He'd got his luggage, passed through passport control and now he was approaching the doors that would lead him out into the arrivals hall, doors he'd last walked through nearly five months before. Every step bringing him to this point left him more and more sick with nerves. Four months of email, IM and phonecalls meant he was even more deeply in love with Linde than ever but what if it wasn't how he'd remembered? What if that attraction, that spark, that love wasn't the same as he remembered in person?
Shouldering his bag, fingers clutching at the strap tightly, Ryan took a deep breath and stepped through the doors.
"Dickface!" He turned in time to catch Bam, who'd run and jumped at him, just preventing them both from hitting the floor.
"Dude," he gasped, laughing as Bam gave him a big, sloppy kiss on the cheek. "Don't be so gay, man."
"Oh that's hilarious." Bam snickered at him and out his feet back on the floor. "It's good to see you asswipe."
"Hey, what's with the insults?"
"What's with the lack of visits?" Bam countered.
"Some of us can't afford to fly around all the time."
"Pfft, excuses. Come on man, there's someone here who's desperate to see you." Bam pointed and Ryan looked over, heart missing a beat at the sight of his tall, skinny, gorgeous blond boyfriend who was standing with Mikko and Villle looking intensely nervous.
Shoving his bag at Bam, he strode over quickly until he was standing toe to toe, looking up at his lover. Linde stared at him wide-eyed, lips parting wetly.
"Ryan," he whispered.
"Lily," he replied.
"Oh God." Linde clutched his face, bending and kissing him, lips pressing softly against his. With a moan, he slid his arms up round Linde's neck and clung on tightly. Lips parting under his lover's mouth, his tongue darted out to meet Linde's as he groaned, cock hard and straining already in his pants.
It was like he'd never left, his lover's touch more than familiar, his taste exactly as he'd remembered and yet, everything was different. He hadn't had this for months; phonesex and email-sex didn't come close to even this kiss. He was more in love with this man than ever before, it felt like he knew him as well as if they'd known each other for years instead of months and this simple kiss just confirmed how much he felt.
"Guys, still in the airport here," Mikko sighed.
Gasping quietly, he pulled away, smiling up at his boyfriend. "I missed you."
"I missed you too heila," Linde said, wide smile so beautiful that Ryan had to kiss him again quickly before he let go so he could hug Mikko and Ville in greeting.
"Come on," Bam said, clapping him on the back. "If you two are anything like me and Ville, we'd better get you home fast.
With a roll of his eyes, he slid his arm round Linde's waist and nodded. "Yes, I think that's a very good idea."
Holding each other close, they followed the other three out to the parking lot and the car. It seemed to take forever to get to the new place, Ryan barely heard a word Bam was saying. Every bit of his focus concentrated on the beautiful blond sitting next to him, the scent of him, the heat of him pressed against his side and his thigh, the taste of him still on his lips and the intensity of blue-grey sweeping over his body constantly.
"Dude, we're going to have to leave you guys alone for like a day at least huh?"
"At least," Linde said with a chuckle.
"That had better be a promise Lin'," Ryan said, grinning widely.
"Oh yes." Linde pulled him closer and kissed him again, far too briefly.
"Oh God," Mikko groaned. "I swear I don't know why I thought you two would be any better than Ville and Bam."
"Be nice Migé," Ville said with a shake of his head. "They haven't seen each other in months."
"I know, I know. How've you been Ryan?"
"You know, okay I guess," he said with a shrug, leaning against Linde. "Living with the crew is cool if a bit insane but I missed you guys."
"I should fucking think so," Bam snorted, whacking him on the thigh.
"I haven't missed that, you dick," he grunted, smacking Bam's arm.
"Hey! Baby, Ryan hit me," Bam whined.
"Yes love," Ville chuckled, looking at them in the rearview mirror. "And as usual, you deserved it."
"Baby!" Bam pouted at his husband and Ryan laughed.
"Nothing's changed I see," he said. "Migé, Linde I really don't envy you living with these two."
"You have no idea." Mikko gave a heavy, put-upon sigh. "I swear they get louder over time."
"Migé, my dear, a little unnecessary don't you think?" Ville tutted.
"Oh I do beg your pardon," Mikko said with a snort. "I do get the odd night's uninterrupted sleep, Ryan."
"Not any more," Ryan said with a grin at his boyfriend who smiled softly at him.
The car pulled up and they all piled out, Bam carrying his bag for him when he didn't let go of Linde.
"You'll be wanting the super-speedy tour then," Bam said with a snicker.
Ryan stared. Bam had told him they'd found a house but he hadn't expected an actual, proper, little house. It was tiny but pretty with the beginnings of a garden being constructed out the front, visible under the snow.
"Still gardening Ville?"
"Of course." Ville smiled at him, his arm sliding round Bam's waist to pull his husband close as Mikko unlocked the door.
"Damn I missed you guys."
"Come on in Ryan." They followed Mikko inside and Bam shoved his bag at him.
"At the back is the kitchen, then Mikko's room and the front is the sitting room. Upstairs, the bathroom is at the back, then mine and Ville's room, Linde's is at the front. Right, that's the tour, go," Bam said rapidly, barely taking a breath.
"Thanks man," he said with a chuckle, pushing Linde towards the stairs. His boyfriend didn't need much urging, taking his hand and dragging him up the stairs. Laughter followed them up and they quickly shut the door against it.
"Fuck you're a sight for sore eyes," he said with a wide grin, pulling the older man into his arms.
"You too," Linde said, head bending, lips brushing over his. "Do you need to wash up or anything?"
"Probably should but I don't want to let go of you right now in case it's a dream."
Linde smiled. "It's not a dream. I pinched myself so much I have a bruise."
"Ooh," Ryan said, flicking his eyebrows up. "Can I kiss it better?"
Eyes lighting up, Linde nodded, shoving at his jacket. Ryan pulled back enough to push it off his arms, then leaned back up for another kiss. He couldn't get enough of his lover's taste, almost didn't have the patience to take off any more clothes in his need for the older man. Linde kissed him back urgently, hands dropping to his hips to drag him closer, pushing his hard cock against his own straining erection.
Swinging him round, Linde shoved him up against the door, tongue plunging deep, thigh pressing between his legs to rub against him hard and frantic.
"Fuck," he grunted. "Oh fuck Lily, I missed you." He rocked his hips up hard, the pressure against his groin almost too much. It had been too long since he'd felt this, heart pounding with want, need and love, tall, hot body pressed against his as urgent as he felt, the movement of lips on his, tongue in his mouth. "Oh crap Lily, coming!"
He bucked up hard as his lover humped desperately against him, release flowing through him as he came in his pants. Linde groaned loudly, shuddering, hips jerking against him.
"Wow," he breathed. Linde grinned at him, kissing him briefly before sliding down to his knees in front of him and tugging at his pants. "Lin'?"
"Need to taste you heila," Linde murmured, pushing his pants and underwear down. He looked up for a moment, eyes dark and wide and Ryan shivered, need already starting to harden his dick.
"Please," he gasped.
Leaning forward, Linde licked up the line of his thigh, tongue hot and wet and as amazing as he remembered. Linde licked all round his groin and belly, teasing him until he was panting, cock hard and aching again.
"Lily, I need you, please," he breathed. "Please, I need your cock in me so bad I can taste it."
"Fuck," Linde gasped. "Fuck Ryan." He pulled back and stood up, wrenching sweater and t-shirt over his head in one go. "Clothes off."
Hurriedly, he followed the blond's lead, stripping out of his clothes and getting on the bed. Linde held up a condom, serious for a moment.
"Are you sure?"
"If you trust me, I'm sure," Ryan said softly. They'd talked about protection on the phone, both of them agreeing to get tested as they'd only had sex with each other for a lot longer than six months. They were both clean and he trusted that Linde had been as faithful as he had.
"I trust you," Linde whispered.
"Good." He smiled up at his lover. "Only one thing's been in my ass since I met you and it's just not the same."
"Oh?" Linde picked up the lube and crawled onto the bed beside him looking quizzical.
"Yeah baby." He lay back and spread his legs, taking Linde's hand and pulling it down to his ass. The blond's eyes widened, intake of breath sharp and loud.
"What's that?" he asked, pressing against the disc of silicone at the entrance to his body. Pleasure shot through him and his head dropped back.
"That," he gasped, "is why we won't have to waste time with preparation baby, because as much as I love fingerfucking." He paused, grunting as he pulled the large buttplug he'd been wearing for the past couple of hours from his ass. "I've been doing that to myself and I want your cock. Right now."
"Oh fuck," Linde gasped, stroking lube over his dick quickly. He crawled over Ryan, sliding the head of his cock over the crease of his ass and against the entrance to his body. It felt so fucking good. He arched up, tugging at his lover's hips. With a groan, Linde pushed into him, stretching him wider than the toy, pain burning through his nerves for a moment as he sank all the way into his body.
"Oh... yes," he hissed, legs lifting to wrap round the blond's slender hips. "Fuck Lily, you feel so good inside me."
Linde half-laughed, half-gasped. "So tight, God Ryan, you're so hot." Head dipping, he kissed him, lips pressing hard to his mouth, forcing his lips open, tongue stroking inside. His hips rolled up and back, the slow slide of dick out of his ass making him shudder with a surge of want and need.
Hips snapping forward, Linde buried himself deep and hard and Ryan cried out helplessly, pleasure flooding his body.
"Yes Lily, fuck me please, need you so bad," he groaned, bucking up against his lover, gripping his shoulders tightly. Fingers sank almost painfully into one asscheek, heaving him up, Linde's cock pushing deeper into his body. Linde withdrew slowly again, rubbing against his prostate the whole way, heat coursing through every fibre, dick jerking helplessly against the blond's stomach, then he thrust hard into him again.
"Lily! Please!"
"Sure?"
"Yes I'm fucking sure, fuck me so hard I can't walk, I need it."
Linde groaned, head dropping, mouth open and panting against his shoulder as he started to thrust in and out of his ass, long, slow strokes that just weren't enough to slake his desperate need. He clenched down hard around Linde's cock and his lover cried out, voice muffled against his shoulder. His hips jerked and he lost his rhythm, pounding into Ryan's ass deep and hard, matching the aching urgency growing in his groin.
"Yeah baby, fuck me," he grunted, thrusting up into every stroke, desperate to come, to feel his lover come inside him. "Lily, so close," he panted, hand sliding between their writhing bodies to jack himself hard. "Bite me baby."
"Oh fuck." Linde groaned, fucking him even harder as his mouth closed over his shoulder, teeth pressing in hard. Sharp pain shot through his body, sending him over the edge into ecstacy. He came hard over his hand, body convulsing and jerking against his lover.
Moaning loudly, Linde thrust deep into him, shaking as he filled him with hot wetness, then collapsed on top of him.
"Damn Lin'," he gasped, reaching up to clasp the back of his lover's neck gently. "I forgot how good this really is."
"Yeah," Linde agreed softly, pressing a kiss to the sensitive flesh he'd bitten. He lifted his head and smiled. "Did I hurt you?"
"Only the way I wanted you to, Lin'," he said, smiling back. Linde kissed him gently and eased back slowly. He grunted from the loss then chuckled quietly at the odd sensation of come trickling out of his ass.
"What?" Linde asked, a small crease forming between his eyebrows.
"It's messier not using condoms."
"Yeah." Linde looked down between his legs and giggled. "Feels better though."
"Yeah."
"Maybe we should clean up."
"Shower?"
"Well actually..." Linde grinned at him and shifted back on the bed. "I was thinking more along the lines of doing it myself."
Ryan blinked widely. "Lily?"
Expression darkening, Linde pushed his legs back and lay down between them. Fingers stroked along the lines of his ass then his lover licked him, hot tongue running over his hole, cleaning away the come leaking slowly from him.
"Oh fuck," he gasped, dick twitching with the slick probe of tongue into his ass, lightning electrifying his nerves with need all over again. "Oh Lily, feels so good."
Licking harder and deeper, Linde reached up, come-slick fingers tracing over his lips. He sucked Linde's fingers into his mouth, lapping over the tips, tasting his lover and himself, moaning as his cock started to harden again.
"Lin'," he gasped urgently. "Need you baby."
Linde shifted up, lifting his head. "Guess you really missed me."
"Fuck yes!"
The blond smiled, replacing his tongue with two fingers, leaning over to lick up the length of his cock.
"Oh baby, please," he begged.
"Want me to suck you Ryan?"
"Please!"
"I can't believe you're hard again," Linde said with a touch of wonder.
"Baby, you rimmed me!" He almost laughed, clutching at Linde's dreads urgently, clenching down around the fingers in his ass.
"True." Linde smirked at him, flicking his tongue over the tip of his dick then sucking him down. His mouth was warm, wet and tight around him, tongue lapping the underside of his cock firmly as he sank all the way down, fingers stroking in and out of his ass quickly. Eyes fluttering shut, his head dropped back with the intensity of sensation flowing through his body.
"You're so good at this Lily," he panted, hips rocking slowly, thrusting up into his lover's mouth. Linde moaned, swallowing hard before slowly sucking back up his cock and then swallowing him down again, plunging his fingers deep and rubbing up against his prostate.
"Lily, fuck Lily!" He rocked hard between fingers and mouth, please slamming down through his body and releasing in his groin. He came yet again, spurting down his lover's throat, body shaking helplessly.
Gasping for breath, he tugged at his lover. "Lin' come here please," he whispered. The older man kissed his belly and eased his fingers free, before sliding up his body.
"You okay, heila?"
"Yeah," he said softly, reaching up to stroke his lover's cheek. "It's so good to see you Lin'."
Linde smiled. "Yeah." He lay down next to him, arm slipping round his waist.
"Lin'?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
His lover somehow seemed to relax even more against him, sighing happily. "I love you too, Ryan."
He stirred to the sound of his best friend begging Ville to fuck him harder and groaned quietly. Linde was stroking his hair gently and he snuggled closer.
"What time is it?"
"Seven."
"Morning or evening?"
Linde chuckled. "Evening, don't worry, you haven't been asleep long."
"Good, don't want to lose too much time..." he paused as the other couple got louder and he chuckled. "Man, how do you put up with that?"
"This is louder than usual," Linde said, laughing quietly. "And they are actually quite good at keeping it down at night."
"Really?"
"Well, Migé had to threaten to tie them up at opposite ends of the house before they really made an effort," Linde said, smirking at him. "But during the day all bets are off."
"I'm sure."
"Well, they are still catching up after most of December apart."
"You're far too accomodating Lin'."
"No, I just understand," Linde said softly, his expression saddening a little.
"Linde," Ryan sighed, leaning up to kiss his boyfriend gently.
"I know, sorry." Linde took a deep breath and smiled. "I'm so happy you're here, Ryan."
"Me too, Lin'." He kissed him again, stroking the backs of his fingers up the blond's sharp cheekbone. "I almost forgot how beautiful you are."
Linde flushed, eyes dropping even as he smiled.
"I need a shower." He kissed Linde quickly and sat up. "Want to share?"
"Yeah." Linde nodded. "We'd better hurry if we're going to beat Ville and Bam."
"Fuck that's true. Do they still have sex when they shower?"
"Oh yes, every time." Linde grabbed a couple of towels from the closet, throwing one to him and wrapping the other round his waist. "Come on, they're almost there."
"How do you know?"
"Because I can hear Ville. He gets louder the closer he gets to coming and Bam pretty much always comes first."
"Dude." Ryan laughed helplessly. "That is so wrong."
"Migé would be able to tell you the same thing," Linde said, giggling at him. "He'd just never admit it." He held out his hand and Ryan took it with a happy sigh, getting up. He briefly let go but only for as long as it took him to wrap his towel round his waist.
"Come on Lin'."
With a grin, Linde squeezed his hand and dragged him out of the room, across the hall and into the bathroom, locking the door behind them. They dumped their towels on the radiator and climbed into the bath. Linde switching on the electric shower. He back Ryan under the spray and grinned as his hair plastered to his scalp.
"Come here." He pulled Linde up against him, sliding his arms round his slim waist and clasping his ass. The warm water pounded down over them and he held his lover tightly, still a little unable to believe he was really there, that Linde was really in his arms.
"This feels good," he murmured.
"Yeah." Linde lifted a hand to scratch his beard gently, tipping his chin up to kiss him, sweet and soft. "Feels really good heila."
He could feel Linde's cock hardening against his stomach and he tugged harder, kissing him deeper. "You taste so good, Lin'," he whispered. "I want to taste more."
With a smile at Linde's small gasp, he slid down his long, lean body to kneel in front of him. He glanced up, meeting his boyfriend's wide, beautiful gaze a little nervously. He hadn't done this in a while and he hadn't exactly been practiced but he did remember how much he'd loved to do it for his boyfriend.
Sliding his hands up slim thighs, he pushed Linde's legs a little further apart and leaned forward to lick up the length of his cock. Salt and musk exploded onto his tongue, as amazing as he'd remembered and he moaned quietly, his own dick pulsing with a surge of lust.
"Oh God Lily." He sighed happily and gripped his lover's hips tightly, burying his face in his groin, lapping round the length of Linde's shaft and up over the tip until his lover was panting.
"Ryan please," Linde begged, hips bucking against his hands.
"Yeah Lily," he breathed. He smiled up at his lover and pulled him forward so the water was flowing down his back instead of into his face. Leaning in, he carefully sucked the head of his dick into his mouth, sliding his tongue around to taste more precome. His lover's soft whimper made his dick harden and he sucked harder, sliding his mouth further down, moaning quietly. He couldn't take him very deep but he tightened his lips and sucked hard as he slid back up, swallowing awkwardly before he sank back down, pushing a little further along Linde's shaft and swallowing again.
It was still a little insane to him sometimes that he was actually sucking another guy's cock, let alone that with Linde he enjoyed it. But he did. He enjoyed the feel of Linde's dick in his mouth, the taste of him. He loved hearing moans and pants and gasps, feeling Linde strain against his hands. If he had a little more confidence, he'd let go, let Linde thrust into his mouth. He sort of wanted the older man to fuck his face, the thought made his dick jerk and he had to let go of one hip to drop his hand to his cock. Jacking himself quickly, he sucked hard, sliding his mouth up and down Linde's cock faster.
"Oh fuck Ryan," Linde gasped pushing urgently against his hand. "Harder heila, so close."
Moaning, he swallowed and sank a little further onto his boyfriend's dick, licking hard, fist moving faster as his groin tightened with need. His lover was so fucking hot and he wanted to feel him come, taste him, swallow him down.
"Ryan, oh fuck, Ryan!" Linde cried out, hips bucking against him, dick pulsing against his tongue as he shot into his mouth. He swallowed quickly before pulling back to rest his forehead on Linde's hip, jacking himself faster and harder, desperate to come again.
"God heila," Linde gasped breathlessly. "You're so hot. I love to watch you touch yourself, I love to watch you come. Look at me, I want to see your face when you come."
"Oh fuck Lily," he groaned, looking up, meeting his lover's hot, glazed gaze.
"I want to suck your fingers clean when you come for me, Ryan... come for me, Ryan."
"Fuck!" Tension exploded in his groin and he bucked into his tight fist, coming hard yet again. Linde sank down next to him and took his hand, licking every finger thoroughly then kissing his palm. Feeling his chest tighten with happiness, he leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to his lover's cheek.
"Thank you."
"What for heila?"
Ryan shrugged. "You just constantly amaze me, that's all."
Flushing lightly, Linde stood and drew him to his feet. "Well I, you taste good too you know."
"Really?" He raised an eyebrow dubiously.
"Yeah." Linde clasped his cheek and kissed him, tongue pushing into his mouth so he could taste himself. "See?" he murmured, pulling away again.
"That's kinda weird," he said with a snicker.
"You think?"
"A little yeah."
"You'd never tasted your come on your own?"
"Never thought to try really." He leaned against the older man, stroking his chest gently.
"Weren't you curious?"
"Lin' you forget, I was in denial for a long time, tasting my own come probably seemed a little..." he sighed and shrugged.
"Gay?"
He grimaced ruefully. "Yeah. Sorry."
"Don't be," Linde sighed. "It wasn't till I broke my heart over Ville leaving that I finally admitted to myself that I was gay."
"Did it really break your heart?" Ryan asked quietly, not exactly jealous of Ville but feeling a little strange about it nonetheless.
"At the time it felt like it," Linde said, pressing a kiss to his temple. "It was more the fact that I was losing one of my best friends who I happened to have a crush on."
"Yeah I can see that. It's hard enough not seeing Bam, at least I never had a crush on him and I know he's safe and happy, plus I get to talk to him all the time."
"Things worked out pretty well." Linde smiled despite a slight sadness to his tone, but before he could question his lover, Bam hammered on the door.
"Hey guys! Bathrooms are our fetish."
"Bam, leave them alone," Ville exclaimed.
"But baby, I want to suck you off in the shower before dinner," Bam whined.
"Appetiser while you shower Bambam?" Ryan shouted.
"Hell yeah!"
He laughed, holding onto his lover tightly. "Come on then Lin' we don't want to deny them huh?" He climbed out of the bath. Linde snickered and switched off the water, climbing out with him.
"No, Bam will sulk."
"I heard that," Bam said, pout audible in his voice. "I do not sulk."
"Darling," Ville said with a chuckle. "Don't pout."
"I'm not baby, I just want a shower, I'm sticky."
"Dude." Ryan wrapped a towel round his waist, waiting for Linde to do the same before opening the door. "Too much information."
Bam gave him a dirty grin and shrugged. "Like you don't know everything already."
"No, I don't, thank God," he snorted. "Let's leave them to it, Lin'."
"Yeah." Linde grinned at them. "See you later boys, be good."
"Shyeah right," Bam said with a loud snort. "Come on lover." He grabbed Ville's hand and pushed past them.
"Sorry," Ville murmured as Bam poked his tongue out at them and shut the door.
They paused long enough to hear the water switch back on and Ville groan loudly, then they quickly went back to the bedroom to dry off and get dressed.
"Man, those two really don't ever stop, do they?" he said, putting the towel down and pulling on clean t-shirt and boxers.
"Pretty much no." Linde smiled. "You should see them after a gig or after Bam's been skating though, now that's bad."
"I'll bet." He dragged on his jeans and sat down on the bed. Linde sat down next to him dressed only in his shorts and he shifted closer, kissing a beautiful, bare shoulder, tempted to strip off again and pull the blond back into bed.
"Let's go keep Migé company for a while," Linde murmured, leaning into him. Ryan lifted his head and kissed him gently.
"Okay," he said softly. "You'd better get dressed so you're marginally less tempting."
Linde chuckled. "Tempting?"
"Oh yeah baby," he stroked his lover's chest. "All that skin on show, it's all I can do not to touch you, kiss you." He kissed Linde gently. "Lick you."
"Ryan," Linde gasped, kissing him hard, tongue pushing into his mouth deeply. Moaning, he kissed back urgently, a surge of want tightening his groin until his lover pulled back with a gasp.
"I'd better get dressed."
Easing away reluctantly, he nodded. "Maybe that would be best... for now anyway."
Linde chuckled quietly and kissed him far too briefly, getting up to pull on jeans and a sleeveless Stooges t-shirt. Ryan stared and swallowed hard.
"That uh..." he paused to clear his throat. "Really not helping with the temptation Lin'."
Frowning at him in confusion, Linde flicked his top. "You're kidding? This?"
"Yeah," he breathed, licking his lips and standing up to grab his boyfriend and drag him forward into a desperately hard kiss. "Fuck Linde you are so completely beautiful," he gasped, cupping his cheek gently, smiling at his lover's shy look of disbelief. He wrapped his arms round his neck.
"So beautiful, my Lily," he whispered, kissing him gently, reverently, emotion overwhelming him so completely he had to bite back back tears. "I love you."
"I love you too," Linde whispered, breath hitching quietly as he held him tightly.
They clung together, Ryan burying his face in his lover's chest and inhaling deeply, needing to experience as much as possible, fill his senses, make beautiful memories.
"Come on heila," Linde said quietly. "Or we'll never make it out of the room."
"If I wasn't getting hungry, I'd be making you promise me that."
Chuckling, Linde kissed his forehead and pulled back. "Let's get you some food then maybe I will promise you that."
"Best of both worlds then."
"Come on." Linde held out his hand and he took it, letting his boyfriend lead him back down the stairs and into the sitting room where Mikko was watching TV.
He looked up in surprise. "Am I hallucinating?"
"Nope." Ryan sat down, pulling Linde down next to him. They now had two couches, both small two-seaters, and the same large squashy armchair from before. There was a bigger TV, a new DVD player and a much nicer stereo system in one corner and the walls were plastered with music posters.
"This is very cool."
"We think so," Mikko said with a chuckle. "Not that we're taking advantage of his habit of buying stuff but Bam is responsible for most of this."
"Oh take advantage," he snorted. "He'll buy stuff anyway, might as well get some input."
"True." Mikko smiled at them. "So come on guys, why am I being blessed with your presence instead of your soundtrack?"
"What, Ville and Bam aren't enough for you?"
"Oh they're too much for me most of the time," Mikko said with a chuckle. "But guys I really wasn't expecting you to emerge so soon."
"I don't think we'll be hanging around for very long, no offence Mige."
"None taken. You guys hungry is it?"
"Oh yeah."
"Thought that might be it." Mikko grinned at them. "How about Chinese?"
"Lin'?"
Linde nodded, leaning closer to him and resting his head on his shoulder. "It's your first night heila, your choice."
"Chinese it is then." He grinned as Mikko threw a menu at them and got up.
"I'll just call the boys down."
"Okay." He opened the menu so his lover could translate for him while Mikko yelled up the stairs.
"Ville! Bam! We're ordering Chinese, you'd better get down here soon if you want any."
"We're getting dressed man, don't get your panties in a bunch," Bam yelled back with a giggle.
"Just hurry up."
"Yes Sir!"
Mikko walked back in, shaking his head.
"He still calling you sir?"
"Yeah but only in the most sarcastic way," Mikko said with a snort as he sat back down.
"Oh of course." He shook his head and slid his arm round Linde's shoulders to pull him tight to his body. Footsteps thundered down the stairs and Bam burst in. He ran over behind the couch and wrapped his arms round them both.
"You guys are too fucking cute," he laughed.
"I told you before Bambam, I am not, in any sense of the word, cute."
"Sure you are." Bam grinned and kissed his temple, then Linde's.
"Where's Ville?"
"Bathroom, he wants his usual veggie thing and the broccoli with garlic."
"What do you want?"
"Usual." Bam flung himself onto the other couch, lounging lazily.
"I'm ordering then, am I?" Mikko said, rolling his eyes.
"Well I can't, that guy speaks Finnish with a Chinese accent, I don't stand a chance at understanding him."
"True."
"How is your Finnish Bam?"
His friend pulled a face. "Not good and these assholes don't help, laughing at my accent all the time."
"We can't help it darling," Ville said with a chuckle as he entered the room. "You just sound funny sometimes." He sat next to Bam, leaning against his husband and sighing happily when the younger man wrapped his arms round him.
"It's not very encouraging though is it?"
"Made your choices guys?" Mikko asked, ignoring the other couple.
"Yeah." Ryan and Linde quickly told him what they wanted and he left the room to phone in the order.
"So come on guys, any news? We haven't talked about the band in ages, how's that going?"
"Oh they are so good," Bam sighed.
"I know that much dorkface."
"We're getting signed," Linde said softly. "We start recording our first album in a couple of months."
Heart pounding, he smiled at his lover and kissed him. "That's fantastic Lin'."
"What's fantastic?" Mikko asked coming back into the room.
"Getting signed."
"Oh yeah." Mikko grinned smugly, sitting back down. "Not bad considering this version of the band's only been together for a month."
"Oh?"
"New keyboard player."
"What happened with Juska?"
"Nothing, his girlfriend wanted him to get a real job, that's all."
"So who's the new guy?"
"He's an old friend actually, we went to school together," Mikko said.
"We call him Burton," Linde said.
"Why?"
"It's his bandname dude, like Migé, Lily and Gas," Bam said.
"How come Ville doesn't have a bandname?" Ryan asked, raising an eyebrow at the other couple.
"I already have a cool name," Ville said with a sniff.
"Isn't Burton's name cool enough then?"
Bam grimaced and shook his head.
"It's Janne," Linde murmured.
"Oh." Ryan bit his lip, glancing over at Ville.
"It's fine," Ville said with a slightly tight smile. "I'm over it but it's still easier to call him Burton, you know?"
"Sure." Ryan nodded slowly. It was still a sore point for him that he hadn't been able to beat the crap out of the man who'd abused and raped Ville and beaten and tried to rape Bam. He wanted to ask if they knew what had happened to Janne but he didn't want to dwell on the subject. He'd have to ask Linde later.
"So he's fitting in well then?"
"Yeah, he's great," Bam said, glancing over and winking at him. "Cute too."
"And straight may I remind you," Ville said huffily, pulling himself out of his husband's arms. Linde and Mikko laughed and Ryan shook his head, grinning as Bam pulled Ville right back into a hug and kissed him thoroughly.
"Like I'd look at anyone else when I've got you baby," Bam said softly. "You know I'm just teasing you."
"Well don't, it's not nice Bam love." Ville pouted until Bam kissed him again, harder, cupping his cheek and sliding his tongue into his mouth.
Sighing, Ryan looked away quickly. He was far too horny already just from sitting next to his boyfriend, the feel of his warm body next to his, the smell of clean skin and soap, watching the other couple getting hot and heavy with each other was no help. Especially when Ville moaned softly and there was the sound of bodies moving.
Ville and Bam had absolutely no compunction making out in public let alone at home with friends and it made him a little jealous in a very odd way because he almost wished he could be so free with Linde but he wasn't quite as exhibitionist and his lover was even less so. Linde's grip tightened round his hand and he glanced up, almost surprised to see a slightly glazed expression of lust in blue-grey eyes.
"They're not helping are they?"
"No," Linde murmured.
"Huh?" Bam pulled away from Ville's mouth, looking over in confusion. "What are you talking about?"
"You two over there in pornland," he snorted. "You're ruining my appetite."
Bam looked insulted. "We were just kissing."
"There's no such thing as just kissing when it comes to you two."
"But we were still only kissing Dunn, don't be a fricking ass."
"Bam love, don't."
"But baby he..."
"Actually we were both getting turned on and I want Ryan to eat something before I lock him up in my room for the next twenty-four hours," Linde interrupted him.
"Twenty-four? Is that all Lin'?"
"Well, you'll need to give your ass a break eventually dude," Bam said with a snicker.
"Okay, enough or my appetite's going to be ruined," Mikko sighed, glaring at them semi-seriously.
"Sorry Mimi," Bam said with a laugh.
"Urgh," Mikko grunted. "You brat, Ville can't you control him?"
"Only with promises of sexual favours and I thought you didn't want to ruin your appetite Mige," Ville replied smartly.
Ryan snickered. "He got you there Mik."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Mikko scowled and crossed his arms over his chest.
Bam leaned into Ville and whispered something in his ear before kissing his neck. Ville shifted, clearing his throat and murmuring something back to his husband.
"Boys, be good," Mikko warned.
"For now Migé." Bam grinned at them before nuzzling Ville's neck again.
Mikko opened his mouth just as the doorbell rang. "Saved by the bell."
"Need some money, Migé?" Ryan offered.
"Don't be ridiculous," Mikko said with a wink. "Bam's paying."
"What?" Bam exclaimed, dragging his attention away from Ville again. "Why me?"
"Ryan's your friend, you should treat him."
"Yeah and he's Lily's boyfriend, why can't he treat him?"
"I already have," Linde said with a slightly smug grin, despite flushed cheeks.
"Damn right he has," he chuckled, nudging his lover.
Bam made a rude noise. "He's everyone's friend, you're all just cheap." He tugged his wallet from his jeans and unclipped the chain, throwing it at Mikko.
"Hey!" Mikko just caught it before it hit him in the face. Bam stuck out his tongue and giggled.
"Go pay then."
"Fine, but I'm giving him a big tip."
"Whatever." Bam flipped him off as he left the room. "You guys abuse me," he said with a sniff.
"If I know you, and I do," Ryan laughed. "You love it." Bam pouted at him. "Please, you'd be hurt if you couldn't take care of your friends."
"Well I..."
"He's right sweetheart," Ville said softly. "You've got such a generous soul."
"Aw baby, I don't know, it's just being friends."
"Darling, you built me a computer when you barely knew me."
"He did?" Linde asked, getting up to help Mikko as he brought in the box of food and some cutlery.
"Yeah but come on baby, you were mad at me, I just wanted to make it up to you."
"You never told me that," Ryan said.
"Well you didn't know about Ville then, did you?"
"True."
"I was your dirty little secret," Ville laughed.
"You were not," Bam snorted, shoving his husband's shoulder.
"Did Bambam have a crush?" Ryan asked in a singsong voice.
"Yeah," Bam rolled his eyes, "I was almost as big a dork as you were with Linde."
"Ah fuck you man." Shaking his head, he couldn't help remembering the insane intensity of his crush on Linde when they'd first met and how quickly it had developed into real feelings. Feelings so strong they still terrified him. He leaned against his lover, turning to kiss his cheek before accepting his food from Mikko.
"Can we just eat?" Mikko sighed. "I don't need to be reminded."
Bam chuckled. "Of what? Linde's ass?"
"Shut up Bam," Linde said, laughing before he buried his face in Ryan's neck.
"Yeah, shut up Bam," Mikko said firmly. "No more talking about asses while we're eating."
"Oh fine," Bam snickered, digging into his meal, catching Ville's eye and mouthing a spring roll suggestively.
"Dude," Ryan said, trying not to laugh. "Seriously wrong."
"What?" Bam widened his eyes in an attempt at guilelessness.
"Does that ever work?"
"What? Seducing Ville or trying to look innocent?" Bam asked, giggling.
"Like you ever have trouble seducing Ville," Mikko snorted.
"Hey, I'm the one with self-control," Ville exclaimed.
"You so are not," Bam retorted.
"Yes I am."
"If I recall correctly, Ville," Linde said. "You were the one who lost that bet."
"By about two seconds."
"You still lost baby."
"You were wet and sweaty," Ville said a little sulkily.
"Guys, seriously," Mikko sighed.
"You must have a pretty strong stomach by now huh Migé?"
"You'd think," Mikko said with a small laugh. "I think this is a new low."
"We're not that bad."
"No, you're worse."
"Aw Mizzee, you don't mean that really do you?"
"Only in the nicest way possible Bammie," Mikko said.
"Big meanie."
"Yeah, I'm always the meanie," Mikko sighed.
"Someone has to be, at least you're a nice meanie," Ryan said, grinning softly. It really was nice to be back. He'd known he'd miss them all, especially Bam and Linde but he hadn't realised till he'd come back how much he'd missed just hanging out, the five of them, so comfortable and close. It was so different to hanging out with the crew, he didn't have to worry about what he said, worry about anyone finding out anything. It was more open and honest and, even with Bam present, somehow more grown up.
"Nice meanie? No way dude, he's bad, bad Mizzee," Bam said, reaching out with his foot to poke Mikko's leg. "And you love it Mige so no moaning."
"Okay, okay."
"This is so great guys," Ryan said happily. "I've missed you."
"We missed you too," Ville said softly.
"Yeah," Linde agreed, kissing him quickly.
@>*~
After more banter and finally finishing their food, Linde stood up.
"If you don't see us for a while well... tough, don't disturb."
"No problem Lily, we understand, you know that," Bam said.
"Yeah."
Ryan stood and took his lover's hand. "Come on Lin', I think we've been sociable enough for today."
"Definitely."
"Good night guys." They were followed out of the room by a chorus to goodnights.
They ran up the stairs, taking turns in the bathroom to get ready for bed and avoid the need to leave the bedroom as much as possible.
When he went into the bedroom, he found Linde sitting on the edge of the bed in his boxers, dreads cascading over his shoulders. He looked so beautiful and sexy, his heart stuttered and hot need tightened his groin.
"Lily," he breathed, closing the door and hurrying to the bed, dropping to his knees in front of him, overwhelmed momentarily with emotion. Wrapping his arms round Linde's waist, he buried his face in his lap.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing Lin', I'm just happy."
Linde tipped his chin up, meeting his eyes in concern. "Are you sure?"
Kneeling up, Ryan kissed him, a soft press of lips that grew harder as the blond moaned softly, mouth opening under his to encourage the probe of his tongue. It wasn't an answer but he couldn't look into his lover's eyes and lie.
He was happy, just not completely. He couldn't explain why and he didn't want to think about it, not when he'd just got there and should be enjoying his limited time with Linde.
So he kissed his lover, hard and desperate, pushing up off his knees to push him back onto the bed. Stroking a hand down slender ribs, he pushed at his lover's boxers urgently. The taste and feel of him reduced him to sheer need and he pulled back so he could take off Linde's underwear.
"Ryan," Linde gasped, staring up at him wide-eyed.
"I need you so bad," he whispered, standing up so he could strip off his clothes quickly. He stood over his lover, eyes sweeping over rangy limbs, pale skin and gorgeous, hard cock dripping precome steadily onto his stomach. He groaned quietly, desperate once again to feel that cock buried deep in his body.
Climbing over his lover, he reached for the lube that had been discarded on one side of the bed. Bending to kiss the blond again, he squeezed gel onto his fingers, sliding a hand between his legs to stroke over his lover's cock.
"Oh, oh God Ryan," Linde gasped into his mouth, hips rocking up under his touch.
"I want you."
"Please," Linde moaned, writhing, clutching at his hips. "Heila, I need to fuck you."
Cock jerking needily, he sat back up, pushing his ass back against the head of Linde's dick, impaling himself slowly. Trembling against the pleasurable pain of being stretched wide with little preparation, he sat all the way down and stopped, eyes sliding closed in satisfaction. Linde was inside him again, filling him up and it was so fucking good.
"Fuck, Lily," he groaned, shifting carefully, his ass clenching and relaxing convulsively as he adjusted to the thick length inside him. Linde groaned loudly, hands gripping his hips tightly.
"Ryan," Linde gasped. "So hot!" He rocked his hips up, yanking down on Ryan's hips to plunge even deeper inside him.
"Fuck baby, that's so good," he moaned, leaning over and staring down at his lover with an open mouthed smile as he panted for breath. He rolled his hips to feel the slide of dick from his body, the press against his prostate sending shocks of pleasure through every nerve. Linde yanked him back down hard, slamming deep into his body.
"Fuck," he grunted, cock jerking and spurting precome as his need grew. He bent down for a quick kiss then sat back, bracing one hand on his lover's chest, wrapping his erection in a tight grip with the other.
"I'm gonna ride you Lily," he muttered, hips rocking back and forth, body shuddering with pleasure as Linde's dick slid in and out of him and he jacked himself. "Fuck myself on your cock until I come all over you."
"Oh God!" Linde gasped, thrusting up into every roll of his hips, fingers digging into his flesh painfully. "Yes Ryan, please, you feel so good."
"Yeah baby," he said with a shiver of lust, tension building in the pit of his stomach, need tightening his groin. He pushed back into every stroke, harder and harder, fist tightening round his cock to jack himself, desperate now to come, to feel his lover fill him with hot come all over again.
"Lily, need... oh fuck," he groaned. Linde wrapped his hand over his, squeezing tightly. "Oh fuck!" Hot pleasure erupted in his groin, spreading through his whole body in waves as he shot over his lover's chest, ass rippling round his cock.
"Oh Ryan," Linde whimpered, thrusting harder into him. "Oh fuck Ryan!" He arched up against him, spurting into him, the heat of his come intense without a condom. He felt an aftershock of pleasure wring out of him and with a gasp, he collapsed on top of his lover.
"Damn you're so hot, Lily."
Chuckling softly, Linde stroked his back, fingertips tracing random patterns over his heaving ribs.
"I love you," Linde whispered, so quietly, Ryan barely heard him. He pressed a kiss to sweaty skin and looked up with a smile.
"I love you too."
Linde looked momentarily startled, eyes sliding away from his face as he seemed to pale slightly.
"Are you okay Lin'?"
"Yeah just..." Linde stopped and cleared his throat.
"What?"
"Didn't think you'd hear me."
"I..." Ryan frowned in confusion. "Why did you say it then?"
"Because," Linde sighed and looked away again, "I love to say it."
"Well I love to hear you say it Linde, so is it really so bad that I heard you?"
"No, it's not bad." The blond's eyes slid closed and he sighed again. "It was unexpected that's all."
"I still don't get why that's a problem."
"It's not a problem Ryan, can we just drop it now?" Linde pushed him off his body and rolled onto his side, facing away from him, back muscles taut with tension. Swallowing worriedly, very confused and too uncertain to push his lover, Ryan slid up behind him and kissed his shoulder before wrapping an arm round his waist.
"I'm sorry, I'll shut up now," he whispered.
"Just hold me please," Linde whispered.
"That I can definitely do." He slipped his other arm under Linde's neck so he could clasp him tightly to his chest. Kissing his beautiful shoulder again, he buried his face in his neck and inhaled the scent of fresh sweat and sex and the sweetness of his boyfriend. He still had no idea what had just happened or why Linde seemed so upset but he also had no idea what to say, how to approach the blond to understand without making it worse.
He sighed softly, pulling his lover even closer. The last thing he wanted was an argument, especially over saying I love you.
"Linde," he whispered.
The blond sighed quietly. "I'm sorry."
"No, it's okay," Ryan said, shifting back on the bed and gently easing his lover onto his back so he could stroke his cheek. "I should probably say it more often but I love you so much it scares me."
"Scares you?" Linde looked a little confused and hurt.
"Lin', I'm eighteen years old and I'm fucking crazy about you, doesn't that scare you?"
"Yes," Linde whispered. "Yes it scares me, it scares me how much I love you because..."
"Because?"
"Being apart hurts Ryan, no matter how much we talked, emailed, whatever, it didn't change the fact that you weren't here."
"I'm sorry Lin'," he whispered. "You know I couldn't have stayed."
"Sometimes I knew that heila, sometimes I just wished we were together."
"Yeah," he said with a nod, stroking his fingertips over his brow gently. "Me too Lily."
Making a tiny noise in the back of his throat, Linde cupped his cheek and leaned in, kissing him softly, a little urgently as tears streamed silently down his cheeks.
"Don't cry, Lin', please," he murmured against his lover's mouth, carefully wiping away the tears. "I just got here, I don't want to upset you already."
"Already?"
Smiling ruefully, he shook his head. "I don't want to upset you at all but I have. I know we might argue or have disagreements. I mean it's hard, because we never see each other, to know what you're thinking sometimes. I don't want to hurt you, I just want you to know that I love you."
"Just show me," Linde whispered, pulling him over and on top of him.
His heart stuttered. "Lily?"
"I want you inside me heila, I want to feel you deep inside me, loving me, possessing me."
"Oh God." Heated desire speared his body from his groin straight up his spine making all the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. He met his lover's eyes and nodded. "Yes, I want you so much."
Bending his head he captured Linde's mouth in an urgent, deep kiss, trying to convey his feelings in a touch, trying to show him just how much he wanted him. He sucked on lips and tongue gently, caressing his arm and chest with one hand as he clasped soft dreads with the other to pull Linde up into a deeper kiss. Linde moaned, moving under him, arching into his touch as he kissed back hard. One hand clutched his hair, the other scratched and grasped at his back, holding him close.
Despite the edge of desperation to their kisses, their touches, Ryan wasn't about to hurry, he wanted to enjoy this as much as possible. He'd only taken his lover a couple of times because he'd become so obsessed with feeling Linde fuck him, it almost didn't occur to him sometimes. But when it did, he remembered how good it felt to be buried deep inside the tight, velvet heat of his gorgeous boyfriend.
Rocking slowly against his lover, Ryan kissed him softly, reverently, fingers stroking over smooth skin, exploring ribs, waist and hip and sliding up a long, lean thigh. Gasping softly, Linde clasped him more urgently, one leg hooking over his hips to pull him even closer.
"Ryan please," he breathed, the strain in his voice making his cock pulse needily. He slid his hand down the back of Linde's thigh to his ass, feathering fingertips over the crease a little teasingly before dipping between his asscheeks, rubbing gently over the entrance to his body.
"Oh heila, yes," Linde gasped, bucking up againt him. "Please Ryan, I need you inside me."
"Soon Lily," he murmured, pushing harder against his lover's ass before pulling away again to kiss him. He needed to find the lube, needed to make sure he prepared his boyfriend carefully. Linde pressed the tube into his hand, meeting his gaze with a hot, wide-eyed, pleading look, blue-grey stormy with lust.
"Please," Linde whispered.
Sheer want and need tightened groin and ass until he shuddered and his dick jerked, spurting precome steadily. With a groan, he slicked his fingers quickly and leaned back over so he could kiss his lover hard and deep, tongue probing, tasting, lips sucking urgently. A long leg slung round him again and he slid his hand back down between his cheeks to stroke up and down the line of his ass.
The blond writhed against him, fingers digging into his shoulder and hip, mouth open against his, panting for breath. The feel of him, the sound of him was so sexy, Ryan was having trouble controlling himself. He stopped rocking and carefully pushed a finger into the tightness of his lover, so hot, his groan mirrored Linde's. His boyfriend bucked up, pushing against his finger.
"Ryan, more," he gasped into his mouth.
"Easy Lily," Ryan moaned, kissing him again, stroking his finger rapidly in and out of his body, rubbing firmly against his prostate.
"But I need you."
"I need you too Lin'," he murmured, sliding his lips along his lover's jaw to press a soft, sucking kiss under his ear. He eased a second finger into his boyfriend, working him open more quickly, stretching, stroking, thrusting deeply until the whimpering gasps and frantic rocking of the older man was just too much. He reared back, spreading more lube over his painfully hard cock, taking a moment to just look at his boyfriend, trying to regain a measure of control.
"Can't wait to feel you come inside me," Linde said softly, reaching down to take hold of Ryan's dick, rubbing gently.
"Won't last that long if you keep doing that."
Linde tugged gently, pulling him over his body and pushing his cock down between his cheeks. Their eyes locked together, Linde smiling and panting as he pushed into him, one slow, strong thrust that took him deep into his lover's body. Linde's ass rippled round him and he groaned. It was so intense, silken heat squeezing all round him. He bit his lip, staring down at his beautiful lover, and eased back so he could thrust into his body again. Linde gasped, clutching at him, ass squeezing down.
"You okay?"
"Oh God yes," Linde groaned, hips rolling back then thrusting up into him, sending a pulse of pleasure through his whole body. Shuddering, Ryan lay on top of Linde and kissed him hard, grasping his hip tightly to rock deep into him, strokes as slow and deep as he could manage, wanting to give his lover as much pleasure as possible.
Linde's long legs wrapped round him, holding him tight to his body, as he thrust up against every stroke, urging him on harder and faster. Every whimper and groan, every desperate movement and clutch of fingers ate away his self-control until he was plunging into his lover desperately hard, his groin tight with need.
"Yes Ryan," Linde gasped. "Please, need, oh fuck!" He buried his face in Ryan's neck and bit down hard.
"Oh fuck!" Ryan groaned, sharp pain tensing every muscle, pushing him over the edge into ecstasy and he pumped harder and harder, coming deep inside his lover. Linde pushed him back, staring at him as he wrapped his hand round his cock, jacking himself tight and fast.
"God you look so hot Lily," he murmured, licking his lips.
"Ryan, oh yes," Linde groaned, arching, bucking frantically, ribbons of come spraying onto his belly. Leaning down again, Ryan kissed his boyfriend gently, then eased back, kissing his way slowly down to Linde's stomach, licking up his come, cleaning him off reverently until his lover tugged at his hair. He looked up.
"Come hold me," Linde whispered looking a little tearful. Crawling forward, he lay beside the slim blond and wrapped his arms round him.
"Are you okay, Lin'?"
"Yes," Linde said, burrowing deep into his embrace. "You're here, I'm happy."
"I'm happy too Mikko," he said softly, kissing the older man's temple. Linde lifted his head in surprise.
"You called me Mikko."
"It's your name," Ryan said with a slightly embarrassed shrug.
"I know, it's just no one calls me Mikko any more, not even my parents."
"Do you mind if I do sometimes?"
"No," Linde flushed and ducked his head again. "I think that would be nice."
"Good." They snuggled quietly until his eyelids started to droop. He was still tired from the flight and while he didn't want to sleep yet, he was losing the battle.
"Linde, I'm falling asleep."
"Me too. Let's get under the covers."
They shifted and rearranged themselves under the bedclothes, Linde switching off the light before they settled back into each other's arms. He kissed his boyfriend again gently.
"Tell me you love me."
Breathing in deeply, Linde raised his head slightly. "I... I love you, Ryan."
Happy warmth filled him and he hugged Linde tighter. "I love you too, Mikko." He closed his eyes and relaxed, listening to his lover breathe.
@>*~
The next morning, they barely left the room except to go to the bathroom. After the strange not-quite-argument the night before and the feeling of it not being quite resolved, they didn't really talk, just kissed and touched and made love until they were sore, sticky and exhausted. They lay in each other's arms trying to decide whether or not to move.
"We reek," Linde said.
"True, but we're just going to reek again," Ryan countered.
"Your stomach is rumbling."
"Well, I suppose I am hungry."
Before they could get any further weighing up the pros and cons of getting up, the door burst open and Bam ran in, jumping onto the bed on top of them.
"Fuck," Ryan grunted, taking the brunt of it. "You asshole, you ever heard of knocking?"
"Yeah but this is more fun," Bam said with a laugh, bouncing on him.
"Dude get off, you're heavy."
"I am not." Bam pouted and moved to sit on the edge of the bed.
"What do you want? You know, we could have been in the middle of something."
"Yeah but you weren't."
"But we could have been."
"Nah man, even I need a break after three times." Bam snickered at them.
"You were counting?" Linde exclaimed.
"Well you know, Ville and I aren't the only ones who are loud."
"What do you want?" Ryan repeated, emphasising each word slowly.
"It's time to get up guys and fuck, you both definitely need a shower." Bam's nose wrinkled in disgust.
"Why do we have to get up?"
"Duh Lily, band practice. Did Ryan manage to make you forget you're playing New Year's eve?"
"Oh... yeah I guess so." Linde flushed and sat up with a sigh. "Sorry Ryan."
"Are you kidding? Lin' I love to watch you play and Bam's right, we could use a break."
Bam chuckled. "Told ya. Anyway, it's my turn to monopolise Ryan, I missed him too."
Leaning forward, Ryan ruffled his best friend's hair. "Did you now?"
"Yeah dude, it's great here and I have Ville, Linde and Mige but you're still my best friend."
Rolling his eyes, he grabbed Bam and pulled him into a hug. His friend hugged him back tightly for a second then shoved him away.
"Euw dude, you stink, and I think you got come on me." Bam pulled a face, wiping at his t-shirt.
He met Linde's eyes and winked. "Serves you right for jumping into bed with us when we're naked dickface."
"Asshole."
"Fuckwit."
"Paskapää."
"Oh shut up you freak." He wiped at a sticky patch on his stomach and smeared it on Bam's face, laughing at his friend's shriek.
"Oh you fucking ass." Bam leapt up, pulling his t-shirt up to wipe at his cheek. "I don't miss this shit." He scowled at them, "Hurry and get up, I need to go wash my face now you sicko."
"Poor Bammie." Ryan collapsing against his lover, both of them laughing helplessly as Bam stormed out of the room.
"That was seriously gross Ryan."
"He was asking for it."
"I know." Smiling widely, Linde got up and stretched, slender body far too tempting. Ryan threw his boxers at him.
"Cover up you, or we'll never make practice."
Linde smiled shyly and pulled on the shorts. He picked up their towels and held out his hand. Taking it, Ryan got up, not bothering with shorts. He took a towel from his lover and held it over his groin as they went to the bathroom where Bam was coming out, topless and scraping his wet hair out of his face.
"Don't be long in there asshole," Bam said with a scowl.
"What like you and Ville you mean?"
"Darling, what's taking so long?" Ville called.
Bam stuck his tongue out at them and headed for his bedroom. "I'm coming baby. Ryan spooged me and I had to wash up."
"Spooged you?"
"Yeah baby." Bam went into the bedroom he shared with his husband and shut the door. There was a brief pause, then the sound of something hitting the door. "Oh baby," Bam groaned.
Grinning at his boyfriend, Ryan shook his head. "I'd say we have a little leeway now."
"Yeah I'd think so," Linde chuckled.
They hurried into the bathroom, locking the door behind them and got in together. Ryan tugged Linde into his arms under the water and kissed his neck.
"Are you as sore as I am, heila?"
"Not sore so much as achy but it feels good."
"It feels good?" Linde leaned back a little to look up at him. Grinning at his lover, he nodded.
"Yeah, it feels like you're still inside me, you know?"
"Really?"
"Yeah baby," he whispered. "Like you're buried deep inside my body." Linde pushed up against him with a whimper and he shuddered needily. "Stretching me wide and... God Lily," he gasped. "Wanna make me ache some more?"
Long arms slid round to his ass, fingers digging in and yanking him up hard against his lover's erection.
"Yes," Linde breathed before kissing him, tongue plunging deep as his fingers slid further round into the crease of his ass, pushing into his body.
"Oh fuck yes," he groaned, arching up against him. Linde bit his neck and drew back again.
"Turn round heila," Linde whispered. With a shiver, he turned and braced himself against the wall, water flowing down his back. Linde leaned over him, his now soap-slick cock sliding between his cheeks. "I'm going to make sure you can feel me inside you all day."
Thick, hot cock pushed straight into him and he groaned again, arms trembling as he held himself up, rocking his ass back to get his lover deeper.
"Yes Lily, do it, do me hard," he grunted urgently
One hand slid up to his chest, the other gripped his hip and Linde's forehead dropped onto his shoulder as he pulled back and plunged forward into his body hard enough to lift him onto his toes. Pain and pleasure stabbed through him and he cried out.
"Yes Lily!" His fingers clenched against the tiles and he pushed back. "Again."
"Heila," Linde gasped, licking his shoulder and sliding out to slam back into his body. His dick spurted, balls tight, every muscle taut with tension and the need to come.
"Fuck baby touch me," he groaned, shoving back into harder and harder thrusts. The hand on his hip slid round to clasp his cock tightly, stroking rapidly. "Yes, oh God."
Fingers grazed his nipple, then caught the nub, twisting hard. The flash of pain swept through his body, tension exploding into agonised ecstasy and he came hard shooting over his lover's hand and onto the wall in front of him.
Linde groaned, jerking into him frantically until he came with a small cry, filling him again with liquid heat, collapsing against him and pushing him against the tiles.
"Oh fuck," Ryan gasped.
"Huh?"
"Cold." He pushed himself up, reaching back to hold onto his lover.
"Oh." Linde laughed breathlessly. "Sorry."
"That's okay." He stroked a slim hip before reluctantly letting go so Linde could ease out of him. Turning round, he pulled the taller man back under the water and into his arms, kissing him gently. "That was amazing, Lin'."
"Mmm," Linde murmured with a soft sigh.
"I'll definitely be feeling you inside me all day."
"Good."
Smiling, Ryan buried his face in the crook of Linde's neck, leaning on his lover with a happy sigh. Strong arms wrapped round his back holding him tightly, filling him with a sense of warmth and strangely, heartache that tightened his throat for a moment. He wished he could stay there forever, hold on tight to his lover and never let go.
"Heila, you're hurting me," Linde whispered.
"Sorry." Reluctantly, he eased his grip on the older man.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah," he breathed, stroking his lover's back gently. "Thinking too much when I should just be feeling."
"What do you mean?"
"I don't want to move," he said. "I just want to stay here and hold you and not think."
"Think about what though heila?" Linde asked, starting to frown.
"Lin' don't please, I don't want to think and I definitely don't want to talk about it." He sighed as his lover's expression became a little hurt.
"Okay," Linde said in a tiny voice, hiding behind his dreadlocks.
Ryan bit his lip. Things kept messing up, he kept messing up. The trouble was IM and email didn't really convey depths of emotion, things could be hidden easily. Less so on the phone but still, four months of contact was not the same as four months together. He just wanted this week with his lover, learning even more about him, every nuance of emotion and how it was conveyed or hidden, what to say and how to say it.
"I'm sorry Lin' I just..."
"It's okay," Linde said hurriedly. "Let's just get cleaned up so we can go to practice."
It obviously wasn't okay but he didn't know what to do other than nod and kiss his boyfriend gently on the forehead. They washed quickly, in silence before heading back to the bedroom to dry off and get dressed.
As he sat on the edge of the bed to tie his laces, he looked up. Linde's expression was closed off, eyes dark and tense.
"Lin'?"
"Yeah?"
"We okay?" he asked, trying to keep the slight desperation he was feeling out of his voice. He couldn't.
Linde looked at him, eyes serious, mouth curled in a forced smile. "I don't know, are we?"
"I just keep putting my foot in my mouth, don't I?"
Suddenly smiling more genuinely, Linde shook his head. "I was thinking more along the lines of you digging a hole for yourself."
"That bad huh?"
"Don't shut me out," Linde whispered, kneeling in front of him andputting his hands on his thighs. "Just because we haven't seen each other for a long time and it's hard to keep our hands off each other doesn't mean we should stop talking. We need to talk, you know?"
"I know." He cupped his lover's cheek gently, meeting his gaze. "I was thinking I didn't want to leave, I don't want to leave..." He trailed off and Linde twisted his head to kiss his palm.
"You don't have to."
"Lin', I..."
"Don't Ryan, don't say you can't stay," Linde whispered, breath hitching a little. "I just want you to know that you can, okay?"
"Okay."
"Good." The blond kissed him gently and got up again. "Let's go."
Standing up, he tentatively held out his hand, breathing out a sigh of relief when Linde took it and squeezed tightly. They headed downstairs, Linde letting go of his hand to help Mikko with the equipment.
"Can you get the other two for me Ryan?" Mikko asked with a sigh.
"Have they still not emerged?"
"No."
"It's very quiet up there, I thought they'd be out by now."
"God only knows what they're up to Ryan, which is why I'd rather you went to find out.
He quirked a smile at the bassist. "I'll bet. Okay, I'll be right back."
Hurrying back up the stairs, he paused by the door to Ville's and Bam's room, listening to make sure they really weren't in the middle of anything. It was silent, so he knocked.
"Guys?" he called out, opening the door a crack when there was no reply. "Are you decent?"
"Yeah," Bam said quietly.
Pushing the door open, he frowned at the sight of his two friends fully dressed but lying on the bed, entwined together, arms and legs wrapped tightly round each other, Ville's face buried in Bam's chest.
"What's wrong?"
Bam kissed his husband's head and looked up. "My tour manager called."
"Oh." He went into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. "It's a bit soon, isn't it?"
"I wasn't supposed to do this one but Getz is injured and my ankle's okay now so I have to replace him."
"When?"
"Monday."
"Dude, that sucks, I won't even have left then." He sighed and patted Ville's leg. "You okay, Ville?"
"Not really." Ville finally pulled away from Bam, smiling weakly, face pale and eyes reddened. "I thought I was going to have him to myself for at least a month."
"I'm sorry baby," Bam said, looking upset.
"I know sweetheart, it's not your fault," Ville said, hugging him tightly and kissing his cheek. "We'll get through it because we have to."
"Yeah." Bam turned his head, catching his husband's mouth in a soft kiss. "I love you Ville."
"I love you too Bam," Ville said quietly. "Come on love, we'd better not keep the band waiting."
"I guess."
Ryan stood up. "If you need a moment, I'll go let Linde and Mige know you're on your way."
"Thanks man, we'll be right after you," Bam said managing a smile.
He went back downstairs to where Mikko and Linde were waiting.
"What the fuck's taking them so long?"
"Go easy on them Migé, Bam's got to leave again on Monday."
"Monday?" Linde gasped. "Oh no, they'll be devastated."
"Oh God, that means dragging them apart again."
"What do you mean?"
"We had to physically pull them apart to get Bam to the airport last time," Linde sighed.
"You're kidding? Are they really that bad?"
"Fuck off guys," Bam snapped, coming down the stairs with his husband. "We're not any kind of bad."
"Easy love," Ville murmured.
"We didn't mean it like that, Bambam."
"I know Ryan, I'm just not in the mood right now," Bam said, leaning against Ville with a heavy sigh. "I want to go and listen to the band, okay?"
"Everything's ready to go," Mikko said with a nod.
"Cool, come on then." Bam dragged Ville from the house and the rest of them followed.
Mikko drove them all to their rehearsal space where Ryan and Bam were reluctantly parted from their respective lovers after a brief introduction to Burton.
"Come on," Bam said, leading him to a small seating area nearby.
"How often do you come to practice with them?"
Turning a chair round so he could lean forward against the back of it, Bam shrugged. "If I'm here, then I come to every one, which is twice a week, sometimes more if they're gigging."
"Wow." Ryan sat down next to his friend. "It's lucky you love the band then huh?"
Snorting, Bam nodded. "Yeah, but I can't help it, they're Ville's songs, part of him and I love him, you know?"
"Yeah I know." He stared at Linde across the room and sighed. "How are you finding being apart?"
"It's fucking shit," Bam sighed, resting his forearms on the back of the chair and dropping his chin onto them, glancing at him briefly before staring at his husband again. "I hate it, being away from him I mean. Skating helps and I've made some friends but I..." His eyes squeezed shut for a moment. "Every second I miss him, every night I dream about him, if I can sleep at all that is." He laughed a little bitterly and Ryan squeezed his shoulder gently.
He could only begin to understand how hard it must be for the pair to be apart. Considering how hard it had been for him to be away from Linde, he couldn't imagine how Bam and Ville must feel.
"Is it worth it?" he asked softly.
"When I'm skating it is," Bam said. "It's going to get harder though, when the band starts touring properly."
"Shit yeah," Ryan said with a nod. "What's happening with the college?"
"They'll have finished before they have to worry about touring, it's only a year long course."
"Oh that's cool."
"Yeah." Bam stopped suddenly as the band started to play, eyes softening, lips parting and curling into a gentle smile. He looked every inch the man in love that he was. Ryan smiled at him and turned his head to watch his own lover play.
"They're getting really good huh?"
"Yeah," Bam said, glancing at him quickly before his gaze was drawn back to Ville. "They're awesome, they really deserved to get signed."
"Definitely."
"How are you and Linde doing?"
"I... okay I guess."
"Only okay?" Bam looked at him, eyes wide. "Sounded more than okay in the shower."
"Yeah," Ryan smiled ruefully. "We're having trouble adjusting to being face to face I think. Well, more like I keep saying the wrong thing."
"Oh I know that feeling," Bam sighed. "You've just got to be honest dude, don't hold back."
"Yeah I know but it's not always that easy Bam."
"No but it's worth it." Bam smiled at him and patted his arm.
"Yeah. He's really special, you know?"
"I know. Living with him and Migé is really cool, you'd love it here."
"Bam, don't you start," he sighed, looking down at his hands.
"You're really only going to stay for a week?"
"It's all I could afford to take off work, you know that."
"You're only working in a garage, man, you could do that anywhere."
Ryan winced. He knew his friend wasn't trying to put him down but it didn't make it any easier to hear.
"Yeah, I can really be a mechanic here when I can't speak the language."
"Just come stay for a while," Bam said softly.
"Bam, I can't just swan about wherever and whenever I feel like it, I have to work," he said, looking away from his friend. "If I don't go back in a week, I won't have a job to go back to. What am I supposed to do here anyway? Once they start touring and you're away, what am I going to do?"
Bam's eyes flashed excitedly as he looked back up and Ryan folded his arms over his chest a little defensively.
"You could roadie for them!" Bam exclaimed.
"Right."
"Why not? It can't be that hard."
"Oh gee, thanks Bam."
"I didn't mean it like that, man, come on," Bam sighed.
"Just leave it alone would you?"
"But..."
"I mean it, subject closed." He stared determinedly at the band, listening to the music, watching his lover with a slightly bitter taste in his mouth. He didn't want to live off his friends. If he was going to move, he wanted to be able to contribute something.
"He wants you to stay," Bam murmured.
"I know, okay?" Ryan snapped angrily. "But everything isn't always fabulous and perfect like it was for you and Ville okay? I love him but that isn't always enough."
"Bullshit man," Bam snapped back. "If you really loved him you'd find a way and things aren't always 'fabulous and perfect', they never have been but we love each other so we make it work because there's no other option for us."
"If I really loved him?" Ryan snarled, furious now. "You fucking prick, don't you dare question that! You don't know how I feel, okay, our situation is not the same as yours. You think I don't want this to work? Fuck you, Bam." He leapt to his feet and stalked away, he needed some air, some space to calm down.
Crouching down outside next to the back door, he dropped his head to his knees. Getting angry with Bam was not going to help anything, especially when his friend was only trying to help but it just made him feel worse because Bam didn't understand that it was different for him and Linde. Something had to give, he just hoped it wasn't his heart.
"Heila?"
He looked up as Linde crouched down in front of him.
"Are you okay?"
"Not exactly."
"What happened? Bam's really upset."
"Shit," he sighed. "I kinda lost it with him."
"Why?" Linde put a hand on his knee and he couldn't quite help flinching away. "Ryan?" The blond sounded hurt.
"I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry things aren't perfect, I'm sorry we aren't like Ville and Bam, I'm sorry I'm an asshole." He pulled away, getting to his feet and crossing his arms, tucking his hands under his armpits.
"I never asked for that," Linde said softly, standing up and shoving his hands in his pockets.
"What?"
"I never asked for perfect, I don't want us to be like Ville and Bam. I just want to be us."
"I really am an asshole," Ryan sighed.
"You think?" Linde said smartly.
"But you love me anyway?" he asked hopefully.
His boyfriend huffed out a quiet laugh. "God only knows why."
"That's a yes, right?"
"Of course it's a yes, you idiot," Linde said with a shake of his head.
"Say it."
"Ryan..."
"Say it," he murmured, leaning forward to rest his forehead on his lover's shoulder. "Please."
"I love you," Linde whispered.
"Thank you. I'm sorry for being a dick, Lin'."
"That's okay. I know things aren't easy but don't take everything so seriously, please?"
"I'll try," he sighed, nuzzling his lover's neck gently. "I love you, you know."
"I know."
At the sound of footsteps, Ryan pulled away and tilted his head towards the door. "Shall we go back inside? I assume practice isn't over yet."
"Not even close," Linde said with a laugh. "Come on then."
Ryan opened the door and held it open for his boyfriend, bowing politely. Snickering, Linde went inside and he followed after him, taking a deep breath knowing he still had to face Bam.
His best friend was buried in Ville's arms, the singer softly petting messy curls.
"Bambam," he said softly. The skater looked up, eyes shining, a frown creasing his brow. He pulled away from Ville and walked over to him.
"I'm sorry," Bam said quietly. "I didn't mean to put you down."
"I know dude, and I shouldn't have lost my temper with you because I do know that. So I'm sorry too." He pulled his best friend into a hug. "I just don't want to talk about it okay?" he whispered so only Bam could hear him.
"Okay man." Bam squeezed him and moved back to smile ruefully at him.
"Everything all right Ryan?" Ville asked quietly.
"I think so. Sorry to interrupt practice guys."
"That's okay. Linde, ready to go again?"
"Yeah." Linde kissed him softly and Ryan sighed, feeling marginally better as he watched the band talk for a moment then start to play again. He took a seat next to Bam and patted his friend's leg.
"You know I love you right?"
"Yeah man, I love you too, you're my brother you know?"
"Yeah." He smiled and reached over to ruffle his friend's hair.
"Remember what I said about talking though okay?"
"Okay," he said with a grin. "Is that the advice of a married man?"
"Fuck yeah. Ape tried to tell me way back and I didn't listen but believe me dude, it's worth feeling like a girl sometimes when things work out better."
"Feeling like a girl? Dude, when it comes to Ville you're a pussy."
"Ah fuck you," Bam said mildly. "I'm not a pussy, I'm a sap and I'm very happy with that."
"Married life suits you Bam."
Bam smiled softly. "Thanks. I love him more and more every day you know."
"I know," Ryan said, smiling back. "Do you miss home much?"
"This is home."
Ryan snorted. "You know what I mean."
"Yeah, sorry," Bam chuckled. "Of course I miss it, miss my family, the crew, you but once I start doing more international stuff I'll be visiting all the time."
"You'd better or Ape will hunt you down."
"Yeah," Bam shook his head. "Scary thought. She'll want to..." his voice dropped to a whisper, "feed me."
Ryan snickered loudly. "Definitely scary. Tours are going pretty good then?"
"So far yeah. My roommate, Tosh, knows about me and Ville and he's cool so that really helps."
"He knows you're married?"
"No, just that we're serious."
"Oh well, that's cool."
"Yeah." Bam grinned at him. "You'd like him, pretty, blond..."
"Shut up dude."
"I'm kidding, anyway he's straight." Bam winked at him.
"You're so not funny man."
"Are you kidding, I'm hilarious."
Rolling his eyes, he smacked Bam's arm. "You wish."
They settled into a comfortable silence and watched the band till they finished.
@>*~
After practice, they all went for a meal. Burton fitted in really well with the band and they all had a good time but pretty soon, Ryan was ready to head back to the house, wanting to spend more time alone with his boyfriend.
Bam and Ville were obviously feeling the same way, snuggled close together, the soft kisses they were sharing periodically growing more frequent, longer and harder as it got later. Neither of them seemed to care that they were in a public place, drawing looks and comments. In a way it made Ryan uncomfortable but it was mostly because he wished he had the security in his sexuality to be a little more demonstrative.
He and Linde held hands under the table- the blond leaning on him- in tense silence, needing to be alone so they could touch each other the same way.
"Okay, I'm guessing it's time to leave," Mikko sighed, shaking his head. "See you tomorrow, Gas, Burton."
"See you guys."
They drove back to the house where Mikko dropped them off. He was going to spend the night with Vedrana. Inside, Bam grabbed his husband and pushed him to the stairs.
"Sorry boys, we'd like to be sociable but well, we can't," Ville said, looking back at them.
"Go," Ryan replied with a wave and a grin. "It's not like we won't be doing the same thing."
"I bet," Bam snorted just before they disappeared round the top of the stairs and a door slammed shut.
"It's going to be hard for them being apart again so soon," he said softly. "I wonder how long it'll be this time."
Linde frowned at him. "Are you really worrying about that?"
"Well I... Lin' are you okay?"
"Not really," Linde sighed, moving to sit on the stairs.
"What's wrong?"
"Are you being deliberately dense?"
"Linde," he said softly, kneeling in front of his lover. He wasn't used to the blond being snappy but he hadn't missed the tension around blue-grey eyes. "Just talk to me."
"When Wednesday comes and you leave me, how long is it going to be till I see you again? How do I know I even will see you again?" Linde whispered.
"Because I love you."
Linde's face crumpled. "Yet that doesn't seem to be enough for you. Why did you even come here if you weren't going to stay Ryan? Why did you have to give my heart hope if you were just going to crush it?" Linde's eyes filled with tears as he stared questioningly and Ryan didn't know how to answer.
"I.... fuck, Lin', I don't know, I missed you, you know? I figured some time was better than nothing. I didn't think it would hurt you so much. You know I'd never want to hurt you."
"So stay," Linde whispered hoarsely.
Ryan gritted his teeth and bowed his head. "I can't."
"But..."
"Lin' don't please, I don't want to talk about it."
"So you're just going to ignore it again and rip my heart out by leaving me, again?"
"I won't be leaving you. We'll still be together, just not physically."
"For how long?"
"What?"
"How long will we be together, just not physically? How long will we last so far apart?"
"You giving up on us already?" Ryan asked softly.
"No I'm not, how can you say that? I just want us to be able to start, I want to be with you, not just email you or wait for a phonecall." He slid a hand into Ryan's hair, tipping his head up. "I want to be with you," he whispered.
"So be with me now Lily," Ryan breathed, leaning up to kiss his lover. "Please."
Shivering, Linde leaned forward and kissed him. "You bastard," he whispered, kissing him again before he could say anything. He deserved it anyway, deliberately using his lover's nickname, knowing the reaction it always got, was a dirty trick but he really didn't want to talk about it anymore.
Kneeling up, he pushed the older man back against the stairs, kissing him hard and deep, tongue licking into his mouth eagerly. Linde's legs came up and wrapped round his waist, arms sliding round his neck. Arching his back, Ryan pushed his erection into his lover's groin, the heat of Linde's cock making him even harder. He bucked against his boyfriend, quickly reaching between them to tear at buttons and zippers.
Linde groaned loudly, fingers digging into his back painfully. "Fuck me," the blond grunted into his mouth. "Right now you prick." He shoved Ryan back, wrenching his t-shirt up and lifting his ass to push his jeans round his thighs.
"But Lily..." Ryan paused, swallowing hard as his lover pulled his legs back, elbows resting on the step behind him. "Lily, we haven't got any lube."
"I'm aware of that," Linde snapped. "Fuck me."
"No, I'm not hurting you and no matter how pissed you are at me I'm not going to let you hurt yourself."
Linde glared at him. "I'm not pissed at you, I'm upset with you and right now I want you to fuck me." He reached down between his legs, fisting his cock, stroking rapidly. "You don't want to hurt me?" he muttered. "Nothing you did to me physically could hurt me anymore than you have already."
His lover's words were like a punch to the gut and he almost couldn't hold back tears as he gasped out a hurt breath, shoulders bowing. "I'm sorry Mikko," he whispered.
Linde's hand stopped moving, breath sucked into his lungs, loud and harsh. "No, no, no," he exclaimed. "It isn't fair, I don't want to forgive you."
Ryan looked up slowly, shocked when he saw pain and despair in his lover's eyes.
"This isn't fair," Linde breathed, silent tears starting to spill from his eyes, single drops following a path down his cheeks one after another, gathering at the tip of his chin to drip down onto his exposed stomach.
"I'm sorry," Ryan repeated, leaning back to push his lover's legs down onto the stairs before bending over him, gently licking the tears from the soft skin of his belly.
"Ryan," Linde gasped, a hand moving to clutch his shoulder.
"I'm so sorry," Ryan murmured. "I love you Lily." The blond moaned, arching against him as he trailed his tongue lower, lifting up slightly to slide it down the length of Linde's cock. Pressing a quick kiss to the base of his erection, he licked back up to the head, wrapping lips round and sucking gently.
Linde's groan resonated through him and he slipped one hand up his lover's chest, stroking gently as he sucked more of his cock into his mouth. It wasn't an apology- he hated the idea of using sex as an apology- it was worship, reverence, an attempt at showing Linde how much he loved him, even if he was leaving in a few days.
He sucked and licked slowly down as far as he could, moaning quietly at the heat and heaviness against his tongue. Swallowing awkwardly, he eased a little further down, the slid up, sucking hard.
"Ryan, oh God, Ryan." Humming quietly, he lapped over the head of Linde's cock, his lover's taste sending a shock of need through him, hardening his dick even more. "Hard heila, please."
He pushed right down until he nearly choked then slid back up, sucking hard again.
"Oh fuck," Linde gasped, hips thrusting urgently, fucking his mouth. "Don't, oh God I'm coming." His cock pulsed against his tongue, shooting hot come into his mouth. "Don't swallow."
Ryan obeyed his lover with difficulty, sliding slowly off Linde's dick and spitting into his hand as he knelt up again.
"Use it as lube," Linde gasped.
"Really?"
"Yes, please heila, I still want you to fuck me."
"Will it be enough?" Ryan asked softly in concern.
"Ryan now," Linde said, leaning back and pulling his legs up again.
"Oh fuck." Ryan groaned, need clenching his muscles. He used the come and spit in his hand to slick up his cock quickly and leaned over, resting his weight on his other hand as he plunged two fingers into his lover.
"Oh," Linde gasped, clenching around him. "Yes," he hissed.
Heat rippled round his fingers and Ryan groaned, opening his lover quickly until he couldn't stand it anymore, he needed to be inside him. Withdrawing, he replaced fingers with cock, sliding straight into his lover with a soft sigh. Muscles clenched and relaxed around him as Linde adjusted to him and he moaned, leaning on both hands over the older man, watching his face as he pushed a little deeper.
"Fuck," Linde gasped, staring up at him, eyes wide and spacey, front teeth pressing into his bottom lip.
"Lily, so good," he groaned, thrusting in and out of his boyfriend slowly, deeply, the intensity of silk and heat gripping his cock quickly wearing down his self-control.
"Harder," Linde groaned, arching back over the stairs. "Ryan please." He dug his fingers into Ryan's back and raked them up hard over his skin.
"Oh my fuck!" Ryan yelled, rocking harder and harder into the tight depths of his lover's body. "I love you," he gasped, shuddering and jerking as he came hard, filling Linde, marking him. "You'll always be mine," he whispered, dropping onto the blond's long body and kissing his neck.
"Will I?" Linde asked softly.
"I'll always be yours," he replied quietly.
"Oh Ryan," Linde sighed, stroking his hair gently. "I love you."
Easing back, Ryan carefully tucked himself away and stood up, bending and lifting his lover into his arms. Instead of the complaint he was expecting, Linde just wrapped his arms round his neck and rested his head on his shoulder. He carried the older man up the stairs and into the bedroom, placing him carefully on the bed.
"Do you want to shower?"
"No, I want you to hold me," Linde said, pushing his pants and underwear off then pulling his t-shirt over his head, lying back on the bed, naked and gorgeous.
Stripping quickly, Ryan climbed onto the bed and lay down next to the blond. Linde turned away from him again but reached back to pull his arm over his waist. He moved in closer, tucking his boyfriend's body against his, wrapping his arm round tightly and nuzzling the crook of his neck.
"Don't do that again."
"Do what Lin'?"
"Use my weaknesses against me to avoid talking, it's not fair Ryan."
"I know," he sighed.
"Is that all you're going to say?"
"I don't know what else to say, you know I'm sorry," he replied softly.
Linde sighed heavily. "Yes I know but it doesn't make any of this easier."
"This isn't easy for me either. I just, I need you to have faith in me, in us, please."
"It's hard to have faith knowing you're going to be four thousand miles away from me soon and not knowing when I'm going to see you again," Linde whispered, taking his hand and threading their fingers together. Ryan squeezed gently.
"Yeah," he sighed. "I wish things were different Lin', I really do."
"I just feel like you don't even want to try."
"Of course I want to try! Linde, how can you say that? You weren't the only one who spent four months of torture you know? I missed you."
"So why won't you even consider moving?"
"It wouldn't work Lin'," he whispered regretfully. "Not yet. I want move eventually, when it's right for both of us."
"But if it's not right now, when is it going to be right?"
Ryan sighed and rolled away onto his back. "Please can we just stop talking? We're just going round in circles and I don't want to argue with you."
"I'm not trying to argue," Linde said, curling up, wrapping his arms round his bent knees.
"And yet we still seem to manage it all the time."
"All the time?" Linde whispered. "Ryan, we've hardly argued at all, don't let the bad times overshadow the good. If you have to leave I don't want you to have bad memories."
Ryan rolled onto his side again, stroking his fingertips down his boyfriend's spine. "Any time I spend with you is a good memory, Mikko."
"Oh Ryan," Linde breathed, turning over quickly. His eyes swam with tears and he cupped his cheek, kissing him urgently. Ryan kissed back, lips parting under the soft probe of tongue as he pulled Linde back up against his body. He pushed dreads out of the way and gently stroked his lover's cheek as they held each other tightly, kissing softly, the edge of desperation to Linde's touches that had nothing to do with lust making his heart ache.
Rolling onto his back, Ryan drew Linde over to lie half on top of him, wrapping an arm round his shoulders. The blond slung an arm and leg over him and buried his face in his neck.
"I'm sorry," he murmured.
"Don't Ryan, you're right let's not talk about it anymore. Just go to sleep, okay?" Linde said softly.
"Okay."
For a second when he woke up, Ryan was blissfully happy. He had the warm naked body of his lover draped over him and hot, naked cock digging into his thigh.
Then the reality of the situation sank in and he sighed quietly, his heart aching at the knowledge of how much pain he was causing the man he loved so desperately. Why was he being so resistant to the thought of moving? He was going to hurt both of them so badly going back to the States and it wasn't necessary.
Maybe being part of the band's crew wasn't such a bad idea, even if it was them giving him a job, at least he'd contribute to some degree. They could work things out later and if the worst came to the worst, he'd still have a home to go to and Bam would always help him out.
After all, leaving had been hard enough four months before and he hadn't been nearly as much in love as he was now. Maybe he should try and overcome his fears, at least consider it more seriously.
Feeling lighter and happier, Ryan slid carefully out of the bed and headed for the bathroom to relieve his bladder. The door was ajar and he could hear muttering. Pushing the door open slowly, he tilted his head and blinked at the sight of his best friend lying on the floor next to the bath. He'd removed the sidepanel and looked like he was trying to unscrew the piping.
"Dude, what the fuck are you doing?"
Bam jumped, smacking his head on the side of the bath. "Ow fuck!" He looked up, wild-eyed and panicked.
"Bam, what's wrong?"
"Fuck!" Bam repeated. "Oh fuck man, I don't know what to do, oh shit I'm so fucked!"
"Calm down." Ryan moved to crouch down in front of his friend. "What's wrong?"
Blanching, Bam dropped his chin to his chest. "I lost my ring, Ryan," he whispered. "I lost my wedding ring."
"Oh shit."
"Yeah."
"Dude, when did you last have it?"
"Yesterday morning, I know because Ville kissed it," Bam said softly. "It was gone before we left for band practice but I figured it must be in our room you know? Came off in bed or something. But I can't find it anywhere."
"Well it's not going to be in the drains Bam," Ryan said quietly. "The holes are too small."
"I know, I know," Bam sighed. "I'm just fucking panicking, you know?"
Ryan patted his knee gently. "Of course I know. I know how important the rings are to you both. You were in our room as well, why don't you look downstairs and I'll wake Linde so we can search for it."
"Really?"
"Yes really. Come on, I'll help you put the panel back under the bath."
After fixing up the bathroom, Ryan finally relieved himself and went back to the bedroom. Linde was still asleep, sprawled on his back, covers shoved down so Ryan could see the long, slender lines of his torso, narrow hips and gorgeous cock, half-hard against the base of his belly.
Searching for Bam's ring would have to wait because that really was too much for him to resist.
He found the lube round the side of the bed and squeezed plenty of the clear gel onto his fingers. Bending over the bedside table, he pushed two fingers straight into his ass with a quiet groan. He spread lube as deep as he could reach, stretching himself carefully, biting back moans of need.
It was almost ridiculous how much he wanted his lover, how much he loved to have the older man buried deep inside his body. In fact, he couldn't wait any longer. Pulling his fingers free, he squeezed a little more lube into his hand and climbed carefully onto the bed, making sure he didn't jostle his lover. Kneeling beside Linde, he stroked lube over him, watching his cock harden fully in his hand with an ache of want. Linde moaned quietly in his sleep, hips rocking gently.
It was too fucking sexy, Ryan's cock was so hard it hurt. Carefully, he climbed over his boyfriend and gripped his cock tightly, holding it up so he could push back against the hard length, impaling himself slowly, sliding down until he was sitting in Linde's lap.
Hands clamped down on his hips and blue-grey eyes opened to fix on him, wide and unblinking.
"Am I dreaming?" Linde whispered. Ryan rocked his hips forward then sat down hard, grunting at the warm, tingling ache that spread through his groin.
"Does it feel like a dream?"
Eyelids fluttering, Linde shook his head, fingers digging harder into his hips. "No."
"Good." Ryan bent forward and dropped a quick kiss onto his lover's lips, then straightened, bracing himself on the blond's chest, rolling his hips again. His lover's cock slid out of his body, pressing against his prostate until he was shaking with need.
"Oh fuck Lily, feels so fucking... oh God," he cried out as his lover yanked him back down hard, pleasure and pain slamming through his body, cock spurting precome onto Linde's stomach.
"Fucking hell Lin'," he gasped.
"You okay?"
"Oh yes," Ryan said, leaning back further, resting one hand behind him on Linde's thigh and wrapping the other round his dick, stroking rapidly as he started to ride his lover, plunging up and down the thick length that stretched him wide.
"Oh my God, Ryan," Linde groaned, bucking up harder and harder, fingers digging into his skin painfully. "That's so... sexy."
"So good Lily, fuck me harder," he moaned. His lover grabbed him by the waist and rolled them over, holding on tightly and slamming into his ass, plunging deep and hard, stroke after stoke rubbing his prostate and filling him with a burning need to come, tension building until he was shuddering. Rocking up into every thrust, he jacked himself faster until pleasure peaked, erupting in his groin and he jerked up against his lover, coming hard, ass clamping down round the older man's cock.
"Ryan!" Linde whimpered, shaking over him, hips plunging into his body, skin slapping together loudly. Warmth spread through his ass and Linde dropped on top of him, panting harshly.
"Good morning," Ryan whispered.
Linde laughed. "Oh yes, it certainly is."
"You looked too beautiful for me to resist Lin'."
"Asleep?"
"Well yeah, but naked and hard and fuck," Ryan shivered. "Seriously irresistable."
Flushing, Linde kissed him gently. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Ryan grinned and kissed him back.
"Ryan," Bam said quietly, knocking on the door. "Did you look yet?"
"Shit," he muttered. "Sorry Bam, got distracted, we'll look now."
"Look for what?" Linde asked.
"Bam lost his ring, I said we'd check in here."
"Oh okay." Linde lifted up slowly, withdrawing from his body with a quiet moan. He grabbed their shorts, handing Ryan his to get partially dressed.
Ryan frowned. "You don't seem that concerned."
"Well it's Bam, he probably just mislaid it. I'm sure it'll turn up."
"If you say so," Ryan said doubtfully, bending to check under the bed. "I'm still going to look, Bam's frantic, he was trying to take the bath apart."
"You're kidding?" Linde snickered and Ryan looked at him in surprise.
"Is there something you're not telling me?"
"No." Linde reached over and touched his shoulder. "You're so sweet, come here."
Ryan moved to sit next to his lover on the bed. "What?" he asked softly.
"I just love how much you care about your friends heila," Linde whispered, stroking his beard then leaning in to kiss him, soft and sweet. Ryan moaned and slipped his tongue out, sliding it gently over soft lips to taste his lover.
"Guys, can I come in?"
Ryan pulled back with a sigh. "Yes Bam."
The door opened and Bam poked his head in the room, eyes reddened and overbright with unshed tears. "Did you find it?"
"I'm sorry Bam, I don't think it's in here."
Bam's face fell even further. "What am I going to do?"
"Bambam don't worry so much."
"But Ville..."
"Ville loves you not the ring," Linde said quietly.
"Exactly," Ryan said firmly. "Besides, it has to be in the house, it'll show up."
"You think?" Bam asked, his expression both hopeful and pleading.
"Definitely." Ryan got up and went to hug his friend but Bam raised his hands, forcing a smile.
"I can do without the spooge man."
"Sure. Where is Ville anyway?"
"He had to go out," Bam said with a pout.
"Dude, he can't be with you twenty-four/seven."
"I know, doesn't mean I have to like it."
"You are such a fucking nut."
"Whatever man, you guys need to get ready, we're going out for lunch or something."
"Fine. Lin' you want to share a shower with me?"
"Wow," Bam snorted. "That's the stupidest question I ever heard." He started to walk out of the room. "Just don't take too long."
"Oh fuck you," Ryan said with a laugh.
"It was kind of a stupid question," Linde murmured.
"Don't take his side!"
"Sorry." Linde ducked his head to hide a grin.
"Yeah right. You want to share a shower or not?"
"I do, I'm sorry."
"Mmm hmm. Well," Ryan held out his hand and Linde took it, "come on then." He led his lover to the bathroom where they stripped out of their boxers and got in the shower, cuddling close under the spray of water.
Absentmindedly, Ryan stroked the blond's back and ass, preoccupied, yet again, with the thought of staying in Helsinki. Living with his lover and three of his closest friends couldn't be bad surely? Spending more time with Linde, sharing his bed, waking up with him... it was an amazing thought but was it a realistic one?
"Where are you? Linde whispered, stroking his forehead.
"Sorry," he said quietly, looking up at his lover with a smile. "Just thinking."
"Dare I ask what about?" Linde said with a wry smile.
Smiling back, he shrugged. "Nothing serious Lin'," he said. He hadn't quite come to a decision yet so he couldn't say anything, it would have been unfair. "Just thinking about how good you feel and how much I'm going to enjoy seeing you play tonight."
"It should be fun," Linde said, smiling at him and pulling him harder against his body. "We've been going for a few years now, this'll be the first time we've played though."
"You nervous?"
"Very."
"You shouldn't be, you guys seriously rock."
"Thanks." Linde smiled shyly at him, bending his head to kiss him. "Hopefully it'll be good."
"I know it will be. Bam's not the only one who thinks you're the best band in the world and from what he's been saying, you're getting quite a following already."
"Yeah, it's kind of scary actually," Linde said with a soft laugh. "At the last gig, this girl propositioned me."
Ryan felt a surge of jealousy. "Oh really?"
"Yeah, the bouncer had to throw her out, she wouldn't take no for an answer."
Backing his lover up against the wall, Ryan rocked into his groin. "Is that right?"
"Um..." Linde stared at him, wide-eyed. "Yes?"
"I hope you told her that this," he dropped his hand to cup Linde's erection, "belongs to me."
"Oh fuck," Linde squeaked. "Yes, yes of course I did."
"Turn round," Ryan breathed pulling back.
"What?"
"Turn round Lily. I'm going to fuck you, make sure you know who you belong to."
Shivering, Linde turned and braced himself against the wall. Ryan stared hungrily at the long, slender body of his lover, all pale skin and wiry muscles.
"Fuck you're beautiful," he whispered, reaching out to touch, sliding fingertips over smooth, wet skin from shoulders to ass. "It's no wonder she wanted you." He slid his fingers between Linde's asscheeks and rubbed over the entrance to his body gently. Linde moaned, pushing back against him eagerly.
"Easy baby," Ryan murmured, stroking firmly as he leaned over his lover's body, rising onto his toes so he could kiss his neck.
"But I..."
"Be quiet Lily."
"Ryan," Linde started to whine.
"I said, be quiet." Moving his hand, he slapped the older man's ass lightly.
"Oh fuck," Linde groaned quietly, bucking helplessly.
Nibbling Linde's shoulder, Ryan pressed against him, sliding his cock into the crease of his ass and slipping his hands round the blond's waist, rocking against him, the water flowing between them easing his movements.
Moving one hand up to clasp his chest, he dropped the other one, wrapping it round his lover's cock. He ran two fingers over the tip to spread the dribble of precome and started to jack him, tight and fast, grunting as Linde rocked back and forth into his hand and against his dick.
"Heila please," Linde whimpered.
"Please what?"
"Fuck me please."
"Not yet." Ryan tightened his grip, stroking his lover harder.
"Oh God Ryan, I need you."
"Soon," he whispered, kissing the blond's shoulder blade and rubbing over a nipple with his thumb. "I want to feel you come first Lily, I want to use your come as lube, slick myself up, fuck you till you scream."
"Oh fuck, oh Ryan," Linde gasped, hips jerking frantically, cock sliding in his fist faster and faster.
"Come on Lily, don't you want me to fuck you?"
"Yes, oh God yes," Linde cried out, arching against him, body tight and shaking and he shot into Ryan's hand and over the wall in front of him.
"Fuck yeah Lily," Ryan groaned, biting his lip to stop himself from coming. He wanted to bury himself in the tight, silken heat of his lover's ass, come deep inside his body.
Linde dropped onto his forearms, head bowing as he pushed his ass out in invitation. "Fuck me heila, make me feel it," he begged.
Groaning as the heat of need flooded his groin, Ryan pushed himself back and slicked his lover's come over his cock. He pulled Linde further back so the water didn't wash it away and slid the head of his cock along the line of his lover's ass.
"Please," Linde begged softly.
"God you're so hot Lily," Ryan moaned, pushing inside his lover slowly, sliding deep inside him in one smooth stroke. The tight heat was overwhelming and he buried his face in Linde's slim back, breathing deeply for control. "Fuck Lily."
"Please!"
Moving both hands to his boyfriend's hips, he held on tight and rocked his hips back then thrust forward hard, slamming back into the older man.
"Oh God yes," Linde gasped. "Hard Ryan, please."
"Yeah baby." Leaning right over his lover, Ryan started to move, plunging into his lover over and over, harder with every stoke, faster as tight heat rippled round his cock and Linde groaned and whimpered, bucking back into every thrust. He started to tremble, every muscle taut with tension, nerves alight with pleasure. His groin was aching and tingling, warmth filling him.
A long arm reached back and grasped his ass tightly, yanking him forward even harder and he cried out, biting down convulsively on his lover's shoulder as he pumped into him, hips jerking, cock pulsing as he came hard. He could taste blood and heard Linde scream, his lover's hips bucking again, ass clenching down to wring another shudder of pleasure out of him.
"Oh fuck," he gasped, gently licking the broken skin under his lips. "Fuck Lin' I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Linde panted harshly. "It felt good."
"You sure?"
"Yes." Linde nodded against the arm he had braced on the wall. "I can see why you like it."
Ryan lifted his head and grimaced. It was a much worse bite than the one Linde had first given him so many months before and even though he felt bad making his lover bleed, it also made him feel incredibly proud in a very possessive way.
"You really are mine now," he whispered, kissing the bite gently.
"Did you ever doubt it, heila?" Linde said quietly, looking at him over his shoulder.
Ryan smiled. "No."
"Good because you were right, I'll always be yours."
"I love you Mikko," Ryan whispered, easing back carefully so Linde could turn and he could kiss him.
"I love you too Ryan."
They gently and thoroughly washed each other, Ryan taking extra care over the bitemark on his lover's shoulder. It was still bleeding a little when they got out of the shower so Linde dug out a first aid kit.
"Turn round Lin," Ryan murmured, pouring a little disinfectant on some gauze. His lover turned so he could get to his back more easily. "This is going to sting."
"I know, it's fine."
Gently, he dabbed the bite and Linde hissed quietly. "Sorry."
"It's okay Ryan."
Making sure the mark was clean, Ryan taped a dressing over it and kissed his lover's shoulder. "How does it feel?"
"Achy but fine."
"It won't affect your playing will it?"
Linde turned and smiled at him. "No, don't worry so much."
"It's just really bad."
"Heila, honestly, it's okay, please don't worry." He cupped Ryan's cheek and bent to kiss him gently.
"I can't help it, I love you."
"I love you too." Linde kissed him again. "Come on, we'd better go get dressed."
"Yeah I suppose so."
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I just kinda don't want to go out yet."
"Why not?"
"I just want to stay in with you, that's all."
"We can stay in all day tomorrow, heila."
"Promise?"
Linde hugged him tightly. "Promise."
"In bed?"
Chuckling, Linde nodded. "In bed."
"Good, come on then." Ryan led him back to their room, shaking his head at the sight of Bam tearing the bed apart in his and Ville's room. "Bam, leave it now. It will turn up."
Bam looked up at them, his expression one of complete misery. "You don't understand."
"I know how important..."
"Not just the ring Ryan, the day."
"What do you mean?"
"New Year's Day."
Ryan sighed. "What about it?"
"It's the anniversary of the day we met."
"Oh." Ryan glanced at Linde who grimaced. "It's been a year?"
"Yeah," Bam breathed. "I can't lose it now."
"You haven't lost it, you've mislaid it, that's all. Ville probably won't even notice," Linde said softly.
"Of course he'll fucking notice," Bam snapped. "I'd fucking notice!"
"Look, we're going to get dressed, if you haven't found it by the time we're ready then just leave it for a while, okay?"
"Ryan..."
"I'm serious. You should just tell him anyway."
"Not if I can help it," Bam muttered. "Fine whatever, I'll see you in a moment."
Heading back to their room, Ryan slipped an arm round his lover with a sigh. "He's being unreasonable."
"Maybe."
"Although look how Ville reacted last time he lost his ring."
"Well, yes but that wasn't Bam's fault, Janne stole it. That's what Ville was upset about."
"True." Ryan hung up his towel and pulled on clean underwear. "What happened to Janne?"
Linde froze. "He's in prison," he said softly. "Found guilty on both charges of rape and murder. He'll never get out."
"That must be a relief for Ville."
Linde nodded. "And Bam."
"Yeah." Ryan scowled. "I hope some really big, nasty fucker makes him his bitch."
"Ryan!"
"What?" Ryan blinked up at his lover. "Don't you?"
"Well... yeah I guess so."
"Thought so." He pulled on jeans and a t-shirt. "Do you know if we're coming back before the gig?"
"No idea. I didn't know we were going out for lunch."
"Does Ville get nervous before a gig?"
"Depends if Bam's there," Linde said with a smile. "He gets nervous but if Bam's there it helps him focus."
"So kinda like Ville calms Bam down before skating."
"Yeah." Linde paused in getting dressed. "They're so good together," he sighed softly.
Ryan nodded. "I know. It's almost strange to think they've only known each other for a year."
"Yes, I know." The blond tugged yet another Stooges t-shirt over his dreads and Ryan stared at him, transfixed as ever by his beauty.
"What?" Linde asked with a flush.
"Nothing, just looking at you."
"Oh." Linde rubbed his forehead. "Okay."
"You want to go?"
"Yes."
Ryan stood up. "Okay then, let's go drag Bam out of his room then." He held out his hand and Linde took it.
@>*~
After a long quite quiet lunch, they headed to the Tavastia and watched some of the other bands sound check before it was HIM's turn. Bam and Ville were both unusually quiet, Bam clinging tightly to his husband right from entering the club. Ville just kept both arms wrapped round him, petting his hair gently and kissing him constantly.
"Is he still nervous in here?" Ryan asked his boyfriend quietly.
"Yeah kind of. He doesn't really like to be apart from Ville when we're here but if we're playing he usually sticks close to Migé's brother or Vedrana." Linde glanced at the other couple and smiled softly. "Ville's voice usually distracts him anyway."
Ryan snorted. "Oh of course. Is he still dragging him off stage at the end of the set."
"Not really," Linde said with a laugh. "But he's usually waiting backstage by the end to drag Ville home."
Chuckling, Ryan shook his head. "So this gig will be interesting then."
"Yeah." Linde grinned and kissed his cheek as they were called up for soundcheck.
Ville gently extricated himself from his husband, cupping Bam's cheek and kissing him. "Come on, love," he said softly. "Sit with Ryan."
"Yeah come on you freak, come keep me company," Ryan said with a laugh.
"Fuck you asshole," Bam snorted. "I'm not a freak." He got up, moved over and plonked himself in the seat Linde had just vacated.
"No, I know." Ryan patted his shoulder gently. "How are you feeling?"
"Okay I suppose."
"Only okay?"
"Dude, I lost my fucking ring, remember, on our anniversary!"
"How many anniversaries have you got anyway?"
"Well, two really, but I remember dates for our first kiss, first time watching each other jack off, first time I jacked him off, first time he blew me..."
"Okay dude, I get the fucking picture, you are such a fucking girl."
"I am not dickface, they are memorable events in the development of our relationship. Are you telling me you don't know the exact date you jacked each other off the first time, or when he first blew you because I do."
"You do?" Ryan exclaimed. "How the fuck would you know that?"
"First time I rimmed Ville, dude."
"Oh man," Ryan said with a grimace. "I need a beer if you're going to keep on like this. You want a coke or something?"
"Yeah."
Ryan got up and Bam looked up at him. "Where are you going?"
"Uh the bar? Where do you think?"
"Right." Bam stood up. "I'll come with you then."
"You sure?" Ryan asked softly. "There's plenty of people you know around."
"I know." Bam shrugged and looked down. "I just feel uncomfortable that's all."
"Okay." They went to the bar and he bought a round of drinks for the band, beer for everyone except of course for Ville and Bam. Carrying the drinks between them the sat back down at the table where they'd been joined by Vedrana and Burton's girlfriend, Anita as well as a couple of members of another band who Bam introduced as Jyrki and Jussi. They were soon rejoined by the band and even though he seemed more comfortable, Bam still got up to sit in his husband's lap and Linde sat back down next to Ryan.
He kissed his lover's cheek quickly. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah, it's just the waiting to get onstage now."
"This is so great," Ryan said enthusiastically. "I haven't seen you guys play since Ville and Bam got married."
"Shit yeah, I'd forgotten it's been so long," Linde gasped. "It feels like you've been here so much longer than a couple of days."
"Yeah I know," Ryan agreed. "It's nice."
"Yeah," Linde said softly, reaching for his hand. Ryan took it and squeezed gently.
@>*~
Several beers later and the club was really filling up. The band finally had to go backstage to prepare. Bam was ensconced between the two girls, mothered by them and enjoying it shamelessly. Ryan sat back and rolled his eyes, laughing at his best friend.
When the band was announced though, they were all ignored as Bam became transfixed, eyes focused on the central microphone where his husband would be singing. The band came on to a roar and loud applause and Ryan sat up, astonished when Linde came out in low-slung combats and nothing else.
"Fuck," he muttered, his pants feeling significantly smaller. Bam glanced at him for a brief moment, smirking. "Looks pretty hot huh?"
"Oh fuck yes," Ryan groaned. "How do you make it through a whole gig?"
"The wait is worth it man," Bam replied, his attention focused back on the stage where Ville was launching into their cover of Wicked Game. "Besides, I love the music."
"Yeah," Ryan murmured, watching his lover avidly.
"You boys are so cute," Vedrana laughed.
"Please, you're just as bad," Bam snorted. "Migé onstage gets your motor running, admit it."
"True, they are all sexy when they're playing," Anita said. "But we're not quite as rampant as you after the show, Bam."
Bam made a rude noise. "Your loss, post-gig sex is fucking hot."
"Any sex with Ville is hot in your book Bam," Ryan said with a laugh.
"Well... yeah," Bam conceded with a ruful smile. "It's just a bit more, I don't know, frantic after a gig. Or after skating."
"You want to get closer?" Vedrana asked.
"Yeah, come on, let's barge to the front," Bam said, getting up. They all linked their arms and pushed their way through the crowd to the front of the stage, leaning against the barrier, Ryan rapidly getting distracted again by his boyfriend's glistening torso and look of intense concentration that was far too similar to his expression during sex for comfort.
The crowd was insane already, a testament to their live performance but finally, it was the last song.
Ville said something in Finnish briefly then switched to English. "In about three hours it will be the one year anniversary of when I first met my beloved."
There was a cheer and Ville paused, smiling down at Bam. "This song is very special to us both. For you my love."
The opening bars of their last track started and Ryan had to stop Bam from trying to climb onstage.
"Dude, easy," he shouted.
"Oh fuck," Bam gasped. "He didn't tell me he was going to do this!"
"That's why they're called surprises doofus."
"Ryan, it's our wedding song!"
"I know, just wait 'til they're through before you jump him, okay?"
"Okay, okay." Bam turned back to stare up at his husband who smiled down at him, singing to him, the love veritably shining from his eyes.
"I love you!" Bam shouted and Ville blew him a kiss. Several girls in the crowd screamed and Ville's grin grew when Bam pouted petulantly, singing the line, 'You are the one.' even more emphatically to him.
Bam smiled again, beckoning to his lover who got on his knees and crawled forward, dropping his mike during Linde's riff and leaning into the crowd, grasping Bam's curls and yanking him into a hard, thorough kiss, tongues probing visibly. There was a massive cheer from the crowd.
Ryan swallowed and looked up, groin tightening further when he realised that Linde was staring at him, eyes dark and hot and filled with want.
Pulling back to finish the song, Ville stood up again and as it came to an end, he bowed and moved forward, holding out his hand to his husband. Bam took it, climbing onto the stage as security scrambled to prevent others from doing the same.
"Come on Ryan, we'll go the proper way," Vedrana said, linking arms with him and Anita. They ran round to the side where security let them backstage.
Ville and Bam had already disappeared and Mikko was arguing with Linde, who was towelling himself off.
"Come on, stay for the celebrations."
"I don't want to Mizee, I need..." Linde spotted him and smiled. "Need to go home, right Ryan?"
"Oh fuck yes, right now," Ryan said eagerly.
"Oh fine, fuck off then," Mikko said with a snort. "Vedrana, please tell me I can stay with you tonight."
"Of course my Mizee," she said with a laugh.
"Let's go, Lily," Ryan whispered into his lover's ear.
"Fuck." Linde grabbed his shirt and jacket, gripped his arm tightly and dragged him towards the back exit. "See you tomorrow guys."
"Monday," Ryan shouted in correction.
"Right, sorry, Monday," Linde laughed as they went out the door and he flagged down a cab.
"Fuck I'm freezing," Linde whispered, shivering.
"Don't get dressed Lily, I'll warm you up." He wrapped his arms round his blond lover and nuzzled his neck. "I want you dripping with sweat again by the end of the night." Linde shivered against him and Ryan grinned, licking at his lover's sweaty skin. "You looked so fucking hot onstage like that, I wanted you so much."
"Ryan," Linde groaned, hands slipping under his jacket and pushing up his shirt to stroke over heated skin. "Wait till I get you home." He emphasised his words with a hard pinch to his nipples and Ryan jerked against him, cock sliding in precome against his shorts.
"Fuck Lily," he gasped, lifting his head to kiss his boyfriend hard, not even caring that the taxi driver might be watching.
They got to the house and scrambled for the door. Just as they closed it behind them, they heard Ville's and Bam's bedroom door shut and exchanged knowing glances.
"I wonder if Bam found his ring," Ryan murmured, dragging his lover up the stairs.
"He will," Linde said with a grin, pushing him into the bedroom.
"Oh?"
"Yes. Now, do you really want to talk about this now?" Linde leaned back against the door and pushed his hips out to emphasize the thick length of his cock straining against the crotch of his pants. He dropped a hand to cup his balls. "Or do you want to suck me off?"
Swallowing hard, Ryan moved in front of his lover and leaned against him, kissing him hard, sliding his hands down naked chest to his waistband. "I want to suck you off," he murmured against soft lips before sinking to his knees. He tugged Linde's pants open, groaning with lust when thick cock bounced out unfettered by underwear. "Oh fuck, Lily, commando?"
"Knew I'd need you," Linde moaned, arching up as Ryan rubbed his bearded cheek gently over the crease of his thigh.
"Fuck yeah," Ryan breathed, inhaling the scent of sweat and musk before he licked over his lover's balls and up the length of his cock. His own dick strained painfully at his zipper, giving him an idea.
"Lily," he said softly, lapping away a dribble of precome.
"Yeah?" Linde groaned, hands sliding into his hair.
"I want to try something I've never done before."
"As long as it's sex," Linde gasped, thrusting against his mouth. Ryan wrapped a fist round Linde's cock and stroked him firmly.
"Duh Lin'."
"What do you want to try?"
"A sixty-nine."
"Oh fuck." Linde shoved him back. "Fuck yes. Clothes off right now."
Watching his lover strip out of combats and sneakers, Ryan hurriedly got undressed, following his lover onto the bed.
"Lie on your side heila."
He did as he was told, cock pulsing in anticipation as his lover lay down opposite him, head by his groin, dick swaying temptingly in front of his face. Linde fisted his cock and stroked, looking down at him with a grin.
"Whatever you do, don't bite down."
Ryan chuckled. "I won't..." he paused, a shiver of lust twisting in his gut. "You uh, I think I'd like it if..."
"You want me to bite your cock?" Linde asked slowly, wide-eyed in surprise, his dick jerking towards Ryan's mouth. He wrapped his hand back round his lover's dripping cock, quickly matching the rhythm of Linde's strokes.
"I want to try it," he whispered.
"Okay." Linde kissed the tip of his dick then moved his hand as he slid his mouth straight down and swallowed.
"Fuck!" Ryan gasped, trying not to thrust into his lover's throat, heady pleasure rippling through his body in waves as Linde swallowed and licked. Fingers slid over his balls and Ryan quickly sucked the blond's dick into his mouth, working the length with hand, tongue and lips, trying desperately to concentrate on getting his lover off even while Linde's mouth was driving him rapidly to the brink. Linde groaned around his dick and reached over his body, stroking between his asscheeks, teasing the entrance to his body.
He rocked helplessly between hand and mouth, groaning around his mouthful, fist tightening as tension and need built deep in his belly and groin. He pulled back, stroking his boyfriend harder and faster, the vibrations of Linde's groans just adding to his desperation.
"Lily please," he panted, "Bite me."
Teeth pressed down on his shaft and sharp pain shot up his spine, melting into his pleasure, intensifying it. He bucked hard, biting back a scream.
"Fuck, Lily again, higher."
Linde slid up and bit down just under the head of his cock. Pain and pleasure overwhelmed his body and he exploded with a cry, shooting deep into his lover's mouth, hips jerking helplessly against Linde's face.
When his cock had stopped pulsing, Linde eased back and stared at him.
"Oh fuck Ryan, that was so hot. I need to fuck you."
"Please," Ryan panted, rolling onto his back and reaching over to the bedside table for the lube he'd discarded there earlier. He sat up as Linde knelt between his legs, squeezing the gel onto his fingers so he could stroke it over thick cock. Linde shivered and pushed him back.
"Might not last long," he muttered, leaning over him and pushing his dick down to his ass.
"Don't care, I just want you to fuck me hard, Lily."
Linde thrust into him in one hard stroke and Ryan groaned, arching into the thrust, wrapping arms and legs round his lover, urging him on. He dug his fingers into his back as Linde grasped his ass and fucked him, burying his cock inside him hard and fast, over and over. He stared up at the blond, Linde's face was flushed, mouth slack as he drew harsh, panting breaths and rocked frantically into him.
"Fuck you're beautiful, Lily," he groaned, his cock starting to stiffen again already. "Come on baby."
"Yes fuck Ryan!" Linde jerked hard into him, shaking as he filled him with wet heat then collapsed on top of him.
Hard belly pressing against him stiffened his dick even more and Linde raised his head, smiling down at him. "You're insatiable."
"Well, you're fucking hot," Ryan said with a chuckle.
"Do you want to fuck me?"
"No."
"No?" Linde raised an eyebrow.
"Well," Ryan snickered. "Not yet."
"Oh." Linde pushed himself up slightly to look down at him, increasing the pressure against his erection. "Can I jack you off?"
"No." Ryan started to laugh at his lover's surprised expression. Linde frowned at him.
"You want me to suck you off again?"
Laughing harder, Ryan shook his head. "No."
Linde pouted and rocked against him. He shuddered and gripped the blond's hips. "Hey I said no."
"Aw come on heila," Linde whined. "You know I love your cock. I want you to fuck me."
Hooking a leg round Linde's knee, he rolled them over and kissed his lover gently. "Well you'll just have to wait."
"Ryan," Linde breathed, pulling at him, rocking up against him. "Please."
"Nope." Gritting his teeth against his need and desire for the older man, he managed to push himself up to kneel between long, slim legs. He squeezed round the base of his dick to control his need. He had plans for his lover's beautiful body and he didn't want to get ahead of himself. "Get on your hands and knees."
Linde grinned at him and rolled over, getting up on all fours. He looked back at him with a smirk. "I knew you were only teasing."
"Was I?" Ryan said softly, stroking his cock slowly as he stared at the blond's tight ass.
"Ryan," Linde said quietly. "Please you're killing me here."
"No." He bit his lip hard against the temptation to give in and fuck his lover. Instead, he shifted forward, gripping slender hips tightly and bending over to gently kiss the bite he'd given his lover the day before. His cock slid between Linde's asscheeks and he groaned at the soft slide.
"Ryan don't tease me," Linde begged breathily.
Ryan licked his way down his boyfriend's spine, easing back until he reached the vee of his ass. Dropping a kiss onto each cheek, he gently pulled them apart and slid his tongue down over the line of his ass from tailbone to balls and back up again.
"Oh fuck!" Linde cried out, jerking back against his hands.
Ryan was amazed by the taste of his lover, darker musk, more salt from sweat and he licked harder over his ass, circling his tongue around the tight muscle as Linde trembled and whimpered and rocked.
"Ryan," Linde moaned, dropping forward onto his forearms. "Oh God, Ryan, please, please fuck me."
Kissing the entrance to Linde's body, Ryan pulled back slightly. "No." He buried his face again, lapping harder over and around his lover's asshole. Stiffening his tongue, he probed gently, licking into his lover who cried out again, shaking hard.
"Fuck, oh fuck, Ryan, I can't... I can't take it."
Pulling back again, Ryan spat on his fingers and pushed two straight into his lover aiming for his prostate. Linde groaned loudly, back arching, ass pushing back against him.
"My God Lily," Ryan moaned, wrapping his other hand round his cock and jacking himself tight and fast as he fucked his boyfriend with his fingers. "You are so unbelievably sexy. I love watching you like this, so fucking hot, straining and desperate."
"Ryan," Linde gasped, reaching between his legs to fist his own renewed erection. "I need more."
Letting go of his dick to reach for the lube, Ryan squeezed some onto his fingers, plunging three into his lover's body hard.
"Fuck!" Linde yelped, jerking and shaking helplessly.
"More?" Ryan asked softly, jacking himself again, watching the thrust of his fingers in and out of Linde's body. It was almost as hot as fucking him.
"Ryan!"
"Do you want more?"
"Fuck," Linde gasped, nodding and thrusting back. "Yes, God please yes!"
Twisting his hand slightly and bunching up his fingers, Ryan pushed four into the tight heat of his lover's ass. His cock pulsed in his hand as Linde wailed, head tipping back and back arching as he shook.
"Oooh, oh God Ryan, so full," Linde whimpered, thrusting against him harder. "Oh fuck me, please fuck me."
Ryan bit his lip, dragging breath into his lungs forcibly. His groin ached, cock so hard it hurt but somehow, he held on. "Cock or fist?"
"Oh my God," Linde gasped. "What?"
"Cock or fist Lily?"
"I... I don't know." Linde shuddered, rocking harder against his fingers.
"Tell me what you want," Ryan whispered.
"I... I... fist please."
Ryan trembled, cock jerking painfully. He had no idea where he'd found the nerve to ask, or even to think of asking, but fuck it was hot. He pulled his hand back a little, letting go of his dick to squeeze more lube onto his fingers. He thrust all four back into his lover and twisted his hand to spread lube and stretch him out.
Linde dropped his head back down onto his forearms, groaning and whimpering, ass rocking into him. Pressing his thumb up against his fingers, he pushed slowly, watching in awe as his hand slid inside his lover and Linde whimpered quietly.
"Oh fuck," Linde squeaked, breath hitching. "Oh fuck!"
"You okay Lin'?"
"Yes," Linde gasped. "Fuck it's so... feel so full, so tight." He stopped, sucking in a harsh breath. "Heila please, fuck me."
"God Lily, oh God," Ryan muttered. He couldn't take much more. Wrapping his free hand back round his dick, he jacked himself quickly as he worked his fist carefully in and out of Linde's ass, pressing his fingers down and rubbing his prostate.
"Yes, yes, oh fuck Ryan!" Linde screamed, shaking hard as he came, shooting onto the bed, clamping down hard round his hand. It was too much.
"Lily!" Ryan yelled, bucking into his fist, spurting come over Linde's ass and thighs. Panting for breath, Ryan carefully eased his hand from Linde's ass, his lover's groan resonating down his spine. The blond slid forwards, collapsing onto the bed, gasping for breath.
"I just need..." Ryan got up. "I'll be right back." He dragged on his shorts and hurried to the bathroom to wash his hands, then he ran back to the bedroom, shucking off his underwear and climbing onto the bed next to his boyfriend. He tugged him over into a hug and kissed his temple. "That was insane."
Linde nodded, chuckling softly. "Never done that before."
"No," Ryan sighed. "What was it like?"
"Really, really intense," Linde whispered, kissing his cheek. "And so good."
"You think... you think we could try it again?"
"I don't think I could... oh you mean... me, fist you?"
"Yeah," he breathed.
Linde tipped his head back and smiled. "I think you'll really enjoy it."
"Cool." Ryan smiled back and kissed him gently. "I'm so tired."
"Yeah me too."
"Nap?"
"Okay heila." They kissed again and curled up together tightly, tugging the covers up and over them to snuggle warmly.
@>*~
Ryan woke slowly. It was dark, felt late and he didn't want to leave the warmth of his lover's embrace. But his bladder was complaining and his head felt fuzzy from drinking so he eased his way carefully off the bed, trying not to disturb Linde.
He pulled on his boxers and after a quick side-trip to the bathroom, he headed downstairs to get some water from the kitchen. The light was on already and he found Bam leaning against the counter, slowly sipping something from a mug.
"Dude, what is that?"
"Chamomile tea."
"It smells... not good."
Bam looked up and grinned. "That's exactly what I thought the first time Ville made me drink it."
"What did you do to deserve that?"
"Oh very funny dude," Bam snorted. "Doesn't take long to get used to the taste."
Ryan raised an eyebrow. "Yeah but, why would you want to?"
"Helps me sleep sometimes."
Grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge, Ryan took a swig and leaned against the counter next to his friend.
"So," he said with a smirk. "Good night?"
Bam's grin turned dirty. "Oh fuck yeah. I got to do some of my favourite stuff and I got my ring back."
"You found it?"
"No, Ville took it."
"You're kidding why?"
"To get it engraved."
"He's sneaky."
Bam nodded. "Yeah but it's so beautiful, I forgave him."
"You didn't hold out on him?"
"Fuck no, he wanted me to fuck him, I never say no to that."
"Do you like it better?" Ryan asked his friend softly, knowing that Bam was usually the one getting fucked.
"Hell no." Bam snorted. "Do you?"
"I don't know actually," he said, frowning as he thought about it. "There's something unbelievably sexy about being buried inside him, he's so tight and hot."
"Yeah true," Bam said with a smirk. "It is fucking awesome fucking Ville, I just really, really love it when he fucks me. Plus, you know," he winked and nudged him. "He's fucking huge."
"Dude," Ryan sighed.
"What? He is." Bam laughed at him and Ryan scowled.
"Yeah well, Linde is too."
"I know, I've seen remember?"
"You are such an asshole sometimes."
"Yup. But yeah he is... I bet you love having his cock up your ass."
Ryan sighed, he was just drunk enough to cope with the conversation but there were times he really wished Bam was less open about talking about sex.
"Yeah I do," he said softly. "Bam, have you... have you and Ville ever um."
"Have we what dude?"
"Experimented?"
Bam snorted. "Well duh, lots but how, exactly, do you mean?"
"Fisting." He blinked, unable to quite believe he'd said it, admitted it. He wondered whether he should have said anything at all, even to Bam.
"You..." Bam's jaw dropped. "You and Linde... fisting? Really?"
"Yeah," he whispered.
"Did you uh..." Bam made a motion with his arm and then flushed, clearing his throat. "Or did he?"
"I um," Ryan repeated the gesture.
"Dude that's so awesome. I mean Ville got up to four fingers once, I came like, twice in a row but we've never... what's it like?"
"Fucking hot. Just seeing him," Ryan sighed, closing his eyes for a moment, "all hard and desperate, watching myself fuck him with fingers and then my whole hand..." His groin tingled with renewed want. "Fuck I want him to do me."
"Yeah," Bam sighed. "I mean, I want Ville to do me." He snickered quietly and Ryan elbowed him.
"He really is fucking hot, best lay, best sex..." He stopped, smiling dreamily. "Remember what you said when I first came out to you?"
"About the sex being so fucking good because I love Ville?" Bam asked softly.
"Yeah." Ryan smiled at his friend. "You were right. The sex is fucking awesome especially because I love him." He sighed, he'd finally come to a decision.
"Hello boys."
"Hey baby," Bam said, grinning widely.
"What's wrong with Linde?"
"What do you mean?" Ryan asked in concern.
"He was going into his room as I came out of ours, he looked upset."
"We didn't see him baby," Bam said with a frown.
"I'd better go back up, see if he's okay. I've got something to tell him anyway," Ryan said quietly. "See you later guys."
"Okay Ryan."
"Now darling, whose cock do I have to suck to get my husband back into bed?" Ville murmured as Ryan left the room. He heard Bam giggle then moan with a shake of his head and ran quickly up the stairs, heart pounding with excitement.
He opened the door. "Lin'?"
Linde was sitting on the bed, fully dressed, expression stony. "What do you want?" he snapped.
Rya stood half in and half out of the doorway, suddenly feeling intensely uncertain. "Lin', what's wrong?"
"Nothing, I'm just not in the mood for sex right now."
"What?"
"Sex Ryan," Linde said harshly. "I'm not up for it, so why don't you go back downstairs?"
"But I..." Ryan had no idea what was going on and Linde's coldness clutched at his heart painfully.
"Oh and you can sleep in Migé's room."
"What?" He had to blink back sudden tears. "Lin', I don't understand."
"What's to understand? That I was fucking stupid enough to think this could actually go somewhere?"
"It could... it is, Mikko please," he whispered.
"Don't you fucking dare call me Mikko you son of a bitch." Tears started to stream down Linde's cheeks. "You didn't come here for me, you didn't care how much it would hurt me to see you leave again. You came here for Bam and a convenient fuck."
Horror, shock and disbelief coalesced into bitterness he could taste in the back of his throat. "How can you say that?"
"I heard you and Bam," Linde snapped. "Best lay?"
Ryan swallowed back the bitterness, hurt replaced with anger as his temper exploded. He stalked into the room and dragged his clothes on, stuffing his feet into his sneakers as he shoved his scattered possessions into his bag.
"What are you doing?"
"Fuck you."
"What?"
"I said, fuck you Linde," he snapped. "I don't have to listen to this. If that's really how little you think of me then you're right, this won't work."
"Ryan, I..."
He turned and glared at the blond. "Yeah you're the best lay, best sex I ever had, you know why?"
"Why?"
"Because I love you, you prick." Linde's face drained of colour and he turned away, too angry, too hurt to do anything other than leave. He slammed the door shut and ran down the stairs as Ville and Bam came out of the kitchen.
"Bam, call me a cab."
"What? Why?"
"I'm leaving."
"Right now?" Ville gasped. "What happened?"
"Nothing, fucking nothing." He knew he was shaking, probably looked a little insane and both his friends were wide-eyed with worry. "Should have known better," he muttered.
"Ryan dude, calm down, can't we talk about this?"
"There's nothing to talk about, call me a cab or I'll fucking walk," he snapped.
"Okay, but I'm going with you."
"Don't bother."
"Ryan, I'm going with you!" Bam exclaimed. "Baby, call a cab while I get dressed would you?"
"Are you sure?" Ville asked softly.
Ryan watched the couple exchange looks and sighed a little enviously when Ville nodded.
"Oh okay sweetheart."
"Then go and see if Linde's okay?"
"Yeah," Ville said.
Ryan started to laugh a little hysterically. He had to get out of there or he'd give in and he couldn't because Linde was ultimately right. It would never work, no matter how much they loved each other, they just didn't really know each other.
Bam raced up the stairs as Ville made the phonecall and what seemed like only seconds later, he and Bam were in a taxi on the way to the airport.
"Why are you going?"
"Because I have to."
"Bullshit man."
"It's not bullshit. It had to end Bam, for both our sakes. Further down the line it just would have hurt more."
Bam sighed. "Who says it would have ended at all?"
"I do."
"You really believe that?" Bam asked, staring at him in disbelief. "After what you said in the kitchen earlier?"
Ryan swallowed hard. "He heard us you know."
"He did?"
"Yeah." He took a deep breath for control. "Stayed long enough to hear me say he was the best lay and assumed that's all I thought he was good for."
"Oh fuck. Ryan come on, he was being stupid and now you're being unreasonable."
"You're not going to change my mind Bam," Ryan whispered. He wasn't angry anymore, he hurt too much. Bam was right, he was being unreasonable but his lover... ex-lover, deserved so much better than anything he could offer him. It was better that it ended quickly, it would hurt less than Linde one day realising that he was a loser.
"Ryan..."
"Enough Bam. Drop me off and go home. Spend time with Ville before you have to go away again."
Bam's eyes shone. "You're an asshole."
"I love you too Bam."
Bam wrapped his arms round him tightly as the cab pulled up. "Stay," he whispered.
"I can't Bam," Ryan sighed. "Come visit soon, okay?"
"Don't do this," Bam said softly. "He really loves you."
"He'll get over it."
"Will you?"
Ryan hesitated, the pain that was crushing his heart felt like it would never abate but it would eventually, surely? He'd be okay soon enough.
"I'll be fine," he said, somehow sounding a lot more certain than he felt. "I'll see you."
Frowning at him, Bam shook his head. "You're sure?"
"I have to."
"Okay, okay," Bam sighed, hugging him quickly. "I'll come visit soon then."
"Cool. Hug Ville for me and tell Migé and everyone I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye."
"Okay Ryan."
He got out of the cab and looked back at his friend. "Take care of him, okay?"
"You know we will," Bam said, eyes brimming again.
"Bye Bam."
"Goodbye Ryan," Bam whispered. Ryan shut the door and walked away, ignoring his shattering heart. What was best for Linde was most important and he just wasn't it.
epilogue
"Linde?" Ville knocked quietly on his friend's door. "Can I come in?" There was no reply so he pushed the door open and went inside. The blond was curled up on the bed, crying like his heart was breaking. With a soft sigh, Ville hurried over and sat down, drawing him into his arms and hugging him tightly. Linde clung onto him, sobs racking his body.
"I'm sorry," Linde breathed eventually as he calmed down.
"Don't be," Ville said quietly. He hurt for his friend, both his friends, couldn't understand how it could have gone so wrong when they loved each other so much. How was he supposed to tell his friend that Ryan had left?
"I messed up Ville, so badly."
"Shh, it's okay."
"No it's not," Linde whispered. "I hurt him, I said... Ville, I need to apologise, I need..."
"Lintti," Ville sighed. He felt Linde stiffen in his arms.
"What?" Linde asked in a scared tone. "What is it?"
"He's... he's gone."
"What?" Linde looked up, eyes wide and shining. He shook his head. "No, he just... he was just going downstairs."
"I'm so sorry Lily but he's gone."
Linde's expression froze. "Don't call me that."
"What?"
"Don't ever call me Lily again."
"Linde?"
"Just..." Linde's face crumpled and he started to cry again. "Oh fuck Ville, why was I so stupid? Why is he such a stubborn idiot?"
"I don't know Linde," Ville whispered, trying not to cry for his friend as he pulled him close and rocked him gently. "I don't know."
The door opened and he looked up hopefully but Bam shook his head sadly. He beckoned to his husband and Bam stumbled into the room, climbing on the bed with them and wrapping his arms round them both. They held Linde until he cried himself to sleep, then tucked him into bed. Bam slid his arms gently round Ville's waist.
"He's gone?"
"Yeah," Bam sighed. "I couldn't talk him out of it. Baby, what are we going to do?"
"There's not a lot we can do sweetheart," he sighed. "Just try and take care of him."
"Yeah."
Kissing the top of Bam's head, Ville led him out of the room and back to their own where they cuddled up tightly on the bed.
"I love you Bam," he whispered.
"I love you too." Bam sniffed quietly, breath hitching and Ville pulled him closer, kissing him gently.
"They'll be okay eventually."
"Do you really think so?"
Ville grimaced. "I don't know."
end