam looked away quickly and pushed the door open. The kitchen was, as usual, sparse and clean, but there was something cooking on the stove. He only had a quick look, it smelled healthy and he didn't do healthy. He went into the sitting room and switched everything on. Then he sat down and stared at Ville's notebook which was on the table again.

He itched to pick it up, to the extent that he sat on his hands in an attempt to stop himself. Glancing at the door, he willed Ville to come before he gave into temptation. He couldn't look, he just couldn't see that look in Ville's eyes again.

Getting up again, he went back to the kitchen, trying to distract himself. He looked in the pot and sniffed cautiously.

“It's lentil and vegetable soup.”

Bam jumped. “Dude, don't do that.” He turned round and stared. Ville looked... amazing. His hair was wet and pushed back from his face so Bam could actually see green eyes, high cheekbones, perfect skin and... he was so not thinking those things.

“Do what?” Ville smirked at him.

“Creep up on me like that.” Bam pouted, trying to pretend his heart wasn't pounding and his stomach wasn't tight with nerves.

Ville chuckled and shook his head. “Call it payback.”

He had a point so Bam smiled ruefully. “Okay.”

“Hungry?”

Bam couldn't help a grimace. “Um.”

“Afraid of a little healthy food?”

“Not afraid.” His shoulders straightened at the hint of challenge in Ville's voice. “My mom isn't the best cook.”

Ville smiled. “I am.”

“Oh really.” Bam crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow.

“You'll be joining me for dinner then.”

It wasn't a question and all of a sudden, Bam felt a mix of relaxed, excited and nervous again. “Sure.”

“Good, I'm hungry. Sit.”

Bam raised an eyebrow, but sat at the small table in the corner. He watched Ville put some weird looking spread on a stack of bread and dish out three bowls of soup.

“I'll be right back.” Ville picked up a bowl and a spoon and left the kitchen.

Bam stared after him. He assumed the soup was for Ville's mother. He got up and carried the other two bowls, then the bread over to the table and sat back down, chuckling to himself.

“What?”

Bam smiled up at Ville. “My mom would have a heart attack if she could see me.”

“Try some.” Ville waited expectantly so he picked up his spoon and tried the soup. It was really good.

“Not bad.” He snickered at Ville's snort.

“It's better than that.”

“Fine okay, it's good.” Bam took another mouthful and made an appreciative noise, grinning happily when Ville laughed at him. It made him feel good to make Ville laugh.

They ate in comfortable silence and when they'd finished, Bam actually helped out cleaning up, a first for him.

“So, let's get you hooked up.”

Ville turned to look at him, his expression slightly shocked. “What?”

“The internet.”

“Oh.”

“What did you think I meant?”

Ville shook his head, looking away. “Nothing.”

Bam frowned. “Ville...”

“Nothing, Bam.”

Biting his lip so he didn't push the issue, Bam shrugged. He put his hands in his pockets and looked down, not really sure what to say... or to think.

“Let's uh, let's go then.”

Ville nodded silently, still not looking at him. Bam stood uncomfortably for a moment. What he wanted to do was pat Ville's shoulder or something, but he knew it would make things worse. He turned and walked back to the sitting room.

Ville hovered in the doorway, eyes burning into his back as he hooked the computer to the phone line and installed dial up. It felt weird and a little strained but at least he'd managed not to hurt Ville's feelings or do something stupid.

“Here we go.” He started up internet explorer and got off the chair. Ville didn't move. “Ville, come on, it's ready to go.”

“Okay.” Ville moved slowly into the room and sat at the table.

“Relax man, it's not hard, I promise.” He leaned over to grab the mouse. “See, just click here and we can get started.” Turning his head, he sucked in a surprised breath. Ville's face was barely an inch from his, green eyes wide and a little spacey, lips parted.

Bam stared. His groin felt tight and, as he watched Ville lick his lips nervously, he had an insane urge to close the gap and taste. He straightened abruptly, heart pounding, stomach twisted with nerves and something else he wasn't quite sure about but made him feel uncertain.

“I, uh, you try.”

Ville stared up at him for a moment longer, then turned to the monitor, breathing in harshly.

@>*~

They never quite made it back to the comfortable banter of the early evening, Bam felt too weirded out, even though he was trying to act normal, and Ville was even more quiet than he usually was. After sorting out an email address for Ville, he decided maybe he should head home. He stood up.

“I should go.”

“Okay.”

“I, uh, I guess I'll be back soon.” He backed up slowly. Ville didn't look up at him. He was staring down at the keyboard looking dejected and unhappy and it made Bam feel terrible to leave like this, but he was getting so confused, he needed to get away. “Bye Ville.”

“Goodbye Bam.”

@>*~

Bam had had a restless night and he dragged himself reluctantly from bed after Ape's fourth yell. All he'd been able to think about- and dream about- was Ville. He was reacting so weirdly to the other boy; the way he'd always thought he should react to girls because the way he felt was how his friends had all described as how they felt around girls. But that couldn't be right, could it? Because he wasn't gay... was he?

He was just confused because Ville was kinda beautiful.

He smacked his head hard against his door. He did not just think of Ville as beautiful!

Trying to push all the confusion from his mind, he headed upstairs to the kitchen where his family were all eating.

“There you are.” Ape frowned at him and got up to get him some breakfast.

“Thanks.” Bam sat down tiredly, not registering the looks he was getting. His brother threw some egg at him and he barely reacted, just glaring at Jess.

“Dude, what's wrong with you?” Jess actually sounded concerned and Bam suddenly started laughing. Ape exchanged a worried glance with Phil and he just laughed harder, tears starting to stream down his face.

“Bam? Honey?”

“S-sorry Ape.” He forced himself to calm down. “I've got a lot on my mind, that's all.”

“Do you need to talk?” Phil ventured hesitantly.

“Nah, not really.” He shook his head vigorously. It was not a subject he wanted to go anywhere near with his father.

“Has it got anything to do with you disappearing all the time?”

Bam stared at his brother in surprise. “All the time?” He'd been round to Ville's maybe a handful of times. “I go off on my own sometimes, that's all.” Jess snorted but didn't comment further.

Sighing, he pushed his plate away. He'd lost his appetite.

@>*~

Equally quiet and withdrawn at school as he had been at home, Bam had fielded questions and teasing all day. After a comment about having a secret girlfriend, he decided he couldn't take anymore and he grabbed his skateboard and ditched.

He didn't realise Dunn had gone after him until his best friend grabbed his shoulder when he finally sat down in the park.

“Shit man, you scared the crap outta me.”

Dunn grinned. “Why didn't you tell us you were cutting class?”

“I kinda wanted to be on my own.”

“Oh.” Ryan looked a little hurt so Bam gently punched his shoulder.

“It's cool, man.” He tugged Dunn down onto the bench beside him.

“What's up with you, Bam?” Dunn nudged him. “You're really down. I mean last week you were so pumped about the computer and stuff.”

“I know.” Bam looked at his friend. He desperately needed to talk to someone. “I've been thinking.”

“What about?”

“I've been chatting to this guy on the Tony Hawk's message board. He's, you know, really cool and stuff.”

“So what?” Dunn looked confused.

“He told me he was gay.” Bam didn't dare look at Ryan and the silence was scary.

“Oh.” Dunn shifted beside him. “Well, I mean... if he was cool and stuff before you knew that, isn't he still cool now?”

“Yeah.”

“So does it bother you?”

Bam shrugged. “I don't know.” He sighed. “Would it bother you?”

“What?”

“Like say if I came out.” Bam pressed his lips together and held his breath anxiously.

“Are you saying you're gay?”

“If I was, would it matter?” Bam could hardly get the words out. He'd barely admitted it to himself and here he was telling his best friend. The silence grew and he started to feel sick.

“Not to me.”

He let out a heavy breath of relief. “Really?” He finally looked round and Dunn nodded.

“So, are you?”

“Huh?”

“Gay. Are you?”

“I think so, yeah.”

“You think so.”

“When you see a girl you like, how does it make you feel?”

Dunn frowned in contemplation. “I don't know, man. Kinda nervy, excited, a little sick. That sort of thing I guess.”

“Yeah.” Bam sighed. “I don't feel like that around girls, Ryan.”

“But you do with guys?” Dunn's forehead wrinkled up like he was trying, but failing, to imagine it. Bam almost laughed.

“A guy.”

“Really?” Dunn blinked at him. “Anyone I know?”

Bam did laugh then and shook his head. “No.”

“Will we get to meet him, or is it the internet guy?”

“Naw man, I made that bit up.”

“I knew it!” Dunn pushed him off the bench and Bam laughed louder, lying on his ass. “So?”

“I don't know dude, he's weird and shy and we're only just friends, you know?” He knelt up and leaned his forearms on Dunn's knees. Ryan ruffled his hair affectionately.

“Unrequited love. How romantic.” Dunn clasped his hands together and batted his eyelashes.

“Cut it out man, that's gross.” He yanked at Dunn and they fell over, wrestling like idiots on the ground.

@>*~

Feeling a bit better in general, Bam made his way over to the mansion. He wasn't sure what was going to happen, but despite the unexpected developments, he still wanted to be friends with Ville, find out why he was... well, weird, maybe even bring him out of himself a little.

He jumped over the wall and walked round the back, coming to a halt when he saw the older boy in the garden. Ville hadn't heard him, so Bam took a moment to watch him.

How could he not have realised? He'd been fascinated by Ville from the start, no wonder he'd wanted to be friends with the Finnish boy so much, he was crushing like a girl.

Shaking himself out of it, he took a step forward. “Hey Ville.”

Ville straightened up, wiping sweaty hair from his face. Bam swallowed hard.

“Bam.” Ville nodded his head briefly. “I wasn't sure whether to expect you today.”

“Well, you know.” He rubbed slick palms on his jeans and slowly held out a hand to Ville. “You need a lot of help on that computer.”

Ville stared at his hand for a long time and Bam could barely breathe. Finally, the older boy took it and let Bam help him to his feet. His happiness was only slightly dulled by how quickly Ville snatched his hand away afterwards. It still indicated a level of trust he hadn't been sure would ever develop.

He followed Ville inside, trying not to act too excited, but it wasn't easy.

Ville paused in the hallway. “I'm just going to take a quick shower.”

Bam tried not to picture it. “Okay.” He cleared his throat. “I'll just go online while I wait.”

Ville half-smiled and headed upstairs. Bam watched him for a moment then shook his head, he really had to stop being an idiot. Just because he'd realised he liked Ville was no reason to start acting like a dumb kid.

He went into the sitting room, glancing round as he usually did. There was a bit more writing on the walls but as always, it wasn't in English. Thankfully the notebook was nowhere in sight so he sat down at the table and switched on the computer. He quickly checked his email and tried not to think about Ville being upstairs in the shower.

Without really thinking about it, he went onto Google and typed 'coming out' into the search box. Millions of hits came up and he was so overwhelmed, he closed the whole window.

“Sorry to make you wait.”

Bam practically leapt off the chair, a squeal not quite making out of his throat. He breathed out heavily and looked up at Ville.

“Seems I keep scaring you.”

Bam forced a smile, silently thanking God that Ville hadn't come in a moment earlier. “Well you don't make any noise, I never hear you coming.”

Ville smiled ruefully. “I'm used to being quiet because of my mother.” His tone was a little odd and Bam frowned. He was so curious all the time, it was hard not to blurt out questions.

“How are you?”

Bam blinked, disconcerted by the change in conversation. “Oh um, I'm fine. I skipped school so, you know, that was good.”

“You skipped school?” Ville frowned at him, “Is that a good idea?”

“What are you my mother?” he said in annoyance. “School sucks, besides I had some stuff to work out.”

“Okay.” Ville sounded hurt and Bam rolled his eyes.

“Look, I didn't mean to snap, it's just... I hate school and I didn't really sleep last night.” He dropped his forehead onto the table. “Sorry, okay?” A moment later, a gentle hand just barely stroked his hair and Bam held his breath, biting his lip. He didn't want to spook Ville or break the moment, not when the Finnish boy was actually touching him voluntarily.

“Are you all right?” Ville's voice was soft with concern.

“Sort of.” The hand withdrew and Bam lifted his head regretfully. “I talked to one of my friends and he helped a lot.”

Ville stared down at him. “What do you tell your friends about me?”

“I...” he paused, wondering if it was a good idea to tell the truth. “I don't.”

“Oh.” Ville looked at him blankly and Bam felt his heart start to pound nervously.

“Well, it's just... I didn't know if you'd want me to.” Bam shrugged a shoulder and didn't quite meet Ville's eyes. “And well, I'm selfish, I wanted you to myself.” Ville's eyebrows shot up and he flushed as he realised what he'd said. “I mean, aw man, you know what I mean.”

“You wanted me to yourself.” Ville smirked at him and Bam smiled in relief.

“I can introduce you if you want.”

“No!” Ville shook his head. “I mean, no, thank you. I'd rather nobody else knew I was here.”

“Cool, well, I won't tell anyone.” Bam smiled. “Promise.”

“Thank you.”

Shifting in the chair, he beckoned Ville closer. “Come on, sit down. Time to surf.”

Ville chuckled and sat down. Even though he held himself stiffly away from Bam, it was progress and it made him smile.

@>*~

Over the next couple of weeks, Bam spent most of his free time with Ville. It was fun and most of the time, Bam managed to keep his foot out of his mouth and not upset the older boy. He really enjoyed spending time with Ville, even though, in many ways, they had little in common. But that time had only deepened the attraction he'd felt for the Finnish boy.

He was mostly okay with it though. Their friendship had progressed and Ville was almost comfortable in his presence. Although Bam still didn't know much about Ville's past, his mother or why they'd left Finland. In fact he still hadn't seen or heard any evidence that Ville's mother existed- even though Ville would go check on her or take her food sometimes- which freaked him out a bit. But he liked Ville too much to let it keep him away.

Ville had progressed on the computer to the extent that they'd started instant messaging each other when Bam was at home. He hadn't realised quite how much time he'd been spending with Ville however, until one day he got home and four of his closest friends were waiting for him.

Bam stood in the doorway of his bedroom. “Hey guys, what's up?”

“What's up?” Raab raised an eyebrow, “You're what's up, man.”

“What do you mean?”

“When's the last time we hung out?”

“When's the last time you skated?”

“Guys, come on, it hasn't been long.” He shook his head and went to sit at his desk, switching on the computer automatically.

“Three weeks, dude.”

Bam stared at Dunn in surprise. “What?”

“It's been three weeks and we hardly even see you in school.”

“Oh.” Bam sat back in his chair, barely glancing at the screen when MSN messenger popped up. “Really?” He tried to think back.

RazorbladeKiss: Hi Bam

“Three weeks?” Dunn, Dico, Raab and Novak all nodded.

“Look man,“ Dico sat up, “If you're screwing some bitch, that's cool, but you don't ditch your friends, you know?”

RazorbladeKiss: Bam?

“I'm not screwing 'some bitch'.” Bam glared at his friend. “I've been distracted, that's all.”

“By RazorbladeKiss?”

Bam stared at Raab in shock. “Huh?”

“RazorbladeKiss. On messenger.” Raab pointed to the screen. Bam looked round and realised Ville was trying to talk to him.

SkaterBam: Sorry

RazorbladeKiss: You okay?

SkaterBam: Yeah got friends round, was distracted

RazorbladeKiss: Oh

RazorbladeKiss: oh okay, I'll go

SkaterBam: No, wait, I won't be long

“Bam!”

He straightened up in surprise.

“Dude, seriously, what is your problem?” Dunn looked worried.

“You know what we talked about before?”

Dunn's brow creased for a moment, then he nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

“That.”

Dunn cocked his head to the side. “Oh.” He took a long, deep breath, “That's no reason to start ignoring us.”

“What?” The others looked confused.

“Yeah man, what are you two talking about?”

“It's nothing.”

“Okay guys, you're right and I'm sorry.” He fiddled with the seam of his jeans. “I got carried away and I didn't realise it had been so long. It won't happen again.”

“Good. Now come on, we're going out.”

Raab grinned. “Yeah and we ain't taking no for an answer.”

Bam laughed. “Okay fine. Hang on a second.”

SkaterBam: Hey, sorry, I'm being dragged out

RazorbladeKiss: Okay

SkaterBam: See you tomorrow?

RazorbladeKiss: okay

Bam frowned, he didn't want to hurt Ville's feelings but he did want to spend some time with his other friends now he'd realised how long it had been.

SkaterBam: You okay?

RazorbladeKiss: Of course

SkaterBam: Cool, see you

RazorbladeKiss: Bye

He sighed and signed off.

“So who's that?”

Bam glanced at Dico and shrugged. “Just a friend.”

“Anyone we know?”

“Don't think so.” He stood up. “So where are we going?”

“Mike's.”

@>*~

A few hours and several beers later, the five of them were wandering through the streets, practising grinds and jumps off random walls and bits of sidewalk.

“Hey guys, I've got an idea.” Dico stopped in the street.

“What?”

“Let's check out that mansion place off Fifth. It's supposed to be haunted.”

Bam stiffened. “I don't think that's a good idea.”

“Are you chicken or something?”

“No.” Bam glared at Raab. “I just think it's a dumb idea.”

“It's a great idea, man, come on.” Dunn nudged him. “It'll be fun.”

“It'll be lame.” How was he going to persuade four drunken idiots not to check out a 'haunted' mansion. He couldn't let them go and definitely couldn't go with them, Ville would hate him. “It's stupid, it's just a stupid house.”

“Fine, don't go then, party-pooper.”

“Guys, seriously, come on.” He tried again. “Let's just go back to mine and play video games.”

“That's boring, dude.”

“Do what you want, Bam, we're all going whether you're in or not.”

Bam stood in the middle of the road, staring after his friends as they walked away. He bit his lip.

“Shit.” Picking up his board, he turned and ran. He knew a quicker way to get to the Weston place.

@>*~

Bam ran straight to the back and forced the door. He didn't have time to knock. Ville was nowhere downstairs, so he climbed the stairs for the first time since he'd originally broken in. He headed for the room next to the bathroom, which he assumed belonged to Ville, and quietly opened the door.

The room was dark, but enough light filtered in from the street for him to see the bed and Ville's dark hair fanned out on the pillow. Bam paused for a second, trying not to think about the fact that he was in Ville's room. He leaned his board against the wall and climbed over the older boy.

Ville stirred and Bam quickly put a hand over his mouth. Ville's eyes shot open and he started to struggle, screaming against his hand.

“Ville, it's me.” Bam was shocked by the reaction, but he didn't have time to apologise or ask if Ville was okay. He let go and Ville stared at him, breathing harshly, eyes wide and dark with terror that was rapidly turning into anger.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

“We have a problem.”

“What?!” Ville sounded furious.

“Just listen, please. My friends decided it would be a great idea to explore the haunted mansion tonight.” Bam sighed. “I tried to talk them out of it, I swear, but they wouldn't listen.”

Ville glared at him. “Get off me.” His voice was strained and choked and Bam looked down, suddenly realising he was basically straddling the other boy and holding him down.

“Shit, sorry.” Bam sat on the bed next to Ville and tried to adjust himself discretely, his pants had become a little too small. “I just, I didn't know what to do. I needed to warn you, you know?”

“Don't you ever do that to me again.” Ville pushed him further back. “Ever!” Bam pressed his lips together to stop them from trembling, Ville's tone shocking him to the point of sudden tears. “I'm sorry.”

Ville sighed. “I know, just... I know.” There was silence for a moment. “Did you come in the back?” Bam nodded trying to control himself.

“Okay, give me a minute please.”

“What?” Bam was confused.

“I sleep naked.”

Bam swallowed hard, a tingle of lust went straight down his spine and his dick hardened even more. He desperately tried not to look down. “Oh.” He sounded squeaky, so he cleared his throat and tried again. “Oh right.” He stood up and and went to face the door. “Sorry.”

“Stop apologising.”

A moment later, Ville reached round him and opened the door. “Come with me.” He locked the door behind him and walked down the corridor. At the end was one door and Ville opened it. It was pitch black inside. “Wait here.”

Bam hovered in the doorway. He couldn't see a thing inside the room. Ville reappeared in front of him and he jumped. The Finnish boy locked the door and tugged a tapestry down in front of it, completely hiding it from view.

“What about downstairs?”

Ville just gave him a look and walked past him. He followed meekly. He felt terrible, guilty about his friends, guilty about the way he'd scared Ville, really guilty that he couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Ville had been naked under the sheet while Bam had been straddling him, which had left him hard since the older boy had told him.

Downstairs, Ville shut the sitting room door and locked it. He motioned to Bam. “Help me move this.” He pointed at a bookshelf and he helped him slide it in front of the sitting room door. Then they went into the kitchen. Ville draped sheets over the fridge and table as Bam heard a loud laugh outside.

“Shit, they're here.” He turned to Ville. “Now what?”

Ville smiled unpleasantly. “Now, we scare them.”

Bam shivered at his tone, but couldn't help a grin at the thought of scaring his friends. He heard the front door rattle and hoped they wouldn't break it down.

Ville tilted his head. “Upstairs.” Nodding, he followed the other boy back to his room. Ville unlocked the door again and they went inside and Ville relocked it.

“How are we going to scare them?”

Ville went round his bed and knelt down. “Come here.” Bam walked round to stand behind him. In the floor was an air vent and Ville grinned up at him. “Goes all through the house.”

“Cool.”

Ville lay on the floor and put his ear to the vent. “I can hear them.”

Stomach fluttering just a little, he lay down next to Ville and listened. He could hear his friends laughing and he cringed. It was not the impression of his friends he wanted Ville to have. They lay there for what seemed like ages, then suddenly, Ville made a deep groaning noise.

Bam jumped and looked at him. “Dude.”

Ville put a finger to his lips and Bam realised that his friends had gone quiet. Then, quite clearly, he heard Raab.

“What the fuck was that?”

Bam covered his mouth trying not to laugh out loud. Ville poked him in the side and he squealed, much to his embarrassment. Ville smirked and through the vent, Bam heard someone else exclaim loudly.

“Dude!”

He grinned at Ville. They listened for a few more minutes, waiting till his friends started getting loud again. Ville moaned, a long, wavering sound that sent a shiver down Bam's spine. His friends went quiet again.

“Man, this place is creepy.”

“Yeah.”

Bam snickered, this was pretty fun. He reached over and dug his fingers into Ville's ribs. Ville screeched loudly and rolled away, staring at him with wide, accusatory eyes. Bam raised an eyebrow.

“Payback.”

Ville's eyes narrowed and he pouted. “Paskiainen.”

“Hey.” Bam pouted right back. “No fair saying things I can't understand.” Ville just smirked at him. Bam realised he couldn't hear his friends at all. “Have they gone.”

Ville shook his head and rolled back over to listen at the vent. Straining, he could make out whispers but he couldn't hear what they were saying.

“Shit.”

Bam looked up. “What?”

“They're coming upstairs.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.” Ville stood up. “Usually that's enough. Are they drunk?”

“Yeah.” Bam grimaced.

“Are you?” Ville was frowning at him.

“No.”

“Why not?” The older boy stared down at him, his expression indecipherable.

“Because I only had a few and running here as fast as I could sobered me up pretty good. Why?” Bam felt defensive again. He hadn't felt like that with Ville for a while.

“I just don't like alcohol...” Ville looked away, “It changes people.”

Bam grimaced. Too much was happening that night, he needed time to think things through. He wanted to ask Ville so many things and he just couldn't, which made it all harder. “I'm not drunk.” He hoped it would reassure the older boy. “Honest.”

Ville chewed on his lips, then finally nodded. “Come on.” He pressed a panel in the wall and it slid aside revealing a small cupboard behind it. “I hope you're not claustrophobic.”

Bam shook his head and climbed in next to Ville. It was tight and they were practically sitting on top of each other when Ville slid the panel shut. He tried not to think about it, but it was hard when the other boy was pressed up against him, warm breath tickling his neck.

“Do you have to do this a lot?”

“Not really.” Ville sighed. “If people do break in, a few noises usually scares them off.”

“What about your stuff?”

“I've had stuff trashed, which is why I only use two rooms.”

“Oh man, that sucks.” Bam tried to twist slightly so he was facing Ville. “But this panel?”

“If noises don't put them off, I have to hide.” Ville's whisper was strained and bitter and suddenly Bam wondered if this had anything to do with why Ville had expected Bam to beat him up. It made him feel a mixture of furious and guilty and he wanted to go and tell his friends to go and fuck off out of the house.

“I'm so sorry.” Bam breathed out and turned his head a bit more, wishing he could see Ville. His nose and mouth brushed against smooth skin and they both gasped.

At that exact moment, Ville's door rattled and Bam froze, his lips pressed to Ville's cheek.

“This one's locked.”

“So force it.”

“No, man, looking round is okay, but we shouldn't break anything.” Bam smiled at the fact that Dunn was being a bit sensible, and Ville sighed.

“What are you doing?”

“I'm sorry, Ville.” Bam pressed a kiss to the older boy's face and shifted away again, hoping Ville wouldn't have noticed. He licked his lips and tried to ignore the growing ache at his crotch.

“I'm forcing it.”

“Raab!”

There was a splintering noise and they both froze.

“Aw man, it's just another empty room.”

“I told you.” Dunn snorted loudly. “Come on, let's go, this place is weird.”

“Yeah, okay man.”

Bam breathed out slowly in relief as his friends left the room. They waited for several minutes before Ville finally slid the panel open. Bam crawled out and helped Ville out and to his feet.

“You kissed me.”

Bam cleared his throat. “I, uh, didn't mean to.”

Ville stared at him for a moment then dropped his gaze. Bam shuffled his feet. He needed to do something to relieve the constant pressure at his crotch.

“Well, I'm tired.”

“Right.” Bam felt incredibly awkward. “I guess I should go.”

“Thank you for warning me.”

“You're welcome.” Bam half-smiled and shoved his hands into his pockets. “So I'll uh, see you tomorrow?”

“If you want.”

“Why wouldn't I?”

“You've been spending a lot of time here.” Ville went and sat on the edge of the bed.

Bam sat down next to him. “Yeah, because I like spending time with you.”

“What about your friends?”

“I don't know.” Bam shrugged. “I'll work it out.”

Ville shot him a sideways glance. “You don't have to.”

“Yes I do.” Bam huffed in frustration. “Would you stop with all that.”

“What?”

“Acting like you're not worth friends.” Bam put his arm tentatively round Ville's shoulders. The older boy stiffened but he didn't let go. “I think you are. You're my friend too, okay?”

Smiling ruefully, Ville nodded. “Okay.” He relaxed and put his head on his shoulder and Bam tried not to embarrass himself by reacting to the feel of Ville's warm body against his in a situation that wasn't forced like in the cupboard.

Reluctantly, he pulled away. He really did have to get home. “I should go.”

“Okay. See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah.” Bam stood up. He picked up his skateboard and waved before he headed home.

@>*~

“Hey Bam.”

Bam just managed not to jump. What was it with people creeping up on him lately?

“God, Ryan!” He frowned at his best friend. “What are you doing here?”

“I saw your board.”

Bam's heartrate spiked. “What?”

“At the Weston place, dude, I saw your board.”

“Nah, man, couldn't have been mine...”

“I know your board, Bam.” Dunn's tone was harsh. “What the fuck were you doing there?”

“Nothing.” Bam crossed his arms over his chest defensively.

“Was it you making those noises?”

It was a possible way of keeping Ville out of it and Bam jumped at it. “Maybe. What of it?”

“We went all over that place, you were not there.”

“I was hiding.”

Dunn raised an eyebrow. “Hiding.”

Bam lifted his chin defiantly. “Yeah.”

“How can you possibly know that place well enough to hide like that?”

“I...” Bam swallowed and tried to think.

“That's where you go, isn't it?” Bam's eyes widened and he shook his head, but Dunn just nodded. “That's where you go when you disappear.” Dunn's expression turned to surprise. “Does your guy live there?”

“He's not my guy.”

“Hey.” Dunn's concerned tone made Bam look at him. “You really like him, don't you?”

He sat down next to his friend with a heavy sigh. “Yeah.”

“Ah Bam.” Dunn put an arm round his shoulders. “I'm sorry dude.”

“Yeah.”

“So, does he live there?”

Bam sighed again. “Yes okay, but you can't tell anyone, Ryan, I mean it.”

“I won't tell, jeez Bam, you know that.” Dunn punched him on the shoulder. “Why didn't you just tell me?”

“I promised him I wouldn't.”

“You went to warn him we were coming, didn't you?”

“Yeah. He's really... I don't know, I think some bad shit happened to him, he doesn't really like people.”

Dunn lay back on the bed and frowned at him. “He must really like you then, considering how much time you spend with him.”

“I guess.” Bam gestured helplessly. “The first couple of times I managed to upset him so bad, I stopped asking him stuff about his past. That helped.”

“Man, are you sure it's a good idea trying to get close to someone like that?”

“Like what?”

Dunn shrugged. “He lives on his own, hidden away in a huge empty house, doesn't like people, gets upset if you ask him personal stuff... doesn't sound normal to me.”

“So what's normal?” Bam felt angry with his friend and defensive about Ville. “It's too late anyway, Ryan.”

“What?”

“I, I think I'm falling in love with him.”

Dunn sat up and put an arm round him. “Jesus, Bam, are you sure?”

Bam leaned into his friend, needing to feel a sense of support. “Yeah.”

Dunn's grip tightened around him. “Dude.”

@>*~

Ryan stayed the night in the end, sleeping on the bed with him, much to his surprise. But he was too grateful that his best friend wasn't uncomfortable with him to say anything. It made him feel better.

They got up at the same time and Dunn gave him a silent hug before they trailed into the kitchen for breakfast.

“Oh hi, Ryan.” Ape smiled at them.

“Hey Ape, Phil.”

“I didn't realise you'd stayed over.”

“I hadn't planned to but we were talking, you know?”

“Talk? Bam?” Jess started to laugh.

“Hey!” Bam threw a piece of toast at his brother. “Fuck you!”

“Language!” Ape smacked them both round the back of the head. “Are you feeling better Bam?”

“Not now, no.” Bam pulled a face and rubbed the back of his head.

Ape smirked. “Ryan?”

“He'll be okay.”

Bam glared at both of them. “Leave me alone.”

“You home tonight?”

“Not till late.” Bam stared defiantly at all of them.

“Okay dear, just be careful.”

Bam was a little surprised that his mother didn't nag him more. Dunn winked at him and he grinned.

“You're such a pair of fucking faggots.”

Bam slowly twisted his head to stare at his brother in shock. “What did you say?”

“I said,” Jess smirked at him, “You're a pair of fags.”

Dunn grabbed him before he could launch himself at his brother.

“You piece of shit!” Bam struggled against his friend.

“Bam stop it, Jess I can't believe you.” Ape stood between her sons.

“What?” Jess stared, “Dude come on, it was just shit talk.”

“Don't you ever use those words as insults ever again, you got me?” Dunn let him go and Bam straightened his clothes, still glaring at his brother. “You. Got. Me?”

“Okay man, jeez. Touchy.”

With a snort, Bam turned and stalked out of the house. He'd never been so angry in his entire life and he shook Dunn's hand off him when his friend tried to stop him.

“Bam, come on, he didn't mean it.”

“I know and that makes it worse. People just throw these words around like it's okay to use being gay as an insult. Well it's not okay, Ryan.”

“I know.”

Bam stopped finally and sighed, “Sorry dude.”

“That's okay.” Dunn smiled at him. “Come on, let's grab the guys and ditch school.”

“Cool.”

@>*~

After a day skating with his friends, Bam was feeling pretty good and really looking forward to seeing Ville. With Dunn's help he got the others off his back about leaving them and skated down to Fifth.

He jumped over the wall and walked round to the back where he stopped and frowned at the state of the garden. Ville was standing in the centre, head bowed, shoulders shaking.

“Ah shit.” Bam dropped his board and ran over. “Ville?”

Ville twisted round. His eyes were puffy and red, tears streamed down his face. Tentatively, Bam reached out for the older boy then suddenly, he had his arms full of a sobbing Ville. He held on tight and stroked soft, dark hair just letting Ville cry while he looked round. The garden was pretty trashed, it looked like his friends had trampled all through it.

“I'm so sorry, Ville.” He pressed a gentle kiss to his friend's hair. “Can I do anything?”

Ville sniffed loudly and lifted his head. “You kissed me. Again.”

Bam suddenly felt very nervous. “Yeah.”

Ville stepped back and stared at him, a confused frown on his face. “Why?”

“I...” Bam lifted a shoulder. “Because I wanted to make you feel better.”

“You thought that would make me feel better?”

“I don't know.” He looked down. “It felt like the right thing to do.”

“Bam, what?” Ville sounded confused.

“Ville, you're my friend, I just...”

“You kiss your other friends?” Ville's breath hitched softly and Bam winced.

“No.”

“Then why kiss me?”

“Because I...” he swallowed, trying to think. “I don't know.”

“You don't know.” Ville's voice was flat and his eyes went dark. Bam had a bad feeling he'd managed to hurt Ville's feelings again and he started to babble.

“It's just, you were hurt and I felt so bad, because my friends did it and you were crying and I really, really like you and...”

And Ville kissed him, soft lips pressed hard against his mouth. Bam could barely breathe, could barely take in what was happening except that it was amazing.

Until Ville yanked himself back and gasped.

“Ville?” Bam sucked in a breath and licked his lips. The older boy started to back up, shaking his head frantically. “Ville!” He grabbed Ville before he could bolt.

“No, no, no. I can't, I can't.” Ville struggled, his whole body trembling. Bam pulled Ville back into his arms and held on tight. Ville was crying out in Finnish, his tone so full of self-loathing and despair that Bam thought he might cry himself.

“My fault.” Ville suddenly went quiet.

“What?” Ville went limp in his arms and Bam stumbled, barely preventing them both from falling. Instead he lowered them to the ground and wrapped his legs round Ville as well as his arms. “What's your fault?”

Ville shook his head again. “Can't.”

“You can...” Bam bit his lip, “You can tell me anything, Ville.”

“Let me go.”

“What?” Bam jerked back at the whisper. Somehow he knew Ville didn't just mean physically.

“Just go, Bam. I should never have let you keep coming over and now...” Ville stopped abruptly.

“Now what?” Bam wasn't sure he wanted an answer.

Ville extracted himself and stood up. He looked down, hair in his face. “It's too late for me, but it isn't for you, Bam. Go back to your life.”

“But I...” Bam stopped and stared as Ville walked away from him. This wasn't happening. He wasn't even entirely sure what was happening.

The door closed behind Ville with an ominous finality and Bam knelt in the garden, the tears he'd been holding in, flowing freely.

“But it is too late.” Wiping his face, Bam got to his feet. He didn't know what to do. Staring at the house, he was filled with sudden determination. He had nothing to lose now anyway, so maybe it was time to ask Ville the questions he'd been holding back on all this time.

He forced the back door and headed inside. Ville wasn't downstairs so he went up. Ville wasn't in his room either and Bam checked the panel to be sure. That left one room. The one at the end of the corridor and Bam approached it nervously.

The door was slightly ajar and he stopped. He could hear Ville crying inside and a woman's voice, so he moved a little closer and listened.

“It wasn't your fault, baby, you know that.”

“Yes it was. If I'd been normal... Jesse would still be alive.”

“You don't know that, Ville. Please, you've got to stop blaming yourself, what your brother did was his choice and nobody else's.”

“But he...”

“I know darling, I know. But you are who you are and there's nothing wrong with that.”

“Dad said I was sick.”

“I know what your father said.“ Bam shivered at the bitter anger in Ville's mother's voice. “He was wrong.”

“But...”

“He was wrong, Ville. You are not sick, it's not wrong, it's just who you are and I love you.”

“I love you too, Mom.”

“So, tell me what happened.”

There was a long pause. “I kissed Bam.”

“Is that bad?”

“Yes!”

“Why?”

“Because I infected him.”

“Ville.” Ville's mother sighed. “Did you ever think that maybe he just likes you?”

“Why would he?”

Bam couldn't take anymore. He knocked on the door and slowly pushed it open. Ville was lying on a bed, curled up beside a tiny, frail looking woman.

“Bam! What are you doing here?”

“I want to know.” Bam smiled at Ville's mother apologetically. “I want to know why you told me to leave.”

“Curious?” Ville almost spat at him.

“No.” Bam shook his head. “I care about you and I don't want to go.”

“You have to.”

“No.”

“Ville. Enough of this, just talk to him.”

“But Mom.”

“Talk to him, Ville. You can't keep running away.”

Bam smiled gratefully at Ville's mother and she smiled back gently. Ville got up slowly and walked over. He glanced back at the bed.

“Will you be okay, Mom?”

“Yes. Now please go and talk.”

Ville nodded and closed the door behind him. He led Bam silently downstairs to the sitting room and they both sat down, staring at each other.

“What happened in Finland, Ville?”

Ville flinched. “Everything.”

“Explain it to me.” Bam sat forward and took Ville's hand, ignoring the other boy's attempts to extract himself from his grip.

“Fine. You want to know? I killed my brother and my father, you happy now?”

“No.” Bam squeezed Ville's hand. “Tell me about it.”

Ville's eyes welled with tears. “When I was sixteen, we moved away from my hometown. I was really lonely until I met a boy called Janne. I really liked him and it seemed he liked me.” His breath hitched.

“Then, one day, my brother, Jesse, caught us together. He went ballistic, beat the crap out of me. Janne just ran away. Then Jesse went out and got drunk. He told everyone I was a...” Ville stopped for a moment, blinking rapidly and Bam stroked the back of his hand.

“He told everyone that I was a filthy fag whore.”

Bam's heart clenched with sorrow and anger. “Oh God, Ville.”

“He died in a car crash on the way home, took a whole family with him.”

“That's not your fault, Ville.”

Ville's eyes fixed him with a glare. “When it all came out, my father went mad, he beat me even more. He said I was sick, dirty, a pervert. Said I wasn't his son.” Ville sobbed quietly and Bam leaned closer, putting an arm round Ville's shoulders. “He nearly killed me. I wish he had.”

“Don't say that!” Bam was horrified. The thought made him want to throw up. “Don't ever say that. You didn't deserve any of that.” Ville started to laugh, a harsh, ugly sound that made Bam want to shake him.

“Stop it.” Bam held on tighter. “Please, Ville, you're scaring me.”

Ville stopped abruptly. “My father beat my Mom half to death too, blaming her, then he hung himself. She never recovered. I was beaten up almost every day at school. Janne turned on me, telling everyone I'd forced him, it didn't matter that he was older, bigger; everyone knew him, I was the stranger. They believed him.”

“Shit, Ville.” Bam wanted to cry again. No wonder Ville was so fucked up, hid himself away from the world. “It wasn't your fault, Ville, none of it.”

“Did you not hear anything I said?” Ville's voice was filled with pain and disbelief.

“All of it, it wasn't your fault and I still care about you.”

“You mustn't say that.”

“Why not? It's true.”

Ville shook his head. “No, you can't, you can still be normal.”

“I've never been normal, Ville. I'm just Bam and I'm falling in love with you.”

“What?”

Bam smiled ruefully. “So you see, it's already too late for me.”

“You mustn't say that!”

“I just did.”

“But Bam, I...”

“You what?” Bam's heart started to pound. “You don't feel the same? Isn't that what you meant by it being too late for you?”

“I can't...”

“Tell me you don't feel the same and I'll go.”

“I don't.”

Bam flinched but held on. “I don't believe you.”

“What do you want from me?” Ville yanked himself back and glared at him.

“I want you to tell me the truth.”

Ville's fists clenched and he made a frustrated noise. “I can't.”

“Do you really want me to go? To never come back?”

“No.”

Bam barely heard the whispered reply but his gut unclenched in relief. “Good, because I don't want to go.”

Ville took a deep breath and lifted his head. “I feel... the same.”

Bam smiled and pulled Ville back into his arms. Ville put his arms round Bam's waist and clung on tightly.

“I don't want to ruin your life.”

“You won't. This is my choice, Ville, I'm gay and I want to be with you. My best friend already knows I'm gay and he's cool with it.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“But what about your family?”

“It'll be all right, Ville, I promise. Not easy, but it'll be all right.” He kissed Ville's hair and pulled him closer.

“I hope so.”

@>*~

They'd stayed in that position for a long time until it had got really late and Bam had reluctantly pulled away. He'd kissed Ville's cheek softly and promised him he'd back the next day.

Then he'd headed home, managing to avoid his family to go straight to his room. He just hoped he could keep his promise to Ville; that everything would be okay.

@>*~

The next morning, Bam went into the kitchen and sat down. His family went quiet and stared at him.

“You cut school.”

“Yeah.”

“Why?” Ape frowned in concern at him.

“Because I wanted to.”

“That's not an answer, now what's wrong?”

“What's wrong?” He laughed. “Everything and nothing.”

Jess poked him. “What does that mean?”

“I met someone. Someone I really like.”

Ape smiled beatifically. “Really? Oh Bam how wonderful. What's her name?”

“His name is Ville.”

There was complete silence except for his brother's muttered, “Whoa.”

Ape cleared his throat. “His name?”

“Yeah.” Bam stared determinedly at the table.

“You're a fa- I mean.” Jess stopped. “You're gay?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh baby, are you sure?”

Bam laughed a little bitterly. “Am I sure? Do you think I would have said anything if I wasn't?”

“I guess not.”

“What's he like?”

Bam looked up at his father in surprise. “What?”

“This Vill, what's he like?”

“It's Ville.” Bam sighed. “He's smart, sweet, beautiful...” He nearly added damaged to the list but that was too personal and he stopped abruptly.

Ape and Phil frowned at him. “Beautiful?”

Bam glared at them defensively. Ville was beautiful. “Yeah.”

“Where did you meet him?”

“I kinda broke into his house.” He shrugged at the look that admission got him.

“You did what?” Ape stood up and started to pace. “Brandon Cole Margera, I swear you'll be the death of me. I mean, what next?”

“So sorry to disappoint you.” Getting up abruptly, he ran out before anyone could stop him. He ran all the way to Dunn's place where he found his best friend skating on the half-pipe they'd built together.

“Hey Bam, what's up?”

“I just came out to my family.”

Dunn fell off his board. “You did?”

“Yeah.”

“How'd it go?”

“Badly.” Bam frowned. “I think.”

“You think?” Dunn got up and walked over to him, grasping his shoulder.

“I kinda ran out in the middle of it.”

“You want me to talk to them?”

“I don't know. Yeah.”

“Okay, I can go now if you want?”

“Please.”

“Bam, you okay?”

Bam shook his head, “Not really.”

“Come with me.”

“No.” Bam shook his head harder. “I'm going to see Ville.”

“Is that his name?”

“Yes.”

“Bam, what's going on?”

“I just need to see him.”

Dunn hugged him. “All right. Shall I come find you there?”

“Yeah okay. But knock round back, don't go inside.”

“Sure.” Dunn hugged him again then left him. Bam sighed and headed to Ville's place.

@>*~

He found Ville in the garden again, digging frantically. Bam went and knelt next to the older boy.

“Can I help?”

Ville stopped digging and looked at him. He smiled tremulously at Bam and nodded.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Pull up the ruined plants for me.”

“Sure.” Bam put an arm round Ville's shoulder and kissed his cheek. Ville flushed lightly and buried his face in Bam's neck. “You okay?”

“I think so.” Ville moved back. “I'll be better when I fix the garden.”

“Well, I'm no gardener, but I'll do what I can.”

“Thank you.”

They worked side by side for a while but Bam knew he had to speak to Ville about what had happened. “Ville?”

“Yes?”

“I need to tell you something.”

Ville stopped digging. “Oh?”

“My friend Ryan, he uh, he knew I was here that night they all came round and he guessed that you live here.”

Pursing his lips, Ville pushed his trowel into the earth. “How did he know about me?”

“I... I sort of talked to him about you when I first realised how I felt about you. I only told him I'd met someone though, I promise.”

Ville sighed a little wistfully. “It must be nice to have someone to talk to.”

“You have me.”

“You're not exactly a friend though.”

“What am I then?”

“I...” Ville contemplated him, “I don't know.”

Feeling a little breathless, Bam leaned closer. “Something... more?”

Ville turned his head so their noses touched. “Are you?”

“I want to be.” Bam was whispering now. They were so close and all he wanted was to kiss the older boy.

A throat cleared loudly behind them and Ville scrambled backwards, staring up at Dunn in horror.

“Ah shit.” Bam sighed. He hadn't managed to get round to telling Ville everything. “Ville, wait, listen.”

“To what? You promised me, Bam.”

“Bad time?”

Bam shot his friend a dirty look. “Ya think?”

“Sorry man.” Dunn turned to Ville. “And he didn't tell me anything, I guessed.”

Ville's eyes flicked back and forth between them both. “Why are you here?”

“To find Bam.” Dunn frowned. “Dude, didn't you tell him?”

Bam sighed, “I was getting there.”

“You were getting somewhere.” Dunn just grinned when Bam glared at him.

“Tell me what?”

Bam held out his hand and waited. Ville stared at his hand for what seemed like ages, then, finally, he reached out and let Bam pull him closer.

“I came out to my family this morning.”

“Bam, why?”

“I had to.”

“It didn't go well?”

Looking down, Bam shrugged. “Actually, I don't know.”

“How can you not know?”

“Because he's an idiot.” Dunn sat down next to them. “Ape was worried sick, dude.”

“Really?”

“She was crying.”

Bam closed his eyes, feeling guilty. “I made her cry?”

“Who's Ape?”

“My Mom.”

“You call her Ape?” Ville sounded shocked.

“It's short for April.” Dunn explained it to Ville.

“Oh.”

Bam opened his eyes again. “Is she okay?”

“She is now she knows you're okay.” Dunn sighed. “She thought she'd really hurt you.”

“She did.”

“She wasn't angry or disappointed about that Bam, it was the fact that you said you broke into Ville's house.”

“Oh.” Bam ducked his head and this time it was Ville who, tentatively, put an arm round him. Bam leaned into him. “What about Phil?”

“He was just worried about you. Jess, well, he's going to take a little time to get used it.”

“Really?” Bam snorted. “You can tell me the truth, Dunn, what did he say?”

“He said he was grossed out and he doesn't know what to think.”

Bam raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “Really? That's all he said?”

“Really.” Dunn nodded. “I think Phil had already talked to him.”

“Is Phil your father?”

“Yeah.”

Ville's expression saddened. “He sounds nice.”

“Oh baby, I'm sorry.” Bam hugged Ville, kissing his temple.

Ville pulled back, looking shocked. “What did you call me?”

Bam's eyes widened nervously and replayed what he'd just said in his head. “Oh I...” He stopped, “It just came out.”

“Uh, I think this is my cue to leave.” Dunn rubbed his hands on his pants and stood up.

Bam dragged his gaze from Ville's face. “Thanks Ryan.”

Dunn smiled and leaned down to ruffle his hair. “See you Bambam. Ville, nice to meet you.”

Looking up, Ville nodded. “You too.” He turned back to Bam. “It just came out?”

“Yeah.” Bam couldn't quite meet Ville's gaze. He wasn't sure if he'd gone too far or not.

“So you didn't really mean it?”

“I meant it. I just didn't mean to say it.” Bam met Ville's eyes and he smiled apologetically.

“Why not?”

“You never make this easy, do you?”

“It isn't easy.”

“I don't know what's okay, Ville, I don't know and I want...” Bam pressed his lips together and closed his eyes. He didn't expect it to be easy, not with Ville's past, but he didn't know what the Finnish boy wanted from him.

“What do you want?”

Warm breath ghosted over his face and Bam opened his eyes, gasping when he realised how close Ville was. He felt like he was drowning in green eyes and replied without thinking. “I want you.”

“You shouldn't.”

Ville moved a little closer and Bam swallowed. “But I do.”

“Oh God, Bam, I don't think I can...”

“Please, Ville.” Bam kissed him very quickly. “Give it a chance.”

Ville made a tiny noise in the back of his throat and closed the gap between them, brushing his lips over Bam's mouth. Relief and happiness flooded Bam's system and he pressed closer. Cupping Ville's cheek, he kissed back tenderly. Ville tasted sweet and he had to pull away before he pushed too far. The older boy's eyes opened and caught Bam's, then Ville slipped a hand into his hair and tugged him forward, swiping Bam's lips with his tongue. A shiver of lust tightened his belly and groin and he groaned, opening to Ville who licked into his mouth with unexpected sensuality.

One kiss was turning him on far too much but Bam couldn't stop now. He knelt up, dragging Ville with him, so he could move even closer, slipping an arm round the slimmer boy's waist. Ville probed deeper, kissing him harder and Bam groaned, hips bucking unconsciously.

“Shit.” Ville pulled back and sucked in gasping breath.

Bam bit back disappointment and licked his lips. “S-sorry. Too much?”

“A little.” Ville caught his bottom lip between his teeth.

Bam had to look away for a moment. Ville looked beautiful; eyes wide and dark, lips a little swollen and reddened. It just made Bam want to kiss him more.

“Bam?”

“I'm sorry.” He looked up again and smiled.

“Really?”

Bam huffed out a laugh. “No, but I won't push, I promise.”

Ville smiled at him and Bam reached out slowly to brush the other boy's hair back, then ran the back of his hand down Ville's cheek. He was being a sap but he was so happy that Ville was opening up, he didn't care.

“Come on.” Ville caught his hand and squeezed it gently. “Let's garden.”

Smiling ruefully, Bam nodded. “Okay.”

@>*~

They spent a quiet morning together, not really speaking, just enjoying each other's company. Eventually though, Ville stopped digging and Bam stopped in relief. He'd never realised how back-breaking gardening was, especially in the winter.

“Are you doing it the same as it was?”

“Mostly. I might change a few of the plants in the beds though. I'm in the mood for something brighter.” He smiled and Bam grinned. It was nice to see Ville smiling more and made him feel good, in a slightly smug way, to think that he had something to do with it.

“Is it a specific design?”

“Yeah.” Ville got to his feet and held out his hand. Bam stood up and took it, letting Ville lead him into the house. They went upstairs to Ville's room, which looked out over the garden. “Take a look.”

Bam looked out and gasped. It was the same strange heart/triangle symbol that was dotted over the sitting room walls. “It's beautiful.” The flowerbeds formed the intertwined heart and triangle over the lawn and the whole thing was encircled by the tiny fruit trees. “What is it?”

“I call it a heartagram. I made it up.” Ville looked slightly embarrassed so Bam slipped an arm round his waist and squeezed him gently.

“I think it's amazing. I always wondered what it was.” Ville glanced at him inquiringly. “Because of the sitting room.”

“Oh.” Ville cleared his throat. “I started drawing on the walls out of frustration after... well everything. I never stopped.”

“Yeah but it's kinda cool. Ape would spit blood if I wrote on my walls.” Bam stopped and thought about it. “Actually that would be pretty cool to see.”

“You want to upset your mother?”

“It's kind of a family tradition.”

“But you were upset about making her cry.”

“I know, but that was different. We don't mess with her to really hurt her, just upset and annoy her.”

Ville looked horrified. “Bam, that's really horrible.”

Bam nearly reacted defensively, nearly snapped at Ville to mind his own business. But then he thought about Ville's mother and how ill and fragile she was. “I guess when you've done something since childhood, you don't really think about it, you know? Me and my brother have always been horrible to her.”

Ville's expression became confused. “But, don't you love her?”

“Of course I do. All families have their quirks, you know?” Ville laughed humourlessly and looked away and Bam winced. “Of course you do. I'm sorry Ville, I meant that as a general statement not a reference to you.”

“I know.” Ville still didn't look at him and Bam held on a little tighter round Ville's waist, leaning in to gently kiss his neck.

“I'm sorry.”

“I know.” Ville leaned into Bam.

“How's your mother?”

“She's fine. Happy that I've found someone.”

“I hope mine is.” Bam cringed at the thought of facing his family again.

“Your friend seemed to think it would be okay.”

“I know. It'll just be weird for a while. I've never actually dated anyone before, so for it to be a guy... it'll be weird.”

“Dating.” Ville stared blankly at him. “Are we?”

“Well, I guess not exactly.” Bam tried not to appear as hurt as he felt. Ville was so confusing sometimes, he still wasn't sure what the Finnish boy wanted. “I would like to go out with you one day though.”

Ville started to shake his head and Bam took his hand. “You don't need to keep hiding yourself away, Ville. Things are different now. Nobody knows you or about your past except me. You can start over.”

Ville's eyes widened in something like wonder. “You think so?”

“Yeah, why not?” Bam smiled encouragingly. “We can do it as slowly as you need to.”

Ville twisted round and wrapped his arms around Bam's neck, leaning in to press an urgent kiss to his mouth. Gripping Ville's waist, Bam kissed back, sliding his tongue into the older boy's mouth with a groan. His dick started to harden just from the taste and feel of the older boy and he pulled Ville up against his body, delving deeper into his mouth.

Ville sucked on his lips, their tongues tangled together as they kissed harder. Bam backed Ville up till he hit the wall and leaned into the slimmer boy, sliding one hand up into dark hair. Ville felt so good; hot, hard body against his, mouths fused together, the taste of him addictive.

Moaning, Ville's hips rocked up against his and Bam gasped at the feel of Ville's cock pushing against his.

“Oh God.” Bam backed away, panting for breath. He didn't know where he'd found the strength to stop, cursed the fact that he had, but he'd promised not to push. Ville stared at him, eyes dark and wild with lust, gulping for air. He was leaning back against the wall, back arched, cock tenting his pants. He was the sexiest thing Bam had ever seen. “Ville.”

Ville focused on him and licked his lips. “You didn't have to stop.”

Bam's cock jerked in his pants. “I don't want to stop.”

“Come here.”

“Ville...” Bam watched Ville slide a hand into his pants and groaned again. “Are you sure?”

“You know you want to.”

Ville's answer was like having a glass of water thrown in his face and he backed off, shaking his head. “Not like this.”

Ville pulled his hand free. “You don't want me.” His expression blanked completely, terrifying Bam.

“I want you so much it scares me.” Bam took a step forward so he was nearly pressed up against Ville again. “But I want you to want it just as much.”

Ville swallowed audibly and ducked his head. “It scares me too.” He sighed. “All of it scares me. How much I want you, doing it, not doing it, losing you.”

“Hey, where does losing me come into it?” Bam frowned at him. “I'm not going to dump you if you don't have sex with me.”

Ville shrugged, still not meeting Bam's gaze. “It was the one of the reasons I had sex with Janne.”

Bam shook his head. He hated Janne for what he'd contributed to Ville's damaged heart. “I'm so sorry that bastard hurt you, Ville, but I'm not like that. Don't you know that yet?”

“Of course I do.” Ville gently stroked Bam's face. “Or I wouldn't have fallen in love with you. I just need some time to get used to it.”

Bam's heart stuttered. “What did you just say?”

Ville looked startled and he made a small shrugging gesture. “I'm in love with you.”

Bam surged forward without a second thought, clasping Ville's hair as he kissed him. It was soft and sweet and Ville whimpered quietly into his mouth. “I love you.”

Ville wrapped his arms back round Bam's neck and pulled him closer and for a moment, they just held each other. Eventually, they pulled apart and Bam grinned at Ville's shy smile.

“Do you want to stay for lunch?”

“I don't know.” Bam winked, “Will it be healthy?”

“Of course.”

“But you'll be making it?”

“Yes.”

“Well I guess that'll be okay.”

Ville pouted at him. “Don't force yourself.”

Laughing, Bam took Ville's hand and led him back downstairs to the kitchen. He sat and watched Ville put together a meal from what looked like birdseed and horsefeed. Ville put a plate in front of him and he tried not to pull a face.

“Try it.”

Bam sighed. “Yes dear.”

Snorting with laughter, Ville disappeared with another plate for his mother and Bam hesitantly tried some of the food. Once again, to his surprise, it was actually really good and he'd already eaten half of it by the time Ville came back down.

“That good huh?” Ville laughed at him and Bam pouted. Sitting opposite him, Ville started to eat his own lunch. “How long can you stay?”

Bam stared at his plate. “I don't know. I don't want to go home but at the same time, I feel like I should face the music.”

“Well.” Ville smiled gently. “You can always stay here until you're ready.”

“Thank you.” Bam reached out and took Ville's hand. “But maybe I should go home.”

“Okay.” Ville looked a little sad but he still smiled.

Bam took the dishes to the sink and washed everything up. Ville leaned against the sink and watched him. Drying his hands first, Bam hooked a finger into Ville's waistband and pulled him close. With a grin, Ville leaned into him and kissed him.

“Talk on IM later?”

“Definitely.”

“I'll let you know how it goes.”

“I... I really hope...” Ville stuttered to a halt, looking a little distressed.

“It'll be fine.” Bam kissed him again and wondered which of them he was trying to reassure. He wished he could suggest that Ville came with him but he knew there was no way his... boyfriend, or his family for that matter, were ready for that. “Later.”

“Bye.”

@>*~

He found his mother and father in the sitting room and paused in the doorway for a moment to watch them. Ape was lying against Phil who had his arm round her. They didn't look happy.

Bam walked in and sat opposite them, surprising them both.

“Oh Bam!” Ape looked like she was ready to cry. “Where have you been, I was so worried.”

“With Ville.” Bam grimaced. “I'm sorry I upset you.”

“You shouldn't have run out like that, Bam.”

“I know, Phil, I was scared, that's all. I mean it's a big deal, right?”

“It's a big deal, Bam.” Ape nodded slowly, “But you're our son and although we'd never choose such a difficult path for you, we'll still love you no matter what.”

Bam felt tears prick his eyes and he looked down quickly. “Phil?”

“We'll always be here for you.”

“Thanks guys.” Bam leaned over and quickly hugged them both.

“When can we meet him?”

“Huh?” Bam stared at his parents in surprise.

“Ville. We'd like to meet him.”

“Oh, I don't know.” Bam started to shake his head. “He's...” He searched for an appropriate explanation without going into detail. “Really, really shy and he's not really used to people.”

“But we're not people, we're your family.” Ape sounded a little insulted.

“Ape, we're not exactly a normal family are we?” Bam pursed his lips ruefully. “He told me I was horrible for trying to deliberately upset you all the time. He's lived almost on his own for two years, do you really think he'd cope with us all together?”

Ape smiled. “I like him already.”

“You'll love him.” Bam smiled at the thought of his boyfriend, then flushed at the looks his parents were giving him. “Just give me some time to work him up to it.”

“Of course we will, dear.”

“Thank you.” Bam started to feel easier in himself. “Where's Jess?”

“In his room, sulking.”

“Great.” Bam stood up and smiled at them. “I guess I better go talk to him.”

“It'll be okay.”

Bam went and knocked on his brother's bedroom door.

“Fuck off.”

Opening the door, Bam leaned against the frame. “Lucky for you I wasn't Ape or Phil.”

Jess flicked a brief look at him and smashed a stick into his drumkit.

“Dude, what's your problem?”

Jess snorted loudly. “What's my problem? You just came out and you want to know what my problem is?”

“It would be a good start.” Bam tried to stay calm. He walked into the room and sat on the bed.

“You're gay.”

“You're repetetive.”

Glaring, Jess turned away from him. “Don't make a joke out of it, Bam, it's not normal.”

“What is everyone's obsession with being normal?” Bam shook his head. “So I'm gay, who cares?”

“Everyone will.”

“Ape and Phil don't, Dunn doesn't...”

“Dunn knows?”

“Yeah.”

“You told Dunn before us?”

Bam shifted uncomfortably. “Well, yeah, when I was still working it all out.”

“Working it out?”

“Yeah.” Bam straightened a leg so he could poke his brother. “It wasn't exactly easy you know, realising it, admitting it.”

“But... gay?”

“I've never liked girls Jess, if you thought about it, you'd realise.” He smiled ruefully. “I'm the same me I've always been... I'm just dating a guy.”

“I don't know, man, I mean, what'll the band think?”

“I don't know.” Bam threw his hands up, “Is that all you're worried about?”

“No.” Jess finally looked at him properly. “Look, you're my brother and I love you. I just need a little time.”

“Fair enough.” Bam stood up. “Don't tell the band anything till I have a chance to tell the guys okay?”

“Sure.”

“Bro?” Bam turned at the door.

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.”

Jess smirked. “Gay!”

“Asshole.” Bam left his brother's room laughing. He felt a lot better now he'd talked to his family. It made him feel more confident about telling his friends.

He picked up the phone and called Dunn. “Hey dude.”

“Hey Bam, how's it going?”

“Good, I just spoke to the family.”

“Cool.”

“Um.”

“Spit it out, Bam.”

“Can you get the guys together, I want to tell them.”

“You sure.”

“Yeah. I have to before Jess blurts it all out to CKY, and then everyone will find out.”

“That's true. Okay, come round to mine.”

“Thanks Ryan.”

“You're welcome.”

@>*~

A little while later and Bam was walking towards several of his friends. Dunn got up and jogged over before he reached them.

“How you feeling?”

Bam swallowed. “Like I'm gonna puke.”

Dunn grinned and clapped his shoulder. “It'll be fine and if it isn't, hey, you still got me.”

“Thanks man.”

“Hey!” Bam and Dunn looked round. “What are you two faggots whispering about?”

“Brandon, shut the fuck up!” Dunn shouted at Dico while grabbing hold of Bam's arm.

“Well, that's a promising start.” Bam pulled his arm free and stalked over to his friends.

“What's your problem, dude?”

“My problem, Dico, is with all the fucking anti-gay derogatory comments.”

“What?” Dico's brow crinkled in confusion.

“All of you need to quit it with that shit.”

“Why?” Dico was still frowning.

“Because Bam's gay dude.” Raab started laughing, obviously thinking he was hilarious. Several of the others joined in.

Bam looked at Dunn. “This is hopeless.”

“Just tell them, Bam.”

“Tell us what?”

“Yeah, dude, what?”

Bam stared down at them all. He felt sick and angry and he wasn't at all sure he could do it.

“Bam, you okay?”

Bam smiled suddenly, focusing on Ville and the fact that he was happy. “Yeah. I'm in love.”

“Dude, I knew you were screwing some chick.”

“We're not screwing and...” He cleared his throat. “There's no chicks involved.”

“Huh?”

“What?”

“Oh my God, you're kidding, right?”

“He's not kidding.” Bam smiled gratefully at Dunn.

“I don't get it.” Raab blinked at him.

“I'm gay.”

Ryan Gee shook his head. “Dude, it's only funny a couple of times.”

“It's never funny, Shitgoose, and I'm not joking.”

“Are you really a fag?”

Bam frowned. “Are you a bigot?”

“I don't even know what that means.”

Dunn crouched down. “Guys, come on, this isn't easy for Bam, you know? He's our friend, how about a bit of support?” Everyone went quiet and Bam shifted nervously.

“You're really okay with it, Dunn?”

“Yeah, why wouldn't I be? I mean, it's Bam.”

“Guys, listen, I know you think it's weird, but I haven't changed. I'm just dating a guy.”

“It's fucking sick.” Rake got up and walked away. It was like a blow to the stomach and Bam sat down heavily.

“Man, come back!” Dunn got up but Bam grabbed his arm.

“Let him go, Dunn.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“So um,” Dico looked uncomfortable. “Who's the guy?”

“Just someone I met.” Bam shrugged. “No one you know.”

“Have you met him, Dunn?”

“Yeah.”

“So, what's he like?”

“Yeah!”

Bam blinked in surprise. His friends were suddenly smiling again and trying to pump Dunn for information about his boyfriend. He smiled happily.

“Well, I don't know.” Dunn shrugged. “He's a guy.”

Raab started to laugh. “That's funny.”

“What's funny?”

“You can't say it.”

“Say what?” Dunn frowned.

“I bet he's cute.”

“Raab!” Dico hit his arm.

Bam snickered. “Of course he is.”

Raab leapt on top of Dico. “Told ya.”

Bam watched the pair wrestle, a lump in his throat. The way it had been going, he'd thought all of his friends would react like Rake, but everything was back to normal, he was accepted, just like that. Typical of his friends really, they were all overly-impulsive and they reacted that way to everything.

“So when do we meet him?”

Bam was startled out of his contemplation. “Huh?”

“Your dude, when do we meet him?”

“Well, that's kind of a problem.”

“Why man, you ashamed of us or something?” Dico looked completely serious.

“No way guys.” Bam shook his head vehemently. “He's... he's shy okay. I think you guys would overwhelm him, that's all.”

“He's shy?” Novak looked disbelieving. “And he's with you?”

“What do you mean, and he's with me?”

“Bam, man, you're a nutjob, how can he be shy and be with you?”

“I don't know.” Bam shrugged. “I guess I, well we...”

Raab laughed again. “Look he's tongue tied! Never thought I'd see the day.”

Ryan Gee stood up and leaned over to ruffle Bam's hair. “You really are in love. You big slush puppy.”

“Ah fuck you.” Bam snorted, pushing his hand away.

“No thanks.” Everyone started to laugh at Shitgoose's deadpan reply. And with that, the subject was over and done and they took turns skating and teasing each other. Bam didn't go home till really late.

@>*~

Bam headed straight for his room. “Hey guys, I'm going to bed!”

Bam skidded to a halt. A dark shape in the sitting room had caught his eye and he backed up to glance in. Sitting next to his mother, a mug clasped tightly between his hands was...

“Ville!” Ville turned, his expression a strange mixture of relief and accusation. “What are you doing here?”

“I was really worried.”

“Why?” Bam was confused.

“It's nearly midnight, Bam, when you didn't IM me I got scared.” He put the mug down and clasped his hands together.

“Ah shit, Ville.” Bam went and sat next to his boyfriend. “I didn't mean it to get so late.”

He couldn't quite believe Ville was actually here, in his house. Talking to his mother. Ville must really have been scared to venture out of the mansion and knowing what the Finnish boy had been through himself and what he must have been thinking made Bam feel terrible. He pulled Ville into a hug and buried his face in his neck.

“I told you he was just thoughtless, Ville.”

“Gee thanks, Ape.” Bam lifted his head and pulled a face at her over Ville's shoulder. He pulled back, holding onto his boyfriend. “How did you find my house?”

“I looked it up and got a map off the internet.”

Bam grinned. “Cool. I'll have to find you a printer.”

“Did you build that computer for Ville?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh honey.”

Bam winced. “Oh shut up.”

“Bam!” Ville sounded shocked.

“Man.” Bam looked down. “Sorry.”

“Ville, you're welcome here whenever you want.”

“Thank you, Mrs Margera.”

“Call me Ape, all the boys do.”

“Oh,” Ville flushed and hid behind his hair, “I c-couldn't.”

“At least call me April, Mrs Margera makes me feel old.”

Ville glanced at him and Bam nodded. “It's cool.”

“Okay... April.”

Bam looked at his watch. “It's really late. Ape can Ville stay over?”

“Sure honey.“ Ape frowned, “No monkey business though.”

Bam flushed. “Ape! Jeez!” She laughed at him. “Can you stay Ville?”

“I... I don't know.” Ville looked torn. “My Mom...”

“Phone her.” Bam's knee started to bounce in anticipation. He wanted Ville to stay. “Please, Ville, it'll be cool.”

“Okay.” Ville got up with Bam. “Thank you for the tea, April.”

“You're welcome, Ville.”

Bam took Ville into the kitchen and showed him where the phone was.

“Hi Mom... yes, I'm fine. Bam asked me to stay over... are you sure you'll be okay?” Ville smiled softly. “The number here is 555-4312 if you need me. Mä rakastan sua.”

“All set?”

Ville nodded and Bam took his hand, leading him down to his bedroom. They sat down and Ville glanced round.

“Cool, huh?”

“Yes.” Ville seemed tense and Bam bit his lip.

“I am sorry if worried you.”

“I know.”

“Ape's right, I can be thoughtless.“ Bam pulled a face, “But I don't mean to be.”

Ville took his hand. “I know, Bam. How did it go?”

“Okay. My brother is... adjusting to the idea. My friends, well once they got over the shock, they were mostly cool.”

“Mostly?”

“Well, Rake, I don't know. He said it was sick and walked away.”

“I'm sorry, Bam.”

“It's cool, I know who my friends are now.” He sighed. “Come on, let's get ready for bed. You can use my toothbrush if you want.”

Ville's eyes widened. “Really?”

“Sure. Why not? We've already swapped spit.”

“Gross.” Ville smacked his arm and Bam laughed.

“You need to borrow any clothes?”

“I sleep in the nude, remember?” Ville smirked evilly at him and Bam swallowed hard, his dick surging at the thought.

“Not unless you want to be ravished in your sleep you won't.”

Ville laughed. “Fine, lend me some shorts or something.”

“You mean you don't want me to ravish you?” Bam clutched at chest melodramatically and Ville laughed louder.

“No monkey business, remember?”

“Right, bring my mother into it.” Bam grimaced. “Thanks.” Ville just grinned. “You can use the bathroom first.” He got up and dug in a drawer, pulling out a pair of boxers. “Here.”

Ville took them. “Thanks.” He disappeared into the bathroom and Bam sat back on the bed to wait, trying not to think about Ville being naked in his bathroom, trying to will his hard-on away. He was never going to get any sleep!

A little while later, Ville came out, neatly folded clothes in his arms. Bam stared. His boyfriend was lovely; all pale, creamy skin and slender lines. The boxers were too big and barely clung to his hips, showing off a thin line of hair leading down to his groin. Bam groaned and looked away, squeezing his thighs together to try and relieve the pressure.

“Bam?”

Bam jumped up and almost pushed past Ville to get to the bathroom.

“Bam!”

He paused in the doorway and glanced back. Ville was frowning, he looked hurt and confused. “I'll be right out, Ville, I just... make yourself comfortable.” He shut the door behind him and leaned against it. How the hell was he supposed to take things slowly with Ville, when the older boy was so god damned sexy? He just wanted to kiss him, touch him... do everything.

He quickly brushed his teeth, wrestled his erection into submission long enough to take a piss and washed his hands and face. He stripped to his boxers, leaving his clothes on the floor like he always did.

His shorts were tented by his dick and Bam was torn. He didn't want to leave Ville out there on his own for too long, but God, he needed some relief. Well... he couldn't go out there with a hard-on.

Decision made, Bam pushed his shorts down round his thighs and leaned over the toilet, bracing one hand on the cistern while he wrapped the other round his dick. Sighing in relief, Bam stroked himself fast, picturing the older boy in his bed. What was Ville doing? Was he thinking about Bam and jacking off?

Bam groaned, tightening his grip. The thought was unbelievably hot. He remembered Ville leaning against the wall of his bedroom, hand down his pants. “Oh fuck.”

“Bam.”

Bam looked up, startled. Ville was standing in the doorway, staring at him. Bam had been so caught up in what he was doing, he hadn't even heard the door open. “Ville, I...”

“Don't stop.” Ville licked his lips, breathing in unsteadily.

Bam squeezed his dick tightly to keep from coming on the spot and groaned quietly. “Oh God, Ville.”

“Don't stop.” Ville shifted so Bam could see that he was just as hard. “I want to watch.”

Bam started to jack himself again, biting his lip. Ville's eyes were burning into him and God, he was so close. Pleasure burned deep in his gut and his balls tightened.

“You're so sexy, Bam.” Suddenly, Ville's hand was in his shorts and Bam could see the motion of him stroking himself rapidly, quickly matching Bam's rhythm. He was beautiful, eyes dark and shining, cheeks flushed, lips parted as he panted quietly.

One more hard stroke and Bam gasped, electricity coursing through him, body shuddering as he came hard.

“Oh Bam.”

He watched in awe and lust as Ville's back arched, face contorting in pleasure, one hand gripped the doorframe tightly.

Bam barely took the time to wipe his hand and pull up his shorts before he was pulling Ville into his arms and kissing him hard. Ville panted into his mouth but kissed back just as hard, teeth nipping Bam's lip before his tongue plunged into his mouth.

Eventually, breathless, they pulled apart, just hanging on to each other until they'd recovered.

“Wow.” Bam eased back and smiled at Ville. “That was...”

“Really...”

“Yeah.” They looked at each other and started to laugh.

“I'm sorry I walked in on you.”

Bam raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”

“Well, no.” Ville flushed, but smiled. “But I did knock.”

“I didn't hear you.”

“I wonder why.”

Bam snorted and kissed Ville's cheek before moving to the sink so he could wash his hands. Then he moved aside so Ville could do the same.

“I can't believe you came in my shorts.”

Ville smiled wider and flushed darker. “I couldn't help it, I wasn't thinking straight.”

“Me either.” Bam smiled and gently pushed Ville out of the bathroom and got on the bed. Ville lay down and curled up on his side. Bam lay on his back, wrapped an arm round Ville and closed his eyes. He felt really good. Almost everything had gone well that day and now, he had Ville in his arms for the whole night.

“Mä rakastan sua.”

Bam twisted his head. He'd heard Ville say that to his mother on the phone. “What does that mean?”

“It means, I love you.”

“Say it again.”

Ville lifted his head and smiled at him. “Mä rakastan sua.”

Bam smiled. “Mä rak...”

“Rakastan sua.”

“Mä rakastan sua.”

“I love you too.”

Bam switched out the light, kissed Ville's forehead and closed his eyes.

@>*~

They were woken by a loud knocking on the door.

“Hey B. get up man, Ape's cooking breakfast.

“Okay, okay, stop banging on the fucking door, asshole!”

“Bite me... second thought, euw, forget I said that.”

“Oh you're hilarious.” He leaned over Ville and kissed his cheek. “Morning. Sorry about the wake up call.”

Ville smiled sleepily and stretched his arms up above his head. “Hyvää huomenta.”

“Is that good morning?”

“Yeah.”

“Finnish is beautiful.”

Ville smiled sadly. “Yes, it is.”

Bam sat up and pulled Ville up with him. “Do you miss it?”

His eyes filling with tears, Ville nodded. “So much.”

Bam scooted round so Ville was sitting between his legs. “What's it like there.”

“Dark, cold, stunning, quiet.” Ville leaned back against him and sighed.

“Why move all the way to the U.S.? Why not just move to another town or something?”

“Mom's American. She wanted to come back.”

“She is?” Bam was surprised.

“Yeah. When she met my... father, she moved to Finland to be with him.”

Bam was starting to understand. “The mansion was your grandfather's place.”

“How'd you know that?”

“Ape mentioned old man Weston having a daughter, I just guessed.”

“He died not long after Mom left, I guess he'd never got round to changing the will because he left the house to her.”

“Why would he change the will?” Bam frowned and leaned round slightly so he could see Ville's face.

“He hated my father.”

“Yeah well, no offence Ville, but I hate your father.”

“Bam!” Ville was on his feet in a split second. “My father died!”

Bam could only think about what Ville's father had said and done to his boyfriend and he grunted. “Good thing too or I'd kill him myself.”

Ville started to shake and he turned, grabbing his clothes and yanking them on hurriedly.

“Ville?” Bam watched him in stunned confusion.

“I can't believe you said that.”

“But Ville...”

“Just shut up.” Ville glared at him.

“He beat you half to death.”

Ville wrenched the bedroom door open and paused in the doorway. “But he was still my father, Bam, and I still loved him.”

Then he was gone and Bam could only stare blankly. With everything that had happened to Ville, he had never considered the possibility that his boyfriend might have still loved his father, mourned and missed him. He sighed.

“Great.”

“Knock, knock.”

Bam raised his gaze to the door. “What?”

“Ville just left in a hurry, everything okay?”

“No.”

Ape came and sat next to him. “What happened?”

“What do you think?” Bam couldn't keep the self-loathing from his voice. “I opened my big, fat mouth.”

“Now, Bam, come on. It can't have been that bad.”

“It's worse.” Bam squeezed his eyes shut and leaned against his mother. “I really fucked up.”

“Oh honey.” Ape put an arm round him. “You're only seventeen, you're allowed to screw up.”

“Not when it hurts Ville. I hate hurting him, he's had enough shit to deal with in his life!”

“You really love him.” Ape sounded a little surprised and that just upset Bam even more.

“Yes I do!”

“Well Bam, I think he really loves you too, so I'm sure you can make it up to him.”

“Ape, I'm serious.”

“So am I.” Ape nudged him gently. “Talk to him, make it up to him.”

“I'm not sure I can.”

Ape patted his cheek. “You men are all the same. Listen to what I'm saying, talk to him, explain, tell him how you feel.”

“Ape! I'm gay, not a girl.”

“Fine, don't listen to me.”

“Okay, already, I'll talk to him.” Bam got up, got dressed and shoved his hands into his pockets. He felt awkward and upset.

“Call me and let me know if you're coming home tonight, okay?”

Bam nodded. “Okay.”

He left his board behind and walked, wanting time to think about what he could say. If Ville would even listen to him of course.

He was so caught up in his worries that he didn't notice the three guys behind him. Until they grabbed him.

@>*~

Everything hurt. Pain danced along his nerves like a sadistic ballerina. With a quiet groan, Bam forced his eyes open. There were three blurred shapes in front of him and Bam blinked, trying to focus. It was Ape, Phil and Dunn and he appeared to be in hospital. So where were Jess and Ville?

“Bam, oh Bam honey, thank God. Jess, go tell the doctor he's waking up!”

“What...”

“Don't talk, baby.”

Bam glared at his mother. He wanted to know what had happened.

“Some guys beat the shit out of you, man.” Dunn spoke quietly, his voice shaking. “You've been out for days.”

“Days?” Bam frowned. If he'd been out for days, where was his boyfriend? Ville wouldn't hold a grudge in the face of this, surely? “Ville?”

“Bam, we...” Ape looked away guiltily.

Phil continued for her. “We forgot about him in the panic.”

“Then when we remembered...”

Bam was getting really upset. How could they have forgotten about Ville? “What?”

“I can't find him, Bam, I'm so sorry.” Dunn sounded upset and guilty and Bam's heart clenched hard in his chest.

What had happened to Ville? Had the guys who'd beaten him done worse to his boyfriend? But then no one knew who his boyfriend was, except his family and Dunn. What if Ville had left altogether?

“Oh God.”

“Everybody out.” A doctor stood in the doorway, Jess hovering anxiously behind him. “Brandon has just woken up, he doesn't need overexciting.”

“We'll come back later, sweetheart.” Ape leaned over him and kissed his forehead. Dunn and Phil both squeezed his hand and they all left the room.

“Well Brandon, how do you feel?”

“Oh just dandy, Doc.” Bam scowled. “Like a fucking train hit me, how do you think I feel?”

“In any pain?”

“Yes.”

“A lot?”

“I'm a skateboarder Doc, what's a lot of pain?”

“All right tough guy, do you want any painkillers or not?”

Chastened, Bam nodded. “That would be good.”

“Okay, now I want you to try and sleep, you need to rest up.”

“No shit. What's the damage?”

“A couple of cracked ribs, fractured arm, contusions, internal bleeding. I'm afraid we had to open you up.”

“Great. Spleen?”

The doctor nodded, looking surprised. “Yes. We managed to save it though.”

“Good.” Bam closed his eyes. It was shit. Everything was shit and most of all, he couldn't stop worrying about Ville. Where was he?

@>*~

“Just leave me alone.”

“Bam.”

“Ape, I'm serious, I can't deal with this shit right now.”

She was quiet for a moment. “Okay honey.”

Finally on his own, Bam turned awkwardly onto his undamaged side and curled up, trying not to cry. He'd sent Dunn back to the mansion, telling him where to look in Ville's room, where Ville's mother's room was. But Ryan had come back looking sad and worried. He'd found nothing and nobody.

Bam wanted to scream in frustration. He wanted to cry, but he was afraid that if he started, he'd never stop.

And he was so fed up with being stuck in his hospital room. Easing himself upright, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed. It took him a moment to stand, but he held onto his drip stand and determinedly walked out of the room. Thankfully his family and various friends were nowhere to be seen and he walked slowly down the corridor, aimlessly, just wanting to get away.

He still hurt all over, but the pain in his heart was the worst and the painkillers he was on couldn't touch it. Bam started to feel tired far too quickly and, just as he was about to turn and head back, he heard something. Stopping where he was, he strained to hear. Someone nearby was singing. He followed the sound and stopped outside a room to listen.

It was the most beautiful thing he'd ever heard and sent a shiver down his spine. When the song came to an end, Bam sighed in disappointment.

“Oh Ville, how beautiful.”

“Thanks Mom.”

Ville? Without thinking, Bam pushed the door open. Sitting by the bed, his mother's hand in his, was his boyfriend. Bam didn't know whether to laugh or cry; happiness, relief and worry threatening to overwhelm him.

“Ville?”

Ville froze, spine going rigid. He turned so slowly that Bam started to get very tense.

“Bam.” Ville blinked at him, then his eyes widened in shock and horror. “Oh my God, Bam, what... how?” He stood and hurried over, stopping just in front of him. Ville reached out, then snatched his hand back. Bam tried not to let it hurt.

“Some guys jumped me.”

“When?”

Bam sighed and looked away. “Sunday before last.”

“Oh... God.” Ville's voice broke. “The day we...”

“Yeah.”

“Ville, Bam, why don't you boys go and talk. Bam, are you okay?”

“Getting there, Mrs Valo, thanks. How are you?”

“I'll be just fine dear.”

“Are you sure Mom?”

“Go on, darling, you have a lot to talk about.”

“My room's empty.”

Ville went back to his mother's side and kissed her cheek, then rejoined Bam. They walked slowly through the corridors in silence. Bam didn't know what to say and all he really wanted to do was take Ville into his arms and hold him, but he couldn't do that, not least because of his injuries.

They went into his room and he closed the door. He eased himself onto the bed and waited till Ville had sat down next to him.

“I'm really sorry you know.”

Ville looked startled. “What for?”

“For what I said that day. It was horrible and thoughtless, I just...”

“You just what?” Ville was quiet but there was an edge to his voice that made Bam feel even more worried.

“All I could think about was what he'd done to you and I hated him for it.” He nearly reached out for his boyfriend but stopped at a look from Ville. “The thought of you hurting kills me, Ville. I love you and I'd do anything to protect you from pain.”

“Even kill?”

Bam sighed. “No. I'm not sure why I said that.”

“Don't you?”

“Because I'm an asshole?” Bam shifted back on the bed with a groan of pain. He needed to lean against something. Ville looked concerned for a split second and it gave Bam a flash of hope. “I was coming to find you, to tell you when... well this happened.” He gestured at himself.

Ville was quiet for a long time, not looking at him and Bam's heart pounded hard in nervous anticipation.

“You really hurt me.” Ville was whispering. “I couldn't believe what you were saying, couldn't understand it.”

“I know, I'm sorry.”

“Be quiet, Bam.” Ville looked up and fixed him with a glare. Bam pressed his lips together. “I couldn't understand it then, but seeing you like this, so hurt...” Ville sucked in a shaky breath. “Oh God, I want to kill whoever did this to you.” Tears started to trickle down Ville's cheeks and Bam held out a hand in concern.

Ville took it and held on tightly. “So maybe I can understand. But I still love my brother and father, despite what happened. Do you understand that?”

“I do.” Bam stroked his thumb over Ville's knuckles gently.

Ville swallowed visibly and sniffed. “How bad is it?”

“Not so bad now.” Bam smiled reassuringly. “I was out for a few days, but other than that, I've had worse from skating.”

“You were unconscious?” Ville frowned. “Why didn't anyone...”

“By the time anyone was thinking straight enough to go look for you, you were gone.”

“My mother...”

“Is she really okay?”

“Better.” Ville's face crumpled. “It was close.”

“Baby.” Bam ached to hold him. Ville crawled onto the bed beside him and leaned against his undamaged side carefully.

“I thought you didn't care...” Ville's breath hitched, “I thought you weren't coming. I missed you so much Bam.”

“Me too. When they couldn't find you, I thought you'd left.”

“No.” Ville shook his head. “I couldn't.” He knelt up and Bam tipped his head back to look at him. “Can I kiss you?”

Bam nodded. “Please.”

Leaning in till their lips brushed gently, Ville cupped his face. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Bam closed the tiny gap, pressing his lips to Ville's, the taste and heat of him making Bam feel lightheaded. He was so happy and relieved. Parting his lips, he licked the crease of Ville's mouth, moaning softly when his boyfriend opened to him, sucking Bam's tongue into his mouth.

“Bam, oh.”

Ville sat back abruptly and Bam sighed.

“Damn. I'm sorry, I didn't...”

“It's fine, Jess.” Bam squeezed Ville's hand gently. “Ville, this is my brother, Jess. Jess, this is my boyfriend, Ville.”

Ville flushed, barely looking up. “Hi.”

“Uh hi.” Jess fidgeted in the doorway.

“Are you coming in or what?”

“I don't want to interrupt...”

“Come in.” Ville spoke softly.

Jess ventured in a little further, then finally sat in the chair by the bed. “Where did you come from? Dunn couldn't find you.”

“I've been here, with my mother.” Ville smiled ruefully. “Bam found me.”

“Thank God, he's been a fucking miserable bastard lately, maybe you can cheer him up.”

“Fuck you asshole.” Bam pouted at his brother.

“Bam.” Ville sounded a little shocked.

“What?”

“That's a terrible thing to say.”

“Well, he is an asshole.” Jess laughed at him. “Shut up, Jess!” Bam crossed his arms over his chest, then groaned in pain as the motion wrenched his ribs and hurt his arm. “Damn it.”

Ville scooted off the bed. “Lie down.”

“I'm fine, Ville.”

“I don't care, just lie down for me, okay?”

Jess laughed again and Bam glared at him. But he did, carefully, lie down. Ville perched on the edge of the bed and took his hand again.

“You okay?”

“Ville, it's fine, really. Don't worry so much.”

Ville snorted. “Right.”

Bam knew exactly how he felt so he smiled ruefully. “Try.”

“Okay, okay.”

Jess cleared his throat. “Oh Bam.”

“What?”

“The police have been in touch. They've got a witness.”

“Really?” Bam had been interviewed by the police not long after regaining consciousness. But he couldn't remember anything about the attack so he hadn't been able to help.

“Yeah and forensic evidence is building.”

Bam's jaw clenched. “Good.”

“We'll get em, bro.”

“I hope so.”

There was a knock at the door. “Visiting hours are over boys.”

Bam nodded to the nurse. “Okay, thanks.”

Jess got up. “I'll uh, I'll leave you two to say goodbye then.”

“Thanks.”

“I'll see you tomorrow. Ville, good to meet you.”

“You too.” Ville smiled shyly.

The door closed behind Jess and Bam tugged on Ville's hand. “Come here.”

Ville climbed onto the bed and crawled over him, carefully straddling his thighs. Bam looked up at him earnestly.

“Are we okay?”

“More than.”

Relief flooding him, Bam lifted his good arm and urged Ville down for a kiss. Ville's tongue swept briefly into his mouth, then he eased back, dotting gentle kisses onto Bam's lips.

“I'll come see you tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Bam smiled and watched Ville get off the bed. “Ville?”

“Yes?”

“I heard you sing.” Ville flushed and looked away. “You've got an amazing voice, how come I haven't heard you sing before?”

“I...” Ville shrugged, “I don't really sing anymore.”

“You should.” Bam smiled gently and Ville looked up again, a glimmer of happiness in his eyes. “I love you.”

“Love you too.” Ville gave him a tiny wave and left the room.

@>*~

Bam's room was chaotic, full of family and friends and Bam only felt a little guilty that the only person he really wanted to see was his boyfriend.

Everyone was excited because some arrests had been made, they were celebrating. Bam was too, but he was so happy to have found Ville, it was all he could think of. And Ville hadn't been round yet. Bam was trying not to be selfish and impatient, after all Ville's mother was in hospital too and probably a lot more ill than he was.

He tried to concentrate on what everyone was saying but it was tough. Jess seemed to be doing a pretty good job of deflecting everyone's attention from his distraction and Bam was grateful.

Finally, there was a soft knock and the door opened. Ville stopped in the doorway, mouth dropping open at the sight of so many people in his room.

“Ville!” Ape jumped up, startling Ville even more. “Oh honey, we were so worried about you.”

“We were?” Bam's uncle Vince frowned in confusion. “Whoda hell is he?”

Ville was staring at Ape in surprise and Bam grinned happily. Ape, Phil, Jess and Dunn were the only ones who knew who Ville was and it was great to hear his mother adopt yet another son.

“Back off everyone.” Bam smiled at his boyfriend. “Dunn, get off the bed, man.” He held out his hand to Ville. ”Hey.”

Hiding behind his hair, but with his eyes fixed on Bam, Ville hurried to the bed and caught his hand.

“Hyvää huomenta.”

Ville grinned suddenly. “You remembered.”

“Yeah.” Bam laughed, “And that's not all. Mä rakastan sua.”

“Oh Bam.”

“Oh.” Dico suddenly jumped up. “Is this the boyfriend?”

Bam barely heard him, he was completely focused on the older boy. He pulled on Ville's hand, smiling as his boyfriend leaned forward, supporting himself on his other hand. Ville kissed him very gently and the room went completely silent.

“That's actually not as gross as I thought it would be.” Bam heard Raab mutter.

“What?” Vince suddenly erupted. “Whadafuck is this shit? Since when's Bam a fucking queer?”

Ville flinched and Bam held tight onto him, afraid he'd run away.

“Shut up Vito.” Phil stood up and poked his brother in the chest. “Bam is my son, your nephew, don't you dare talk about him like that.”

“He just kissed some dirty faggot.”

“Hey!” Bam lost his temper. He levered himself forward and glared at his uncle. “Don't you ever, ever insult my boyfriend again or I'll fucking kick your ass.”

“Bam, don't.” Ville sounded and looked distressed.

“Oh Ville, don't be upset.” Ape put a hand on his shoulder, stroking gently when he flinched. “Vince, I think you should leave.”

“What?” Vito looked round in confusion but no support. “You're all nuts, fucking nuts.” He shuffled out of the room and Bam breathed out heavily, trying to calm down.

“Sorry, Ville.” Bam closed his eyes for a moment, then snapped them open in surprise when Ville kissed him again.

“Mä rakastan sua.” Ville whispered to him. Bam smiled.

“Hey Bammie, you gonna introduce us or what?”

“Everyone, this is Ville. Ville, this is everyone.” Bam laughed at the loud reaction of his friends and squeezed Ville's hand reassuringly, knowing his boyfriend was overwhelmed with it all. “Guys, come on, easy, okay?”

They quieted down straight away, then Novak piped up. “We should go anyway, we're too many and too loud to be in a hospital.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Bam laughed. “See you guys.”

“Later dude.” The room emptied out leaving only Bam's family, Dunn and Ville.

“How are you Ville?”

“I'm fine, thank you, April.”

“Where did Bam find you?”

“Oh well,” Ville cleared his throat, “My mom's ill.”

“Oh honey, I'm sorry.”

“She's getting better.” Ville smiled a little tremulously and Bam stroked his arm.

“Okay, everyone out. I love you all but I want some alone time with my boyfriend.”

“Well, we know when we're not wanted.” Ape pretended to be insulted and Bam smirked. “No monkey business.”

“Ape, you really think he's up to any monkey business?” Phil laughed at the look on Bam's face.

“It'd be none of your business if I was.” Bam pouted at his parents.

Ville laughed and Bam turned his pout on his boyfriend even though he was happy Ville seemed to be getting used to his family already.

Dunn lingered a bit longer than the rest of his family and Bam raised an eyebrow inquiringly.

“I'm uh, I'm glad you found each other again. Ville, Bam was really worried about you.”

“I know. We're okay now, really.” Ville smiled gratefully at Bam's best friend.

“Cool.” Dunn nodded and closed the door behind him.

“How's your Mom?”

Ville shrugged. “I can take her home tomorrow, so, okay I think.”

“Oh that's good news.” Bam felt relieved. Ville didn't need anything else to go wrong in his life. Ville nodded. “Get on the bed with me?”

“I thought your mother said no monkey business.”

Bam scowled. “Yeah well, Phil wasn't exagerrating when he said I wasn't up to anything.”

“Up?” Ville raised both eyebrows at his emphasis.

“The painkillers are affecting my uh, you know.”

“Ah.” Ville laughed and Bam poked him.

“Hey, it's not funny, Ville.” He pulled his hand away from his boyfriend and pretended to sulk.

“I'm sorry, love.” Ville ducked behind his hair, but Bam could see he was still grinning.

“Asshole.” He managed to cross his arms without hurting himself this time.

Ville climbed onto the bed, straddling his thighs the way he had the night before. “We can still kiss though right?”

Bam pretended to think about it and it was Ville's turn to pout. He grinned at the older boy. “You'd better kiss me, or I might regress.”

“Oh really.” Ville looked doubtful. “Are you trying to blackmail me?”

Bam tried to look innocent. “Me? Never.”

“Well, I don't think you deserve a kiss now.” Ville sat back.

“Aw.” Bam uncrossed his arms carefully. “You're going to hold out on a poor invalid?”

“Invalid? You?” Ville started laughing again.

“Hey, do I get a kiss or what?” Bam just held back a chuckle, “I'm starting to feel neglected.”

“Well, we couldn't have that.” Ville leaned forward and placed a gentle, chaste kiss on Bam's lips.

“That's a good start.”

Chuckling, Ville leaned in closer and kissed the corner of his mouth softly. His tongue slipped out to trace Bam's lips teasingly and excitement coursed through Bam's body. He tilted his head up, catching Ville's lips with his own. He licked over his boyfriend's tongue into his warm mouth and sighed happily.

Maybe he couldn't get it up just yet but it still felt really good to kiss the older boy, still made him want more. Ville pushed deeper and they kissed harder. Bam lifted his good arm so he could clasp Ville's hair and pull him as close as possible, tongues twining as he delved further into his boyfriend's mouth.

He needed to breathe but he didn't care, he just wanted more of Ville, wished his ribs weren't busted so Ville could lean on him and they could really touch. Instead he slipped his hand down Ville's back and cupped his ass, rocking his hips forward.

Ville gasped into his mouth and tried to pull away, but Bam held on tight. He could feel how hard Ville already was against him and it was so hot.

“Bam, I don't think...”

Bam kissed him again. “Please, Ville, let me touch you.”

Ville groaned and buried his face in Bam's neck. Bam was still rocking Ville against him and his boyfriend was letting him.

“But you... can't...”

“I know.” Bam slipped his hand forward and pressed the backs of his fingers against Ville's crotch. “I don't care. I want to make you feel good.”

“Oh God.” Ville sucked in a shaky breath and kissed Bam's neck. “You do.”

“Let me touch you.”

Ville nodded into the crook of his shoulder. “Please.”

Smiling triumphantly, Bam licked up Ville's jaw to his ear while he flicked open the button of his boyfriend's jeans. “I've been dying to touch you, see you. I want to see you come again.” Ville's hips jerked forward and Bam hurried to unzip his jeans and slip his hand into his underwear.

“Bam!” Ville cried out softly and Bam wrapped his fist round the solid length of the older boy's cock. It was the first time he'd ever had someone else's dick in his hand and he loved it.

Ville's cock was so hard, the skin soft under his fingers, and leaking profusely as he rocked up into Bam's grip. Slipping his fingers over the head to gather precome first, Bam started to stroke his boyfriend's shaft, the same way he jacked himself. Ville moaned and bit his shoulder, moving with his hand, thrusting into his grip, but somehow still careful not to jar Bam's ribs or arm.

“God, this is so hot. Ville, you're so beautiful, please, I want to see you.” Bam gasped for breath. He was so turned on and yet he wasn't hard, it was weird and frustrating, but he still didn't care. Touching Ville was as good as touching himself.

Ville sat upright, bracing one hand on the wall behind Bam's head, and stared at him. His lips were parted, breath moving harshly between them, the green of his eyes had darkened almost to black with lust and his cheeks were pink. Bam's stomach tightened with need and he jacked his boyfriend faster.

“I want you so bad. Want to touch you, taste you, all over.” Ville whimpered, bucking against him and Bam tightened his grip, watching the older boy's face open-mouthed with want. Sweat trickled in a thin line down Ville's cheek and Bam leaned forward to lick it. “I want every part of you.”

“You have...” Ville paused, breathing in sharply. “Every part...”

“Then I want you to fuck me.”

Ville bit his lip hard and arched into Bam, his whole body shuddering and jerking. Hot come spurted into Bam's hand and onto his stomach and Bam had to pull in a shaky breath of his own, his own body tightening with pleasure. It was the closest thing to an orgasm he'd ever had without actually being hard and shooting.

“Holy shit, Ville, that...” Bam shook his head, staring as Ville curled over and panted loudly. “That was incredible.”

Sitting up again, Ville looked at him with something like awe.

“What?” Bam let go of Ville's softening cock and his boyfriend caught his hand. He slowly licked Bam's hand clean and Bam couldn't tear his eyes away. Again it was one of the sexiest things he'd ever seen. “Jesus, Ville.”

Ville smiled, his eyes slightly glazed. He licked his lips, then sat up, grabbing a tissue from the bedside table to wipe himself off. He did up his jeans and shifted to sit next to Bam. “Thank you.”

“Any time.” Bam smiled. “Absolutely any time.”

Ville laughed, then went quiet again.

“Ville? Are you okay?”

“Yes.” The older boy twisted his head and stared at him for a moment. “Did you mean it?”

“All of it.” Bam nodded, “But which part are you actually asking about?”

“You really want me to... fuck you?”

Bam shivered at the thought; Ville's cock inside him, Ville fucking him hard and fast. He breathed out heavily. “Oh God yeah.”

Ville curled into his side and kissed his cheek, but he remained quiet and Bam frowned in worry.

“Hey, what's wrong really?

“I just.” Ville sighed and sat back a bit to meet Bam's eyes. “The way you look at me.”

“What about it?” Bam was a little confused.

“You look at me like I'm...” Ville blushed, his hair falling into his eyes, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Like you think I'm...”

“What?”

“Attractive.”

“Jesus Christ!” Ville flinched and started to get off the bed. “No wait, Ville.” Bam took his boyfriend's hand again. “Are you kidding me?” Ville shook his head and Bam sighed.

“You don't like the way I look at you?”

“It's not that,” Ville shook his head, “I just don't understand it, I need to get used to it.”

“Ville, are you sure you wouldn't let me kill anyone?” Bam's emotions warred between sorrow and anger. Who had destroyed Ville's confidence so completely?

“What?” Ville's eyes widened in shock.

“I don't look at you like you're merely attractive,” Bam lifted his hand to stroke Ville's sad face. “You're so beautiful. And I don't mean that in a girlie way.” He smiled ruefully. Ville flushed an even darker shade of red and cleared his throat and Bam hid a michievous smile. “And of course sexy... and hot, mustn't forget hot.”

“Bam!” Ville looked hurt and Bam sighed.

“I'm teasing Ville, not taking the piss. You have to know how much you turn me on, baby.”

Ville shook his head and closed his eyes. “Nobody's ever looked at me the way you do.”

“I don't believe you.” Bam tugged Ville close again and kissed him gently. “I bet half those bastards you went to school with, wanted you.”

Shuddering, Ville shook his head violently. “That was just scary, Bam, nothing like you.”

Bam wrapped his arms round his boyfriend carefully and kissed his hair. “I'm sorry. It's just, you really are the most beautiful man I've ever seen. But I love you, so I guess I'm biased.”

Ville snorted quietly and slipped an arm carefully round Bam's shoulders.

“Anything else worrying you?”

Ville shrugged. “I've never... sex, I've never.”

Bam frowned in confusion. “I thought you said you had.”

“Yes, but not,” Ville sighed and looked away. “I haven't f-fucked anyone, I don't know if I...”

“Ville, take it easy, I didn't mean right away or anything.” Bam lifted Ville's chin and waited till green eyes met his. “I've never had sex with a guy at all, so you know, we'll take our time.”

“Have you had sex with a girl?”

“A few, yeah,” Bam looked down. It wasn't something he liked to think about, not least because he'd lost a good friend by being such a dick to her. He'd done it because he thought it was what he was supposed to do and Jenn had never understood why he'd treated her so badly. After that he'd stopped screwing girls. “A while ago.”

“Oh.” Ville pulled away from Bam's grip.

“Ville, it was before I even realised I was gay. I thought I was supposed to, you know?”

“What's it like?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I don't know!” Ville snapped suddenly and pulled right away, sitting on the edge of the bed. Bam closed his eyes and bit his lip.

“It was soft, warm... okay I guess, but fuck, Ville, nothing like I feel when I'm with you. I couldn't even get it up and jacking you off was the hottest thing I've ever done. Watching you...” Bam had to stop, the thought was too much. He really wished he could get it up.

Ville turned to look at him, face half hidden by his hair.

“Stop hiding from me.” Bam gently brushed Ville's hair back. “You don't need to.”

“I don't.”

“Yes, you do.” Bam smiled softly. “You always hide behind your hair.”

“I don't mean to.” Ville leaned against him.

“I know.” Bam held onto his boyfriend, kissing his cheek. “I just want to see your face more, I happen to like it.”

Ville laughed. “I'll see what I can do.”

“Some of that eyeliner that's in your fridge would be good too.” Bam waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Well,” Ville flushed lightly, “Maybe.”

“Maybe?”

“Maybe I'll wear it for you.” Ville's smile turned a little sly and Bam raised an eyebrow.

“Oh really? What would it take to convince you.”

“If you wore it too.”

Bam blinked. “Me? In eyeliner?”

“I think it would look sexy.” Ville grinned and Bam laughed, shaking his head disbelievingly.

“Really?”

“Oh yes.” Ville leaned closer and nuzzled into his neck. “Very.”

Ville pressed a kiss just below his ear and Bam shivered, little sparks of electricity tingling down his spine. That was it, no more painkillers. Bam would have rather suffered a little pain and been able to fully appreciate Ville's touch.

He nudged Ville round and kissed him, almost desperately. There was a single tap on the door and it opened before they could pull apart.

“Oh I'm sor- Ville!” A young pretty nurse blinked widely in shock at the pair.

“Hello Claire.” Ville flushed and shook his hair into his face. Bam frowned both in confusion, and annoyance that Ville had resorted to hiding behind his hair already.

“You, sorry,” she shook her head, “I wasn't expecting to see you... um, in here.” She cleared her throat and moved a little further into the room. “Brandon, um, how are you feeling?” She picked up his clipboard.

“Better.” Bam frowned. What the hell was wrong with her. “I want to get off all these painkillers.”

“Oh I don't know about that.” She looked up again, eyes still wide and flicking back and forth between them.

“I'm serious, I want off the drugs.” Bam tried to catch her eye, raising his eyebrow.

“You can talk to Dr Sloan, but I wouldn't get your hopes up.” She was staring at Ville again and Bam cleared his throat loudly.

“What's going on with you two?”

Ville seemed to shrink in on himself and he pulled away from Bam. “Nothing.”

The nurse put down the clipboard and backed up. “Right.” She looked disappointed. “Lunch will be along soon.” And then she was gone.

“Ville?” Bam turned to look at his boyfriend. “What the hell was that?”

Ville shrank even further away from him and Bam tried not to get angry because he felt ridiculously jealous and he didn't even know why.

“I,” Ville breathed in shakily. “I was in a really bad way last week. I thought my mother was dying, I thought I'd lost you. Claire was nice to me, made me talk to her.”

Bam winced. Now he just felt stupid that he was jealous, and guilty that he couldn't have been there for Ville when his mother was hospitalised. “Oh.”

“But...” Ville said something so quietly that Bam couldn't hear him.

“But what?” Bam touched his knee gently.

“She kissed me.”

It took all his willpower for Bam not to snatch his hand away. That and Ville's miserable expression. “Why... I mean, how?”

Ville shrugged, not meeting his eyes. “She... she said I was lovely and deserved better.”

“I'd have to agree with her there.” Bam smiled ruefully.

Ville glared at him. “And she kissed me.”

Bam grimaced. “And?”

“And what?” Ville looked up in surprise. “I was so shocked, I let her. Until she...”

“What?”

“Tried to stick her tongue in my mouth,” Ville pulled a face, “I pushed her so hard she fell.”

“Didn't like it?”

“Did you?” Ville practically snapped at him.

“Oh I get it.” Bam was annoyed again. “This is why you asked me about what it was like with a girl.”

“Yes, okay?” Ville got up and walked to the window. “It was so... wrong, I couldn't even imagine having sex with a girl. When you said you had, I just... I don't know!”

“Felt insecure?” Bam's temper died down and he eased himself up off the bed. “No, it wasn't bad, mostly, but it wasn't good. Since I met you, I've realised why.”

“Why?”

“Duh, Ville, I'm gay. Women don't do it for me?”

Ville almost smiled. “So it's just men I have to worry about?”

“You don't have to worry about anyone,” Bam nudged his boyfriend, “Unless there's another Ville Valo around you haven't told me about.”

Ville started to laugh, shoulders shaking. He dropped his forehead onto the glass. Bam smiled and rubbed his back, waiting for him to calm down a little.

“I'm sorry.”

Bam leaned against the window next to Ville. “Why?”

“I keep doing this.”

“And yet I still love you.” Bam smiled gently and Ville smiled back, a little ruefully.

“Good.”

“Are you staying for lunch?” Bam straightened up again.

“I should go and see my Mom.”

“Okay.” He took Ville's hand and urged him round. They leaned into each other and Bam lifted his chin. “Kiss me.”

Ville's mouth brushed slowly over his and Bam surged up, a little impatiently, capturing Ville's mouth, tongue sliding inside. Ville moaned and inched closer, clutching at his hair with one hand, the other sliding round his waist. There was an edge of desperation to it that made Bam wish he wasn't injured, on drugs and in hospital.

“God, I love you.” Bam breathed in a little shakily.

“I love you too.” Ville let go and licked his lips. “Can I come back later.”

“You don't have to ask.” Bam climbed carefully back onto the bed while Ville walked to the door. “See you.”

Ville nodded and left the room. Bam sat back. He felt exhausted, nothing was easy with Ville, but then again, it never had been and he knew it was worth it. He smiled to himself, he was a big sap and he didn't give a fuck.

There was a quiet knock at the door and he turned to look as it opened. It was the nurse again.

“What do you want?”

She flushed. “I guess to apologise.”

“Oh.”

“When I was talking to Ville, he was devastated,” she sighed, “I guess I kissed him because I wanted to make him feel better. I didn't realise he was gay.”

“I understand you know.” Bam almost smiled at her. “When I first met Ville he was so shy and I just wanted to make things better.”

“What happened? Why did he think you'd split up?”

“We'd argued, but on the way to apologise to him, this happened.” He gestured at himself. “He didn't know I was here.”

“Oh that's terrible! But you're both okay now right?”

“Very.” Bam smiled to himself. “Especially once I get off these painkillers.”

She looked blank for a moment, then her eyes widened in shock for a second before she smiled and nodded. “Oh, having those side effects are we?”

Bam pouted. “Hey. Shut up.”

“I'll talk to Dr Sloan.” She smirked at him. “I'm glad you're both okay.”

“Thanks, me too.”

@>*~

Three weeks later and Bam was deemed healthy enough to go home, much to his relief. He'd been so unbelievably bored and agitated that he'd even been snappy and miserable with Ville. Which had made him feel guilty and hence even more snappy.

His family and friends were used to his injured frustrations but Ville wasn't and his boyfriend had become quieter and quieter with each visit. And each visit had grown shorter and shorter until Bam didn't know whether to shout or cry.

Now Ville was actually skipping the odd day and Bam felt even worse. So he hadn't told the older boy that he was leaving hospital that day. He had decided he needed to do something to make up for being such an asshole.

He'd asked his mother for help.

“So what's the plan.”

Bam got into the car. “I need to go to a nursery.”

“A nursery?” Ape frowned at him.

“I want to get Ville something for his garden.”

“Oh Bam, that's so sweet.”

Bam grimaced. “Shut up.”

“My baby boy's a big softie at heart.”

“Ape!” Bam crossed his arms over his chest. “Damn it, would you shut the hell up!” It was bad enough that Dunn knew he was a bit of a sap when it came to Ville, and teased him about it, without his mother starting in on him too. She snickered quietly but refrained from further comment.

Bam sulked all the way to the nursery, and most of the way around. What the hell was he doing there anyway? He didn't know anything about plants, maybe it hadn't been such a good idea.

Just as he was about to give up, Bam spotted something. He moved closer. It was a delicate-looking, long stemmed flower with large leaves at the base and it reminded him of Ville's heartagram symbol.

“It's beautiful, isn't it?”

Bam jumped and looked round. A tall, good-looking blond with piercing blue eyes stood right behind him. His name-tag said Nathan on it. “What?”

“The orchid, isn't it lovely?”

“Oh, yeah I guess. I don't really know anything about flowers.” Bam flushed lightly and backed up a little. Nathan took a step forward.

“It's the perfect gift to impress a young lady.”

“It's not for a young lady.” Bam replied without thinking and the man stepped even closer, his smile widening. Bam was starting to feel a little uncomfortable, Nathan was too close and looking at him in a way that made him feel slightly queasy and a tiny bit excited at the same time. “How much?”

“Seventy-five dollars.”

Bam nearly choked. “Seventy-five?”

“It's a very rare orchid, and it grows beautifully in this climate.”

And it was perfect for Ville, but seventy-five dollars was a lot of money to him. He was only a high school student after all. “Ape?!”

His mother wandered over and smiled at Nathan. “What?”

“Can I borrow forty-five dollars?”

“Borrow?” Ape snorted.

“Come on, Ape, this is perfect for Ville, but I've only got thirty bucks.” Bam widened his eyes and pouted pleadingly.

Ape laughed at him. “I'll think about it while I'm looking around.”

Bam's mouth dropped open and he stared at his mother in disbelief. He knew she was probably just teasing him, but still, this was important.

Nathan moved right up against him and smiled in a way that suddenly made Bam's skin crawl. “You know, we could work something out... round back.”

Bam stared in confusion for a moment before realising what the blond meant. “Are you nuts?”

“No, horny. Come on, a quick blow job, a thirty dollar plant, we all win.”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“So do I.” Nathan smirked.

“I'm underage, man.” Bam lifted his chin defiantly.

“So what? Dude, I've been fucking since I was fourteen.”

“Whatever, man,” Bam snorted loudly, “I don't screw around.”

“Oh my, I think we have ourselves a virgin.” Nathan smirked at him and Bam flushed.

“Fuck off.” He picked up the orchid and stalked away. He'd promise his mother anything to get the money and away from that creep.

It took a promise of not skating for another week before Ape gave him the money. Bam hoped it was worth it.

@>*~

Ape dropped him outside the Weston place and Bam hopped over the wall and went round the back as he always did. He knocked on the back door and waited, but there was no answer. He knew Ville had to be inside though, so he eventually put the orchid down and forced the door. Heading inside, Bam could hear something from the sitting room. He pushed open the door and stared in horror. Ville was standing on a chair, scribbling furiously on the wall, choking and hiccuping on loud sobs.

“Ville?” Bam hurried over and just caught his boyfriend as he fell off the chair, startled.

“Bam!” Ville yanked himself out of Bam's arms and shrank in on himself. “You... you left.” Ville collapsed on the chair, hugging himself tightly and Bam dropped to his knees in front of him. “You left!”

“Baby, I'm sorry.” Bam's heart clenched in his chest. “I didn't think you were going to visit today, I wanted to surprise you.”

“Oh you did.” Ville wiped his face and sniffed. He looked angry as well as upset now. “These past three weeks have been a constant fucking surprise.”

Bam stared in shock. Ville never swore. “I know and I'm sorry.” Overwhelmed with worry, Bam dropped his head onto Ville's lap. “I know I'm a dick when I'm ill. I don't mean it, I don't mean any of it, I just get frustrated.”

“You didn't have to take it out on me.”

“I take it out on everyone, but you're right.” Bam sighed and looked up, “I've tried not to, but I suck.”

“You've tried?” Ville looked like he didn't believe him. “Bam, you made me feel...” He stopped, swallowing visibly. “You made me feel like a burden, like you didn't want me there.”

“What?” Bam gaped at his boyfriend, suddenly unable to keep from bursting into tears. He buried his face back in Ville's lap. “I'm so sorry, Ville, I'm sorry. I never want to hurt you, never!” He sobbed into Ville's jeans, terrified that he'd fucked up badly yet again. How did he keep doing this?

A gentle hand wound its way through his hair and Bam calmed down, letting Ville stroke his hair in silence, waiting for his boyfriend to say something.

“I know you don't.”

Bam lifted his head. “I'm so sorry, Ville, I don't mean to be such an asshole.”

“I know.” Ville leaned forward and wrapped Bam in his arms, hugging him gently. He kissed Bam's temple.

Bam stood slowly and offered Ville his hand. “Would you come outside, I got something for you.”

Ville frowned at him, but took his hand and got up, following him outside. Bam picked up the orchid. “I bought you this to make up for being such a dick.”

“Oh God, Bam!” Ville stared, open mouthed. “It's beautiful.” He took it from Bam.

“Grows okay outside apparently.” He looked at his boyfriend hopefully, “I thought you could put it in the garden.”

“Thank you.” Ville put the orchid down carefully and clasped Bam's face between his hands, kissing him gently.

“Please forgive me, Ville, I hate it when you're hurt.” Bam screwed up his eyes against the renewed threat of tears.

“Of course I do.” Ville sighed and kissed him again. “But promise me you'll talk to me, not just lash out, okay?”

“I'll try, I promise.” Bam nodded and hugged Ville tightly.

“Help me plant it?”

“Sure.” The Finnish boy went into the kitchen to get a trowel and Bam picked up the orchid. “Where do you want to put it?”

“The apex of the triangle I think. Pride of place.”

Bam sat on the grass next to his kneeling boyfriend and watched Ville dig a small hole. He eased the orchid carefully out of its pot and Ville planted it.

“You don't have to buy me stuff you know.”

“Yeah, but I really wanted to and I was a bitch to you.”

Ville nodded. He patted the earth down and sat properly, hooking his legs over Bam's. “Why do you get so frustrated and... bitchy?”

“I don't know, because I get bored I think.” Bam sighed. “I'm used to running around like a moron, skating, you know?”

“There are other things you can do.” Ville picked at Bam's jeans restlessly. “Read a book, go on the internet...”

“I know, but I guess it's knowing that I can't just get up and go do something. I love skating so much.”

“I know.” Ville squeezed his knee. “I want to see you skate sometime.”

Bam grinned at him. “Really?”

“Of course. It's something you love.”

“Well, I'm going to be practising for a competition now, you could come and watch whenever you wanted.” Bam lifted himself up and tugged Ville to his feet.

“You compete?”

“Yeah.” Bam slipped his arms round Ville's slim waist and dug his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. “It's what I want to do and to get sponsorship deals I need to compete. And win of course.”

“Do you win?”

“Yeah sometimes. My boys are pretty good too.”

“But you're the best?” Ville wrapped his arms round Bam's neck.

“Of course.” Bam smirked and his boyfriend laughed softly. He leaned into Ville and rubbed their noses together. “You'll see.”

“I'm sure I will.” Ville moved even closer so their lips were just touching.

His body starting to tingle and tighten with need, Bam tried to kiss his boyfriend properly. But Ville kept pulling away.

“Ville?”

“Don't hurry it.” Ville smiled against his lips. “Savour it.”

“But I want you.”

“I want you too.” Ville swept his tongue over Bam's lips then went back to just pressing their lips lightly together.

“Ville!” Bam couldn't help whining but it was the first time they'd been together, alone, happy and with Bam well on his way to a hard-on since he'd woken up in the hospital.

Ville responded by pulling back slightly so only their noses were touching again. “You need to learn patience Bam, now hush.”

He tried to close the gap again but Ville had a hand tangled in his hair and he yanked on it.

“Ow! Ville, what the fuck?”

“Be quiet.” Ville stared hard into his eyes, his expression dark and serious. A spark of excitement shivered its way down his spine, bringing him to full erection and he bit down on his lip, trying to do as Ville told him because his boyfriend's tone was really hot.

Ville's eyes held him spellbound for what seemed like hours and Bam licked his lips. The anticipation was intense and Bam thought he might burst before Ville slowly- oh God so slowly- leaned in again. Their noses brushed over each other and at last, their mouths touched again.

Bam could hear his breath harsh in his lungs, his blood rushing in his ears. He was desperate for Ville to kiss him now, but somehow he held himself still.

“Good boy.” Ville's lips moved over his as he spoke. Bam shuddered, need starting to overwhelm his system.

“Please, Ville.”

“Please what?” Ville blinked slowly and he smiled against Bam's mouth.

“Please kiss me.”

Ville used his grip on his hair to tilt Bam's head up. Ville licked the crease of his lips, then pulled back again.

Bam groaned. His dick was hard and leaking now and his legs were trembling. He wanted Ville so bad but he didn't want to risk saying or doing anything that would make the older boy pull away again.

Ville smirked and kissed him again, harder. He nipped Bam's lip and he yelped in pain. But he didn't pull away and his cock jumped in his pants. Especially when the Finnish boy's tongue finally- fucking finally- slid into his mouth.

Bam was about ready to come his pants and Ville just kissed him oh-so-slowly, licking into his mouth, a slow, teasing caress. He really did feel like he was going to explode. His knees were weakening as his dick pulsed needily in his pants and he held onto Ville tightly, sucking urgently on his tongue.

Ville pulled back again, resting their foreheads together and Bam whimpered in desperation.

“Easy my love.” Ville slid a hand down from his neck, slowly tracing the lines of his muscles. Bam shivered. It was crazy how turned on he was, his boyfriend was going to drive him insane. Ville scraped a fingernail over his nipple and Bam gasped. God, it felt good.

The older boy didn't stop, just caressed him, watching the path of his own hand, panting lightly.

“So good, Bam, I want to touch you all the time.”

Bam swallowed, hips jerking forward against his will. “Oh God Ville, please, please I want you to touch me.” Ville's hand trailed lower, rubbing along his waistband teasingly and Bam whined softly. The older boy's fingers slipped under the edge of his t-shirt, a soft caress on his skin that electrified Bam. “Please.”

“Please what?” Ville smiled darkly.

“Please touch me.”

“I am touching you.”

Tears pricked Bam's eyes, he was getting so desperate to feel, touch, kiss-- anything, something. He wanted Ville badly. “Ville, I need you.”

Ville's smile softened. “Have I teased you too much?” He pulled away completely, but before Bam could do anything, the older boy was sinking to his knees and Bam gaped, his cock jerking, spurting precome into his pants. Ville pulled open his jeans and tugged them down along with his underwear and Bam groaned in relief as his dick sprang free.

His boyfriend smiled up at him and wrapped his hand round Bam's dick tightly. Bam groaned biting down hard on his lip so he didn't come straight away. “Ville, too close.”

Ville leaned in and inhaled deeply, then his tongue slipped out to gently lick the head, cleaning off the precome. Bam tried not to move but he was having trouble standing. “Please!”

His boyfriend finally seemed to take pity on him and sank his mouth onto Bam's cock. It was hot and soft and unbelievably good and Bam just couldn't hold back any longer. “Ville, gonna...”

Tension released in the pit of his stomach and Bam's whole body tightened and shuddered as pleasure shot through him and he came in the warmth of his lover's mouth. Ville just held onto him, smiling and swallowing until Bam's knees finally gave out and they collapsed together to the ground.

It took Bam a while to get his breath back and he held tightly to Ville, not wanting to let him go. His boyfriend was pressed close and Bam could feel the length of Ville's erection. He ground against him. Ville moaned and jerked and Bam grinned, glad he was having some sort of effect on his lover after the way he'd just been brought off.

He'd enjoyed the torture though, Ville had made him so hot, so needy but it had been so very good, even if he hadn't been able to enjoy the blowjob for as long as he would have liked.

“Ville, I want more.”

The older boy pulled back. “More?”

“Yeah.” Bam flushed, “I want you to fuck me.”

Ville shook his head. “No.”

“Why not?” Bam rolled on top of his lover and rocked into his groin. Ville gasped, arching up against him.

“It's too soon.”

“But I want you.”

“It's not always about what you want.” Ville pushed him back and Bam frowned.

“So you don't want it.”

“I didn't say that, Bam, look at me.” Ville gestured to his lap. “Look at how much I want you. Sex is a huge step and I want to take it slowly with you, okay?” Bam swallowed back his disappointment and nodded. He had to remember that Ville's experiences of sex had sounded shitty and he needed time. It was just really hard.

“Yeah, I'm sorry.” Bam got on his knees and leaned in to kiss Ville gently. “Can I touch you though?”

Ville nodded, eyes wide. “God, please! You have no idea how hot it is teasing you.”

While Bam was tempted to give Ville a taste of his own medicine, he also wanted to see Ville come again and he pulled him closer. He wrapped one arm round his lover's neck and slipped the other down to rub gently against his crotch. The older boy groaned and lifted his head to kiss Bam hard and desperate.

Bam tugged open Ville's jeans one handed and slipped his hand inside, wrapping his fist round the length of his lover's cock. Ville sighed into his mouth and thrust up into the tunnel of his hand. Bam tightened his grip and started to stroke, slowly, rubbing up and down almost as teasingly as Ville had kissed him earlier.

But it didn't take much- Ville in just as bad a way as Bam had been when Ville had finally sucked him into his mouth- and Bam pulled his mouth away so he could watch Ville's face as he came. The older boy arched up, jerked into Bam and flooded his hand.

“God, that's so hot,” Bam whispered. He pulled his hand free and licked his fingers. Ville tasted bittersweet and Bam grinned at his boyfriend who was watching him with wide, dark eyes as he panted for breath. “I love you so much!”

“I love you, Bam.” Ville smiled happily at him. He sat up and did up his pants again and Bam realised he still had his jeans and underwear down round his thighs. He grinned at Ville and pulled his own jeans up as well.

“I need a shower.” Ville stood slowly, slightly shakily. His breathing seemed a little harsh and Bam frowned worriedly.

“Ville? Are you okay?”

“I need...” Ville's breath caught in his chest and he wheezed. “Shit,” he gasped.

“Ville?” Bam grabbed his boyfriend, “What? What is it?”

“Asthma.” Ville took a slow breath, “Help me to my room please.”

Bam slipped an arm round Ville's waist and half carried him to his room, trying not to panic as Ville's wheezing got worse. In his room, the older boy scrabbled for an inhaler and sucked in a shot of medicine, his breath finally easing.

“Shit, Ville, why didn't you tell me?”

“It's not too bad usually.” Ville sighed and smiled apologetically.

Bam sank onto the bed. “But you... asthma attacks can be fatal, Ville! You should have told me.”

“I just,” Ville sat beside him and took his hand, “I got used to not telling anyone in case they saw it as another weakness they could take advantage of. And you made me feel vulnerable because I liked you so much; I didn't want to look weak.”

“Oh Ville, even after me and my ankle?” Ville nodded. “Being ill isn't weakness, it's just illness. Just promise me you'll always carry an inhaler on you from now on.”

“I promise.” Ville pocketed the inhaler and leaned against Bam. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you.”

“It's okay, I was just really scared, you know?” Bam cupped Ville's face and gently urged him round to look at him again. “I don't want to have to see you struggling for breath like that again.”

“You might have to.” Ville grimaced ruefully, “I can't always help it.”

“I know, I meant unnecessarily.” Bam blew out a loud breath of frustration, he wasn't expressing himself very well. “Ville, I...”

“It's okay Bam, I know what you mean.” Ville smiled reassuringly. “You don't think watching you skate isn't going to give me a heart attack?”

Bam flushed. “Skating isn't the same as being ill, Ville, but thanks. I'll try not to worry you too much.”

“Good.” Ville took Bam's hand from his face and leaned forward to kiss him. “If you have to do something dangerous, just warn me okay?”

“Okay.” Bam grinned and kissed Ville again.

“When do you start school again?”

Bam grimaced. “Tomorrow can you believe?”

“Well you have missed a lot and not just because of being in the hospital.” Ville raised an eyebrow at him and Bam scowled.

“And again with pretending to be my mother! Don't okay? I hate school and that's all there is to it.”

“Why do you hate school so much? At least you have friends.”

Bam pressed his lips together in annoyance and a touch of self-pity. “Look, it's just... for years I was the stupid kid okay?”

“But you're far from stupid.” Ville looked confused and Bam shrugged.

“A couple of years ago I was tested for dyslexia. Turns out I'm not stupid but by that point it didn't matter that I was dyslexic, I'm still the stupid kid in everyone's mind.”

“That's...” Ville gaped, seemingly searching for a word. “So unfair.”

“But true.” Bam dropped his head onto Ville's shoulder, “Can you see why I hate it? I have trouble understanding half of it, no one has the time to help me and then I get treated like an idiot. It sucks.”

“Can't your parents complain or something?”

“They've tried, but the school doesn't have the resources to help kids with learning disorders and my folks can't afford to send me to one that does.” Bam hated talking about his problems at school. It made him feel stupid even though he knew he wasn't.

“So you just skip all the time?” Ville asked softly.

“Yeah. I don't get too much shit from Ape and Phil because they know what it's like.”

“I see.”

Ville's tone was critical and challenging and Bam lifted his head. “You see what?”

“You just let them get away with it.” Ville shook his head. “You're just going to make it easy for them to treat you, and anyone else with dyslexia, like you don't deserve a high school education just because it's a little harder to teach you? That doesn't sound like the Bam I know.”

Bam straightened and rolled his shoulders back. His boyfriend had a point, which was really annoying because he hated school with a fierce passion and he didn't want to go.

“Well?” Ville looked expectant.

“Okay, okay. I hadn't thought about it like that before, maybe you're right. I'm just not sure it would do any good now.”

“Of course it will. I bet you can rope your friends in to help out. Make the teachers cater to more than one way of teaching.”

Bam grinned widely. The thought of fucking with his teachers was enough to make him consider it. He could still skip a day here and there for skating practise. “You know what? I might just do that.”

“Good.” Ville smiled a little smugly and Bam poked him. “Hey!”

“Hey yourself. I can't believe you just convinced me to go to school. You suck, you know that?”

“I thought you enjoyed me sucking.” Ville's smile turned dark and sly and Bam shivered at the memory of Ville's hot mouth swallowing him down. His belly tightened, his groin stirred and Bam shifted uncomfortably. They were sitting on Ville's bed and Bam would have liked nothing more than to push Ville back, crawl on top of him and get them both off. But he was still uncertain of what Ville wanted, how far to go. Even when it was Ville making the provocative statements.

“Ville, I...” Bam stopped, trying to moisten his suddenly dry mouth. His boyfriend slipped an arm round his waist and leaned in close to whisper.

“Whatever just went through your mind...” Ville licked the rim of Bam's ear. “I think you should just do it.”

Bam groaned quietly, his dick hardening instantly. “Are you sure? I said I wouldn't push and I meant it.”

“I can't seem to help myself with you.” Ville's hot breath caressed his ear and Bam started to ache with need.

“Oh God.” Turning his head, Bam captured those teasing lips in a desperate kiss. He clutched at Ville's hair and plunged his tongue into the older boy's mouth. Ville kissed back just as hard, wrapping his arms round Bam's neck.

Bam pushed at him, shifting them both back till they were lying on the bed. He pushed a thigh between Ville's legs and rocked into him. His boyfriend moaned into his mouth, hands sliding down Bam's back to grasp his ass and haul him closer.

Still kissing hard and urgent, they rubbed against each other fast and erratic. It felt amazing. It was so fucking hot to have the press of Ville's cock against his thigh, his own cock digging urgently into his boyfriend's leg, Bam wasn't sure he could last long enough to unzip them both.

Ville nipped hard on his bottom lip and Bam pulled away. “Ville?”

“Sit up.” Ville licked his lips and pushed at him. “I want to see you, I want to watch you jack off.”

Bam's cock jerked hard in his pants and he sat up, straddling Ville's thighs.

“Touch yourself for me, Bam.”

The combination of Ville's beautiful, deep voice and what he was saying was nearly enough to make Bam come in his pants. He wrenched open his zipper and shoved his pants and boxers down round his hips, watching Ville unbutton his shirt, then his jeans, releasing his own erection with a sigh.

Bam gripped his cock tightly, his boyfriend looked so unbelievably gorgeous, all pale and slender lines, dark, wide eyes and open, pink mouth. Ville started to jack himself and Bam groaned softly, need pulsing through his whole body. He stroked his cock, quickly matching his rhythm to the older boy's.

“God, Bam, you look so sexy doing that.” Ville sounded strained and Bam's balls tightened. “I want you to come on me.”

“Oh fuck!” Pleasure exploded out from his groin and Bam jerked as he came, shooting over Ville's groin and belly.

“Oh God, Bam, that's so hot.” Ville's hand speeded up and somehow, Bam found the presence of mind to bend over his lover and bat his hand out of the way, sucking his cock into his mouth. “Bam!” Ville surged up, nearly choking him, but Bam just held on tight and suddenly, his boyfriend was arching up, filling his mouth with come. He managed to swallow, not quite gagging. Tasting come was not the same as trying to cope with a mouthful.

Ville tugged at his shoulder and Bam looked up, almost feeling nervous. Ville's eyes were a little glazed but he was smiling softly.

“You okay?”

“Very.”

“You didn't have to do that.”

“I wanted to.” Bam leaned forward and kissed Ville gently.

“Are you sure?”

“Really wanted to.” Bam grinned at his boyfriend and kissed him again. He rubbed gently at the come plastering Ville's belly and was suddenly overwhelmed by a fierce sense of possessiveness.

“Bam?” Ville stared at him questioningly.

“I...” Bam paused, he didn't really know what to say. Wasn't sure how Ville would react if he told him what he was feeling.

“Tell me what that look was about, Bam.” Ville stroked a hand down his arm, then rested it on Bam's thigh.

“I don't know if that's a good idea.” He sat back slightly and pulled his pants back up.

Ville frowned. “Tell me.” Bam bit his lip and shook his head. “Now, Bam.”

A shiver wound its way round Bam's stomach, muscles clenching in anticipation that would have led to a hard-on if he hadn't just come. But Ville wasn't the only one who could be forceful. Bam grabbed his boyfriend's hands and shoved them back over his head. Ville pushed at him, but Bam kept him pinned down.

“Bam?”

He leaned over so he was hovering over his boyfriend, faces only an inch apart. “You belong to me.”

Ville stared up at him open-mouthed, almost scared for a split second. “Wh-what?”

Bam slowly traced Ville's lips with his tongue before repeating himself. “You. Belong. To me.”

He let go of Ville's arms and shifted lower, drawing his tongue down his lover's neck to his chest. Ville moaned, not moving as Bam licked first one nipple, then the other, into a tight point. He traced the older boy's ribcage down to his belly and started to lap up his come, licking Ville clean all the way down to his groin. His boyfriend was half hard again and so was Bam by the time he'd licked Ville's cock clean.

“God Bam.” Ville tangled his fingers in Bam's curls and tugged him back up. “I don't think I can come again just yet.”

Bam smiled and shifted sideways so he could lie next to the older boy while Ville did up his pants. The possessiveness he felt was less overwhelming than it had been, but still there, in the back of his mind. He wondered what Ville was thinking.

“Old fart,” he teased.

“Fuck off!”

Bam lifted his head in surprise. It wasn't like the older boy to swear, now twice in one day? Ville looked just as shocked, jaw dropping.

“What was that?”

“I don't know.” Ville frowned and bit his lip. “I'm sorry.”

“Did I hit a nerve or something?” Bam frowned at Ville's expression, “Baby?”

“I don't know, okay?” Ville pulled away and rolled over, facing away from Bam.

“Why don't I believe you?” Bam swallowed back hurt that Ville was lying to him and allowed his anger to surface instead.

“Just leave it, Bam.”

“No!” Bam pulled Ville onto his back and glared at him. “I thought we were past all this. I thought you trusted me.”

Ville's face screwed up and his breath hitched. “I trust you.”

Bam was confused and still hurt and angry. “What the hell does that mean?”

“It means you're only seventeen and I'm a big, fucking hypocrite, that's what it means!” Ville rolled round and sat up on the other side of the bed.

“Ville...” Bam sighed, his anger diffusing into concern. “Talk to me.” He put a hand on Ville's shoulder and tried to ignore the shaft of pain that pierced his heart when his boyfriend flinched.

“Janne was two years older than I was,” Ville started quietly, “My only friend at my new school. He practically forced me to have sex with him. He took advantage, Bam, how the hell is what I'm doing any different?”

Bam gaped. “Are you serious?”

Ville's head dropped to his chest. “Yes.”

“You're really fucked up, you know that?” Bam sat next to his boyfriend and wrapped an arm round his waist. Ville snorted. “I'm not sweet, innocent and naļve, you know?” He stroked Ville's hair gently. “And I wasn't exactly a blushing virgin either. I knew what I was doing, what I wanted, and if anyone was taking advantage, it was me.”

“How do you figure?”

“Because you were alone, vulnerable.” Bam grimaced, starting to feel guilty himself.

“No.” Ville started to smile again, blinking away the shine in his eyes. “You gave me reason to start living again. I love you... and I like belonging to you.”

Bam breathed in slowly, relief flooding him. “I love you too.”

Ville dropped his head onto Bam's shoulder and slipped an arm round his waist. They sat together in silence for a long time, just cuddling. It was comforting and comfortable and Bam suspected that it made Ville feel as good as it did him and he was happy to stay like that for as long as necessary.

In the end, it was Bam's stomach rumbling that precipitated their moving. Ville laughed at him and stood up.

“Come on, I'll make you something to eat.”

“Thank you.” Bam followed him downstairs and sat down to watch his lover. Watching Ville in the kitchen was similar to watching him in the garden, fascinating. It was like Ville was totally consumed and absorbed by what he was doing.

Bam suddenly realised Ville had stopped what he was doing and was staring back.

“What?”

Bam smiled. “Nothing. I just like watching you.”

Ville flushed. “But why?”

“Why not?” Bam grinned at his boyfriend. “I think you're beautiful.”

Snorting, Ville shook his head and turned back to the counter and Bam carried on watching him.

“Here you go.” Ville put a plate of sandwiches on the table in front of him and sat down next to him, taking one for himself.

“Thank you.” Bam eyed the sandwiches a little suspiciously, but picked one up, resisting the urge to sniff it before taking a bite.

“Just eat it.” Ville pursed his lips in mock-annoyance, “You've liked everything else I made you.”

“True.” Bam took a healthy bite. Again, it was delicious and Bam sighed happily, practically inhaling the rest. Ville continued eating his with a smug smirk while Bam started on his second. “Shut up.”

“Don't speak with your mouth full.” Ville smiled wider, “Besides, I didn't say anything.”

Bam just made a rude noise and carried on eating. It wasn't till he'd finished the stack that he realised Ville had only eaten one. “Ville, why didn't you stop me?”

“One was plenty for me.”

“Are you sure?” Bam frowned in concern.

“Yeah, I don't eat much.”

“No wonder you're so slim.” Bam slipped his hand under Ville's shirt and tickled his stomach.

“Hey!” Ville squirmed, pushing his hand away. Bam sniggered and pushed forward, sliding both hands down his boyfriend's sides. Ville screeched and grabbed his wrists, trying to push him away. They struggled against each other, giggling stupidly.

Ville fell off his chair and Bam crawled over him, digging his fingers into skinny ribs until Ville was crying with laughter and batting weakly at his hands.

“Please, Bam, please stop.” Ville gasped and Bam finally took pity on him, straightening up and grinning.

Suddenly, Ville grabbed his arms and rolled them over, pinning Bam to ground. Bam yelped in surprise but before he could even struggle, Ville started to tickle him right back. Bam squeaked loudly and laughed as he tried to push Ville away. Finally he gave up, dropping his arms to the floor, tears leaking from his eyes.

Chuckling breathlessly, Ville leaned over him, hands either side of his head and Bam smiled up at him.

“That was a dirty trick.”

Ville nodded. “Yeah.”

There was a tapping noise behind them and a throat cleared. “I seem to be good at interrupting you guys.”

Ville stood quickly and flushed while Bam sat up and glared at his best friend.

“Dunn, what the fuck are you doing here?”

Ryan raised an eyebrow. “Is he this polite with you, Ville?” Ville just grinned and looked down at his feet.

“No ganging up on me.” Bam got to his feet groaning quietly. Getting tickled had done nothing for his ribs. “What's up dude?”

“Wanted to see how you were doing. You coming to school tomorrow?”

Bam pulled a face. ”Yeah. Actually, I've got something to talk to you and the guys about tomorrow.”

“Okay. I, uh, you need to know...” Dunn grimaced and kicked the floor.

Ville shifted closer, putting his hand on Bam's shoulder and squeezing gently.

“What?”

Dunn took a deep breath. “Rake told the whole school.”

“That I'm gay?”

Grimacing, Dunn nodded.

“Man, I can't believe he's being such a dick.” He looked up at Ryan. “How's it been for you and the guys.”

“No worse than usual really, a bit more shit for being weirdoes I guess. I had to kick some ass last week, that dumb jock, Pete called me a fag hag.”

“Fag hag?” Bam snorted, barely biting back a laugh.

“Dude!”

“What? It's funny.”

“Bam.” Ville slipped an arm round his waist and pulled him back against his body. “It's not funny.”

Sobering up before hysteria could get a grip, Bam leaned back against Ville. “I know, sorry. It's just, laugh or cry, you know?”

“Yeah.” Dunn turned to the door. “Anyway, I gotta go, Bam. Ape said to call if you're not going home tonight.”

“Sure, thanks man.”

The door closed behind his friend and Bam dropped his head to his chest.

“You okay?”

“Don't know.” Ville's grip around his waist tightened and his boyfriend pressed a kiss to his neck.

“I'm sorry.”

“Why? If I didn't have you, I'd still be gay.” Bam laughed again, “It just might have taken me a bit longer to work out, that's all.”

“I meant about your friend.”

“Oh yeah, well me too.” Bam twisted round to face his boyfriend. “I thought Rake was my boy, you know?”

“Yeah.” Ville looked sad. “Are you going to stay tonight.?”

“It's up to you, but I'd like to.” Bam smiled hopefully.

“I want you to stay.”

“Your Mom won't mind?”

“No, she likes you.”

Bam smirked. “Well of course she does.”

Laughing, Ville kissed his cheek. “You're so modest.”

“You know it.” Bam felt happier again. “So, what do you want to do?”

“I should be working really.”

“Well that's cool. I don't mind if you want to work.”

“I don't want to.” Ville pulled a face and Bam grinned. “But I'm behind.”

“I guess I could read or something.” Ville raised an eyebrow at him. “Okay, so I won't read.” Bam sniggered at the thought.

“Go on the internet.”

“Don't you need the computer?”

“Not initially, no.” Ville grinned, “I've printed it all out.”

“When did you get a printer?” Bam was surprised.

“Last week. I thought I should.”

“Cool!”

@>*~

VamRPS

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